thinking about giving up breastfeeding

[spice]

dont know what i'm expecting from anyone, just needed to say this to someone as i cant talk to my mum about it atm! and its going to be along one so well done if you make it to the end!

so after all the worries i've had about Flynn getting enough milk, the lengths of his feeds and how long he's sleeping for i'm starting to feel like i cant do it any more (breastfeeding that is!)

i noticed a few days ago my left nipple looked really sore, now the sore patch has turned into a really big deep crack, that literary looks like a third of the top of my nipple will fall off if the scab came away have spoken to two midwives and they both said he was latching on properly so it should heal, but it hasn't and i cant even put any pressure on it without almost crying out in pain so i've been hand expressing from that boob but can never seem to get much out!

Flynn was feeding from the right boob fine, but yesterday and today he's not wanted to take it, he latches perfectly sucks and then drops the latch! so now my right nipple has got sore and i noticed a small crack after he bit down on the middle on my nipple before i had a chance to get it into the right position!

AND to top it all of, i get this really horrid pain every time he feeds, from either boob, like an unbearable pulling sensation from under my armpits, (tried to talk to midwife about this yesterday but she ignored me, as per usual!) so have had a read online and think it could be mastitis as they feel really warm and i have sections that feel rock solid and others that are spongy!

i really don't know what to do, we went out and brought some formula as i cant express enough to keep him satisfied (we have an electric pump but my nipples are so sore i can't use it ) but i really don't want to give up on breastfeeding! i feel like a failure, i want him to have the best but i know i can't give him enough of it to keep him satisfied my OH has been really hard on me today too, he can't see why i want to put myself through the pain to keep breastfeeding, his opinion is that he needs to look out for both me and Flynn and that me being unhappy and in pain is not good for any of us. i really don't want to give up completely on breastfeeding but i don't know how i'm going to cope. i'd honestly rather go through labour again than feel all the pains i am now and while breastfeeding . . . and Flynn was twisted in a odd way so i had a back to back labour!

like i said, really don't know what i'm asking here but thank you x

 

[Esoames]

You've done so well! And well done for trying while you are in so much pain and discomfort, so selfless . Flynn is a lucky boy.

Ultimately you need to do what makes you happy. If you carry on feeding while in so much pain that could become resentment towards Flynn. Have you got a breastfeeding group you could attend at a children's centre?

Also try a different hold, rugby ball or lie down to see if he prefers that

Emma x


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[Maria1977]

Can't offer any more advice than Emma has. Defo contact your local BFing group, they are fantastic and do not pressure at all.

I have been lucky and haven't suffered with mastitis, my mum did when BFing me and they say the best way to clear the ducts is to keep feeding through the pain unfortunately.

But a trip to the doctors for confirmation and antibiotics should defo be on the list too hun.

Don't worry if you want to give up and move on to FF, you have given your son the absolute best start. BFing is not easy, nobody really warns you that for something so natural it doesn't really come naturally for mother or baby alot of the time. The midwives on the ward I was on after Oscars birth all said that most babies have trouble latching on and feeding, you would think it would be the other way round!!

You have to do what makes you happy because happy mummy = happy baby.

Hope you feel better soon

 

[frankie707]

It can be really hard the first few weeks, I had really sore nipples (cracks and blood ) and was constantly worrying if he was getting enough. I stuck through it and by 3 weeks my nipples had healed and I was soooo much happier feeding. Are you using lanisnoh on your nipples? It made a huge difference to mine.
Going to a local breast feeding group is worth a try - its other mums helping you out and listening to your worries not mw's.
If you think there's a possibility you might have mastitis my advice would be to see GP asap - they can give you anti biotics and as said already the best thing to guard against blocked ducts or clear mastitis is to feed regularly.
Make sure you do what makes you happiest in the long run though.

 

[BabysMomma]

I can't offer any advice really hunni only send massive your way. I understand how hard it is but you are certainly having a tougher time of it than I did.

It really makes me angry that your MW is dismissing your concerns and not being helpful at all. Mine were the same.

