thought i'd introduce me and my life...

[little momma]

hiah. my name is Grace and i'm 32 weeks pregnant at 18. the babies due on the 11th of june.
I am currently living with my partner who is 28 so you'd think he'd be a lot more mature about having a baby than i am. however, this is certainly not the case.
I've speant ridiculous amounts of money on furniture for a nursery and clothes and all the other stuff for the baby... and he has bought... a book. I have planned exactly how i want to decorate the nursery, and all of that planningy stuff has been done. by me. he however, is letting his alchoholic father live in the room we decided we would use for the babys bedroom. i don't want to bring my baby up with an alchoholic in the house anyway. because i just don't think it's right (i'm not trying to be horid and judgemental about alchoholics, every situation is different... but this particular one is BAD) and my partner won't talk to his dad about finding him alternative acomodation or even just moving to the smaller bedroom.
I also have discovered that my partner has been cheating on me. not with like one woman who is the love of his life or anything, just with randoms. because he can. which makes me SO cross. especially as he has done it while i have been pregnant, so it makes me feel like he is cheating on the baby too. also. i asked him to stop smoking. and he told me he had but i always catch him at it and he tries to hide it. which is also annoying because if he told me he was struggling to give up that would be ok. but i hate that he lies about it. and smokes in frount of our friends who know he lies about it to me, so that puts them in an orquard situation (i can never spell that word).
so yesterday i went to the estate agents. and i explained the situation. and they found my some nice two bedroom flats that i can just about afford. so i am moving out, but only to very near by. all the flats im looking at are only a 3-4 minute walk away from my parntner. because i dont want him to stop seeing his baby.
didn't realise how stressful this whole thing was going to be. i fainted the otherday which i've never done before and my midwife said it was just stress. which is a wierd reason to faint.
i don't know why i'm writing all this, i spose just to introduce myself and my situation. hopefuly my situation will be very different soon, i'm scared of being a single mum but im hoping my partner will still help out. i figure being a single mum has got to be better than living with a partner i cant trust and alchoholic. my partners never home anyway so i guess it doesnt make much difference.
however... i have 8 weeks to find, buy and move into a house. panic! the estate agent recons i can be in one of them in 4 weeks tho... so hopefully i'll like that one and then all my friends will come and help me move in.
right, time for a shower. nice to meet you all. i guess no ones in quite the same situation as me. but did anyone else break up with their partner while they were pregnant? or anything like that?
xxxx
Grace

 

[Jade&Evie]

There are quite a few single mums on here- doing fab jobs. I'm sure you'll be fine.

You are lucky that you can afford to buy a flat! Wish we could...
If you need to rent for a bit though- I would go for a one bed place as baby spends the first few months in your bedroom anyway!

Loads of room in 3rd tri at the moment because everyone seems to be popping- See you in there

 

[zebrastripes]

Hi

Sounds like a tough situation you're in, but you sound sensible enough,you've done the right thing by moving out but still allowing the father of your child access, if he wants it.

There are all sorts of people on this forum, it's a great place for help and support.

Take care!

 

[Penstraze]

Hi, welcome to the forum and congratulations on your pregnancy!
Sorry to hear your going through a tough time but its great that you are able to aford a flat and to get you and baby sorted somewhere else I totally agree that you and baby are beter off on your own then with a man you don't trust, I also think its very mature of you to be thinking of you ex and his contact with your baby after the way hes treated you, well done for putting your baby first!

 

[Sarah&Braydon]

hey welcome to the forum hun
i fell pregnant at 17 had been with babys -sperm donnor- for nearly 5 yrs, as soon as he found out i was pg he broke up with me,
i was 18 wen i had my son 2-1/2 yrs ago and weve not seen my ex for 2 yrs in may, i am now engaged with a new man and his the best thing that has ever happened to me and my son so things can turn out ok if u need to tlk hun im always here

 

[dannii87]

Hi Grace,

Welcome to the forum!

I'm really sorry to hear about your situation. I'm glad you've found this place though, if even for 8 weeks, we'll try to help you all we can with support etc

I am going to be a single Mum too, it can be done. We found out I was pregnant at Xmas and he proposed... 3 days later he went home to collect more bits - never to return! I haven't seen him since but I've spoken to him (about a week after he left) and he told me he wants nothing to do with us.

