Tell us your age when you give birth to your first child

[Froslass]

I wouldn't really count a 22 year old as a young mum. Our neighbor has 2 children and is still a teenager. She is not a terrible mum but I do believe she would have benefited from being older.

How can you possibly tell that though?

We live in an appartment block with them downstairs from us so we can hear when she yells at her baby for crying etc. I actually think she is a nice girl but it was obviouse she was still a child herself when she had the first (she was only about 14 when she got pregnant). I do admire her and her mother for making the most out of a hard situation but I don't think anyone would argue that she was mature enough to have a baby.

Point taken - but 14 is ridiculously young, and not as common as you'd think.

When people think of young mums, they don't think teenage mums IMO - they think 18-25 possibly? (That's a generalisation) and the discussion in this thread was more about mums of that age which is why I commented when I did.

 

[BunnyN]

It's true she may be the same when she is older but I do feel she will mature with time, especially as she is a nice girl on the whole. I don't think the father is much older than her. But I was only bringing it up as an example to point out that different peoples ideas of young vary and at some point there is such a thing as too young. I was married at 22 which people are always saying is young to marry but I never really felt it was that young. We were married 11 years before we had our LO and although I enjoyed the time we had just for us and we did things we wouldn't have had the chance to do with a baby I don't feel we would have been too young if we had had a baby right away.

 

[cosmicgirl]

I was too young when I got pregnant at 18, so much to see and do first x

 

[redbear]

Don't get me wrong yes there are some parents who have babies too young, some have them too old too (60 for example imo) and everyone is different i had my wild days and was sick of the scene i don't miss it at all, i may also have more kids when im older, it wont mean im any better.

My mum had me at 35 so not an old mum but i stuggled to fit in, my mum didn't have younger friends so didn't know the in trends and i was always a step behind and it didn't matter how hard i tried by the time i saw people with it, told my mum and got it, it was out of fashion! Im not saying all old mums are like that but one reason i don't think older is always best... but sometimes there are some mums who should have lived there wild days before they had kids. x

Does that even make the point i thought it did?

 

[TORino]

How does a 14 year old provide for a baby?

I.e financially?

You aren't even able to get a job at that age are you? Other than a paper round of course.

The difficulty many young people have is being able to get jobs these days, the unemployment rate in under 25 year olds is the highest it has even been.

In my opinion, you should not TRY for a baby unless you can provide for it, and by my book that means have enough money to feed it, dress it and a place for it to live etc

I was not in a position to do the above things until I was 21. At that age I was cherishing the independence I had gained from leaving my own parents. It wasn't even on my radar back then. Far far from it.

It is a very individual choice and there are advantages and disadvantages to having kids young or older.

 

[Hunnie]

In my opinion, you should not TRY for a baby unless you can provide for it, and by my book that means have enough money to feed it, dress it and a place for it to live etc

This exactly!!!!!!! I know mistakes happen and babies come unplanned leading to people needing financial support but nowadays it's happening far too often that people have children knowing full well someone else will foot the bill and are pretty happy to never have to fully financially support themselves!! My OH is only 25 and has worked from a very young age and has an amazing work ethic! When I got pregnant with LO he knew we would need all the money we could get and stepped up his game and went out there and found more work and grafted all hours of the day (doing near enough night and day with only a few hours of sleep!!). He might not have necessarily enjoyed the work he was doing but he carried on doing so because he was brought up in the old fashioned way that if you want something you go and work for it!! This is in comparison to someone younger who I know that has 1 child and 1 on the way and yet chooses to only work for one agency that generally gives him 2/3 days work weekly, instead of being on the books for a few agencies and ensuring he has 5/6 days a week work so that his earnings are higher and the family dont have to rely on state benefits as much. The work ethic in this country has completely gone to the dogs!

I was 18 when I got pregnant and 19 by the time I had my LO. It was a massive struggle but by the time LO had arrived we had got a mortgage and were quite happily settled and in a position where we could afford to live but couldn't afford the luxuries of new cars and fancy holidays etc. We havent received any type of handouts from anyone whether it be state or from family and although its been tough and both me and OH have had to sacrifice time with LO, our hard work is finally paying off.

Ive ranted on a fair bit but I think what im getting at is age should never be looked upon as everyones situation is completely different! I don't think if we'd have had LO later it would make much difference other than the fact that we would have just been more prepared but not financially better off from having LO later as we would have just found other things to spend the money on. The type of parent you become is centred around your ethics, morals and personality.

 

[redbear]

Im talking about an older person loving ther child more than a young one not which ones shouldn't plan for a baby, im talking about if the babies already here the 14 year old may care for the baby better than some 30 year olds. Not arguing which one should have had them because that's a whole different debate. xx

 

[redbear]

Ive worked from aged 15 part time and then 17 full time, my husband worked from age 15 too as he left school at that age and had two days off between school and starting work and we earnt more than some adults on the rock and roll with a bad back. We didn't have kids then obviously we wherent ready for them but if we had it wouldn't have been any financially different from now-- apart from he was on more money with a better job (he was a joiner) x

 

[BevG]

obvously isnt english as a 1st language and having trouble expressing what they mean properly

 

[Froslass]

In my opinion, you should not TRY for a baby unless you can provide for it, and by my book that means have enough money to feed it, dress it and a place for it to live etc

This exactly!!!!!!! I know mistakes happen and babies come unplanned leading to people needing financial support but nowadays it's happening far too often that people have children knowing full well someone else will foot the bill and are pretty happy to never have to fully financially support themselves!! My OH is only 25 and has worked from a very young age and has an amazing work ethic! When I got pregnant with LO he knew we would need all the money we could get and stepped up his game and went out there and found more work and grafted all hours of the day (doing near enough night and day with only a few hours of sleep!!). He might not have necessarily enjoyed the work he was doing but he carried on doing so because he was brought up in the old fashioned way that if you want something you go and work for it!! This is in comparison to someone younger who I know that has 1 child and 1 on the way and yet chooses to only work for one agency that generally gives him 2/3 days work weekly, instead of being on the books for a few agencies and ensuring he has 5/6 days a week work so that his earnings are higher and the family dont have to rely on state benefits as much. The work ethic in this country has completely gone to the dogs!

