Telling Parents - Terrified

[CrazyJaney]

Hi all,

I really need some advice. I'm stressing myself out in a big way about how I'm possibly going to tell my parents about my pregnancy. I feel I can't truly enjoy this without letting them know. It's going to be a huge hurdle and a massive shock to them. I'm so close to them that there opinion means everything.

I am single and this pregnancy is a result of a fling. The father wants nothing to do with it and I am fully understanding of this. I think the men get a bad deal as the decision is taken away from them. I am having this baby completely on my own. So.. any ideas about how I go about telling my parents? I really am going to have to tell them soon... plus I need my mums help and support and I am starting to feel a little depressed from all of the worry that surrounds telling them.

I'm just terrified about it and don't want to be a disappointment to them

Thanks for listening xx

 

[titch]

I can understand how you feel, I was terrified! I think the best way is to just be honest and say that youre in a difficult situation and you really need their help. I was sooo scared but I rang my mums mobile so my dad wouldnt answer lol, its easier to talk to mums sometimes!

My parents have been fantastic, theyre so excited and Im so glad I told them early on cos I needed to have her there to talk to about various things, and help me through my morning sickness and moving house.

I dont think theres anything special you can say to make it easier though, youve just got to jump that hurdle and then everything will be fine. My mum was totally in shock at first but rang me back about 2 hours later and asked loads of questions and apologised that she was so shocked earlier she didnt know what to say. Let us know how it goes.

 

[Emmamb]

There's 2 ways u could do it...treat them 2 a meal,public place so they can't make a scene, then break it to them gently.

Or,just tell them,blurt it out,either on phone or as ur leaving there house,then they can digest the news and react later.

This is my 4th baby,I was 15 wen I fell pregnant wiv my 1st,my mum knew about it but had to tell my partners parents,his mum went balistic and chucked him out the house,wen he went back a few hours later she'd calmed down and accepted it.
Wiv my 3rd baby i'd only just moved in wiv my new partner wen I fell pg,went to my mums and just blurted it out,got in my car and drove home,again they was fine with it later.
I was a bit braver this time and told her on the phone,she was shocked but was joking about it by the end of the conversation xxx good luck xxx

 

[vixforever]

Hi hunni, I remember telling my Mum when I was pregnant with my DS Jacob. I was 16 very nearly 17. I was living at home and I'd known for a few weeks and was at the stage you are now. I even waited for my Dad to go on a business trip for the week, lol. The father left me also and although I found it difficult to say, they have been the best support I ever had!

 

[Lilelephant]

Hun they r your parents and they love you. It may be a shock to them but they will be there for you X

 

[CrazyJaney]

Thanks so much for the advice. I know they will support me so I really don't know why I am so terrified! It's just not the way things are done in my family.

I'm 32 and own my own home and have a good job. I'm ready to have this baby and I know I will provide all the love this baby needs. I know I can do it. It took me a while to get used to the idea but I just want to start getting excited about it now.

I may do it this weekend. I tried last weekend but wimped out and ended up with a migraine from all the worry.

You guys are great, thanks so much x

 

[Lacey's Mummy]

Their be fine hun!! It's suprising how worked up you get but actually your parents are supportive! I thought my dad would go mad but he was fine, a little quite for afew days but he loves being a grandad now! Goodluck your be fine x x

 

[CrazyJaney]

Ah thanks, I'll let you know how I get on once I get the nerve to do it! I know I will feel a huge relief once I get it over with. I really want to get it out of the way prior to my 1st scan because I'd love it if my Mum would come along with me

 

[megsmeadow]

I was totally terrified too and my OH kept putting it off!! We told my mum first and she was very shocked as we're not married and had only been together for a year, and only just engaged. She's quite old fashioned but we let her know how happy we were about the pregnancy and she ended up saying that she would have rather we were married first but didn't want to be an old grandmother so she couldn't have it both ways!!
I think you're mum will be delighted to be such a close support, I think mums are often pushed to the side a little when an OH is in the picture. Good luck, the shock doesn't last for long!!

 

[CrazyJaney]

megsmeadow, that's something I hadn't thought of! My Brother has a little boy and because my sister-in-law has such a large family, we are always fighting to spend time with him etc. That's such a positive way of looking at it! Both during and after the pregnancy she can pretty much be as involved as she likes!

Thanks....

 

[JJ Mum]

Prepare yourself for them to be shocked, and need time to get there heads round it
then when you tell them, you expectations will either be met perfectly and your ready for that, and if they are instantly over the moon, your will be too. Don't forget many people will be surprised , it doesn't ,mean they care any less or are disapointed in you, it's just alot to process when you haven't had 10 weeks nottice like you! tell her you would love her at the scan, I imagine she will jump for joy with that. And as for being single , well mum's like a good crisis and without an OH in the way, she can get right in there and offer support all over the place without stepping on her toes!

Good luck when you tell them, get it out the way and then enjoy X

 

[x-misspinkuk-x]

i was scared to tell my mum when i was pregnant with my daughter, so i toke her for a bite to eat ( public place so she wouldnt throw a hissy fit) and told her. to my surprise she was over the moon. so excited, actually she said that she already knew.
take a deep breath and remember you parents love you, good luck xx

 

[megsmeadow]

megsmeadow, that's something I hadn't thought of! My Brother has a little boy and because my sister-in-law has such a large family, we are always fighting to spend time with him etc. That's such a positive way of looking at it! Both during and after the pregnancy she can pretty much be as involved as she likes!

Thanks....

I'm close to my mum and she has stuck by me through some really icky times. This is such a big event in my life and of course she is involved but my OH is the one getting to come to all the appointments, feel bubs move and be at the birth (and I wouldn't have it any other way), but I do feel she is missing out, and feel a bit guilty about that at times. In a few weeks time you'll wonder what you were worrying about!

 

[lealea85]

i feel ur pain.
i had a major falling out with my mum, havent spoken to her since april 5th this year, the first thing my family said was "now that you have moved out dont go and get yourself pregnant"......ive been with my boyfriend 6 weeks and im pregnant.....im scared shitless. my dad is happy....but my mum side of the family are religious, they havent met him, we have been together 6 weeks and he isnt west indian/carribean so ima get hell. im happy as heck tho


bite the bullet on the head and tell them.....i am taking my own advice