As much as it hurt at the time, I respected his wishes and stayed away, he lives about 45 minutes drive from me so there was never chance of "bumping" into each other anyway so he got an easy escape

Anyway, my point is, I am doing this completely alone, and it totally works for me right now. I have no respect, no love, no NOTHING for that so called man and I feel as though I am in a MUCH better position without him. He'd have dragged me down in the end and as a result, I really don't think it would have worked out.

I think you've done incredibly well for coping the way you have despite everything he has thrown at you. I'm 20, not much older than you, so I know how daunting parenthood can be facing it alone.

One thing someone said to me, "we are not the first single Mums to bring children into the world, and we're certainly not the last" so here's a hug for coping so well, and here's another for doing the best by your unborn child

Sounds like you're a real trooper Missy, you carry on doing that and I hope the next 8 weeks go very smoothly for you! xx

 

[mrs_tommo22]

Hi Grace, welcome to the forum!

It sounds like a horrible situation that youe in, but you sound amazingly together about everything and wanted to wish you luck.

Having had a stepfather for a alcoholic i wouldnt want to bring up kids with one either and dont blame you for wanting out as well as a cheating partner - well done on being brave and taking the plunge to better yourself and your babys life.

I just want to wish you the best of luck and hope to see you around on here

 

[Miss.Monroe]

just wanted to say hello and welcome, congrats to you on making the right decision for you and your baby!

we are always here to chat hun. keep strong and dont let the bad days get in the way of all the fun and enjoyment you and your baby will have.

 

[little momma]

thanks everyone!
it's so nice that you're all so... nice! hehe.
the offer i made on a flat got accepted today! but the transfer of ownership is my due date...

 

[dannii87]

Oooh! Hopefully bubs will be good for mummy and arrive a little bit early or a little bit late!

Congratulations on the flat though, that's wonderful news! xx

 

[HideiLu]

Hey Grace!

Hope you are doing well. Congrats on the offer being accepted! As Dannii said above, hope bubs comes on an alternative date and the move goes smoothly!

Lucie x

 

[little momma]

here's a little update for you all, incase you're interested...
all my furniture for the babies nursery arived today... so it's all sitting in the way of the tv in the sitting room as it has no where to go until i actually get the flat...
but at least this way someone here might actually notice i'm pregnant.
i've also decided to go and stay with my mum in cambridge for... a month or so while i wait to have the baby and then have the baby in a hospital there... that way whenever i have it there will be a safe loving and happy home for him/her to come back to. and then once i've had the baby and the transfer date has happened my mum will come back with me and help me move...
the only thing is is i dont know how to transfer my hospital stuff from southampton to cambridge, but it cant be that hard. and at the end of the day, if i'm having my baby... no hospital is going to turn me away. one would hope.
anyway, just thought i'd update you all... i'm getting more and more and more stressed as the days go on... but hopefuly, everything will be fine and work out...
love to all
xxxxx

 

[jayla's mummy]

hi hun welcome to the forum.
sorry to hear about your situation but happy to hear that you have made the right disusscion for u and ur baby.
were all here to talk and we have loads of single mums.
xx

 

[Baby&i]

Hello hunny, wow its lovely to see you so collected. Men can be such a**holes at times. dont panic you will be an excellent mum. all baby needs is love and your there to give x2. i know this isnt your situation, but i can relate to how your feeling, i was with my ex since we was in primary school. i loved him to bits and thought one day we will be a happy family married with kids. i fell pregnant on the pill after years of abuse. i loved him too much to escape and finally after boiling over i said enough and got rid. he tried to hurt us and make me miscarry but my LO was sticking in there for mummy. i escaped and moved away, had my daughter, and at this time i was only 16. but she changed my life she makes me complete and sooo happy its unreal. i never struggled ever, must just have been the mothers instinct. i had enough money to support us both and never needed him ever. i never wanted him back after the pain i went though with him. He said i hate you both for ruining my life. he cheated on me with four of my "friends" that i know of and knew it was happening, i just didnt want to beleive. your doing a good move and dont look back if things arnt good. my daughter calls my fiance daddy they love eachother to bits, we have been together since she was only months old and we are getting married in only a few weeks. hes the most amazing guy and i live a 12 hour flight away from the ex where we are safe. we have 4 properties and a great income, its a good job as we have a little xmas addition to be looking forward to. the break up was the best thing i could have ever done for my daughter. shes the happiest girl iv ever known so dont ever feel like your letting your LO down like i did because your not. congrats on your pregnancy and flat! xxx wish you all the best hun xx keep strong