You do what you feel is right for you hunni. I too feel like a failure and feel so guilty...but then I see how much Avery is thriving and I feel a teeny bit better.

Like said before on here, a happy Mummy = happy baby and vice versa. And that's what I keep preaching to myself

Hope you're ok and your nipples heal very quickly. x

 

[spice]

thank you all so much for your replies

well i've been expressing as often as i can to try and keep the supply up, and we've been giving him that and then topping up with formula if he's still hungry. just hope i can keep the supply going strong enough that when i'm all healed i can try to re-introduce breastfeeding! otherwise i'm going to be getting a lot of use out of the electric pump!

my mum phoned me last night and i broke down on the phone to her (she's a proper hippy, right breast is best kinda lady!) but she said i'm doing the best for Flynn that i can and that's all that matters! made me feel so much more comfortable with having to top him up with formula! she also made me re-evaluate the mastitis thing and i don't think i have it after all, but am going to keep an eye out for the signs i don't currently have and call my GP if i notice any of them!

thank you all again x

 

[JJ Mum]

Glad your feeling better about it all, and your chat with your mum went well

What about nipple shields to feed and let the nipples recover, and I second what Frankie said, as far as nipple creams go, Lansinoh is worth every penny, slap it on after every feed, on both sides! and they will soon be good as new. I only used mine for the first month or so, and never needed it after that, nipples got used to it.

If you ened up giving up, then don't worry Flynn has had the best start , your doing great

 

[Piglet's Mama]

Spice - I got to day 3 with Brooke and felt she wasn't getting enough either, MW was useless so I combination fed her with Aptimil first milk until my milk came in. For the last few days I have now been expressing all her feeds with my pump (the Medela Swing - it is a god send). I express 3 times a day, half an hour each boob and i'm getting between 4-5oz per boob. My nipples too are wrecked, but when I've finished expressing I let them dry, slather them in lanisoh, pad them up and secure them in my humongous nursing bra!
I would like to express more but with the flow of visitors it's a bit tricky at the mo, I get massive red cheeks when my boobs are full though so Al knows when I need to nip off for an hour to pump!
Even though I know she is getting my milk (and she put on 2oz at her 5 day check) I still feel guilty that she's not actually on my boob which I know is daft - the pressure we put on ourselves! X

 

[spice]

JJ mum- i was already using nipple sheilds on my left boob as it was that bad and it helped him latch, but since the pain got a lot worse, and i had a good look at them . . . (gross tmi) i reallised a bit was flapping around and getting pulled away from the rest of the nipple inside the sheild trying to let it heal over now so i can try and start up again!

the mw that came over on tuesday gave me about 20 sachets of Lansinoh, but i'd already had quite a few from the anti-natal class's but it seemed to be making them worse atm! but going to wait it out and use it once they've healed!

Jen- i have the Medela mini pump as it was only supposed to be used occasionally, but i cant even use it atm, did mamage a few times the other day but my nipples are so bad that any contact (even my own hand) can bring me to tears but i want Flynn to have it so bad i'm putting up with it, and hoping i can keep my supply going until they have healed and i can then try and introduce breast again and if he wont take it i'll just use the pump to express!
you're doing better than i am! well done for being so strong with it! Brook is a lucky girl x

 

[Rowesb]

I would try and get in touch with your local bf support group, bosom buddies or peer supporters, even if there isn't one in your health visitor patch you can attend any that you are able to get too. the breast feeding association is good or the NCT has breastfeeding counsellors too. I found that when anyone saw me latch Toby was on perfectly, but otherwise he didn't, the group was fab in watching how others did it and tips to try at home. and working out where we were going wrong...
I'm a peer supported so let me know if you need any info/numbers and will get back to you
it might be worth trying a different brand of nipple cream too, keeping them moisturised will help them heal xx
Well done for getting this far x

 

[frankie707]

Spice - I remember when my nipples were really bad with cracks and blood that the lanisnoh seemed to just make them go white and look awful (almost like blisters that have been in the water too long - sorry tmi) but it was helping and they fully healed I promise! Hope yours are feeling better very soon.

 

[Tasha89]

I had a crack about 1cm in length and 0.5cm wide in my left nipple and I was in tears every time Evelyn latched on. I got so close to sending OH out for formula on many occassions but we got through it.

I fed her off my right side about 75% of the time and let air get to the crack at any opportunity and it healed up in no time. I used to dread feeding her. It DOES get easier and I managed to feed Evelyn until her first birthday

At the end of the day you need to be happy so you do what makes you happy and sod everyone elses opinions! I'm here if you need anything though - just PM me xx

 

[Miss]

Aww hun I had the same problem my nipples were so sore, cracked and bleeding that I dreaded feeds and used to cuss, bite my lip and curl my toes every time she latched on.

It does get easier and as someone above has said try a different hold! I found that the rugby ball hold with her on a bed pillow helped me loads as it was a different part of my nipple taking the pressure.

Whatever you decide in the end hun let it be your decision and don't let anyone make you feel guilty

Good luck! xx

 

[Maria1977]

I was lucky and that my nipples never got too bad, but I can't use lansinoh cream because it has lanolin in it anyway. I think therer is another cream that doesn't have lanolin that might be better if your nipples are senstive to lansinoh? Might be worth trying a different cream xxx

 

[Rowesb]

How's it going Hun

 

[spice]

well thought i'd give you all a quick update . . .

so Flynn has been mainly formula feed since my last post, I had been managing to express but wasn't getting very much at all, probably due to the fact that I had a few days where I hadn't expressed mainly due to the pain, which i know is quite selfish (well i feel it was) anyhow, my nipples are healed now and I'd been using my electric pump, but after a few bad days with Flynn where I just didn't get time to express I know my supply has dwindled even more and now I'm trying to work out how I can get it back up again, even if it means he only gets one or two feeds from me that's got to be better than none?

the next problem is . . . he's such a hungry monster, he'll quite happily guzzle down 4oz then no more than an hour later he'll be crying and stuffing his hand in his mouth again and he'll happily take another 2oz. that wouldn't bother me if it was expressed milk. he's currently on cow and gate formula and my OH wants to switch him to a hungry babies formula . . . I don't know what to do, I already feel like i was really selfish and should of carried on breastfeeding through all the pain, and I'm worried I wont have the time to get my supply up too

don't know what else to say really, thank you all so much for your support and advice x

 

[frankie707]

Firstly stop beating yourself up about it
Ways to get your supply up: Mainly feeding/sucking so possibly halfway through a bottle offer her boobies for a few minutes and then offer the rest of the bottle - that way every few hours your body would be being stimulated to produce milk.
Fenugreek capsules work - you can get them at high street health shops
Lots of water
Oats - porridge, flapjacks

Hope you can do what you want with the bf but please dont stress yourself about it, your obviously a great mummy who wants to give her baby the best but you need to be happy, stress free and relaxed overall.

 

[Rowesb]

If you can one of the best ways of upping supply is lots and lots of skin to skin, literally take a full off everything and have a pj day without you top on and LO in just a nappy. Formula is more filling anyway and completely differently digested to beast milk.

Have you a baby cafe/ any sort of support group or health visitor drop in near you? Try and get to one as they will help give you local support and a local peer supporter

It can be done, bit needs time and patience x

 

[Geminiblue]

I know this is controversial but here goes....ok so I breastfed my LO for 11 months and he screamed for nearly that whole time I jus put myself under so much pressure, he fed nearly every 2 hours for the first 5 months and this was through the night as well....I was shot, I was on the edge....this time Im so scared that thats going to happen again especially now LO is 2 and doing that all over again but with another one is my nightmare. I dont want to feel guilty like last time, I will try but I will use formula if I think the baby is hungry, I will jsut have to I was a woman on the crazy edge, i just cant do it to myself nor my family again. I did the skin on skin, expressing + breast did it all believe me for 11 months and that entire time he screamed.....

christ its making me feel ill thinking about it. What Im saying is please dont punish yourself, give yourself a break. I wish I had. Some people it works for perfectly fine some it doesnt
Thinking of you poppitt butif you end up on formula please please please try not to feel guilty or beat yourself up I know its hard]xxx