I was 18 when I got pregnant and 19 by the time I had my LO. It was a massive struggle but by the time LO had arrived we had got a mortgage and were quite happily settled and in a position where we could afford to live but couldn't afford the luxuries of new cars and fancy holidays etc. We havent received any type of handouts from anyone whether it be state or from family and although its been tough and both me and OH have had to sacrifice time with LO, our hard work is finally paying off.

Ive ranted on a fair bit but I think what im getting at is age should never be looked upon as everyones situation is completely different! I don't think if we'd have had LO later it would make much difference other than the fact that we would have just been more prepared but not financially better off from having LO later as we would have just found other things to spend the money on. The type of parent you become is centred around your ethics, morals and personality.

Here here!

My OH worked two jobs and full time uni to support us because that's his work ethic. He can't stand the idea of relying on others x

 

[PyscoFalcon]

I was 30 when had Katie (31 now) and hubby is soon 32.

BUT we started trying for a kid when I was 23!

Been married since I was 20 so could always provide for one (house, food etc) TBH you'll have one when your body says you can

 

[Foxini]

I was 22 when I had DS just over 5 years ago. This time I'll be 28.

 

[yuku]

you'll have one when your body says you can

I am totally agree with your opinion. In this thread, we have seen that mothers choose to have babies in different ages( in 20s, 30s or even 40s).Everyone want to share this kind of proud eagerly and every mum seems happy. So i think i can answer the question that i started in this thead, that is there is no perfect age to be a mum, just follow our own heart.

 

[Lovinglife1988]

I was 16 whith my first and will be 25 with my next. Hubby was 15 with first and will be 24 with the next.

I'm not really sure what to say....... I agree with some of the comments but I also disagree with quite a lot.

When I was pregnant me and hubby were both in the middle of our GCSE's. we both managed to pass them all.

We don't feel that it has stopped s from doing anything. And I can honestly say that's have loved every minute of being a mum.

As soon as hubby found out I was preg he worked on a farm for 40 every weekend. Okay it wasn't much but as we were still living with parents we managed to buy everything we needed without asking for help.

We moved out into our own home when dd was 6 months

Since then we gt married at the age of 19.

I have completed a law degree and I am now law lecturer in a college and hubby is an engineer. I am now 13+5 with our next child.

I don't think it has anything to do with age or money. If that person wants to make the most out of the situation and their life then they will.

Me and my husband did anything to provide for our daughter and now we are lucky to have a polite well mannered young lady with a very kind heart.






Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk - now Free

 

[kathryn87]

I was 3 weeks after my 17th birthday when Harrison was born. He wasn't planned but never ever regretted it. My partner quit collage & got a job. 9 years later we have 3 beautiful children & are still young lol (26 & 29).
Age is just a number in my opinion.

 

[xSebbiesMumx]

I was 22 when i had Sebastian , he was born 3 weeks before i turned 23 , ive been with my OH for 3 years and engaged for 3 years next month

 

[yuku]

I was 16 whith my first and will be 25 with my next. Hubby was 15 with first and will be 24 with the next.

I'm not really sure what to say....... I agree with some of the comments but I also disagree with quite a lot.

When I was pregnant me and hubby were both in the middle of our GCSE's. we both managed to pass them all.

We don't feel that it has stopped s from doing anything. And I can honestly say that's have loved every minute of being a mum.

As soon as hubby found out I was preg he worked on a farm for 40 every weekend. Okay it wasn't much but as we were still living with parents we managed to buy everything we needed without asking for help.

We moved out into our own home when dd was 6 months

Since then we gt married at the age of 19.

I have completed a law degree and I am now law lecturer in a college and hubby is an engineer. I am now 13+5 with our next child.

I don't think it has anything to do with age or money. If that person wants to make the most out of the situation and their life then they will.

Me and my husband did anything to provide for our daughter and now we are lucky to have a polite well mannered young lady with a very kind heart.






Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk - now Free

Wow, your story can be made into a moive about love growth and maturation.

 

[SuffolkMum]

I always wanted a baby before I was 30 - and I gave birth to my son with just two months to spare lol. My hubby is 13 years older than me, so was 42 when Zachary was born.

I'm 33 now and would really like to have my second before I'm 35.

 

[yuku]

I always wanted a baby before I was 30 - and I gave birth to my son with just two months to spare lol. My hubby is 13 years older than me, so was 42 when Zachary was born.

I'm 33 now and would really like to have my second before I'm 35.

Wish you dream would come true. What a happy family!

 

[babyem]

I was 21 when I had my baby and am 22 now. I so wish I had waited til I was older. She was planned and I wanted the family life, but thats when I was in a relationship with my ex who I thought I would be with for life. Anyway it didnt work out and I think that looking back we rushed things. I wasnt bothered about not doing all the things I wanted when I was with him but being single has made me realise thats not true. I love festivals, partying, going out when I please and just coming home when I fancy.

However I wouldnt change anything. It was obviously all meant to be and LM was meant to be my daughter. I love her to bits but I really do wish Id waited.

If I do have another child, I want to have my own house, good job, nice car, LM in school, be with a decent loyal bloke. I could go on.

For me it was not the perfect age to have her. She was a big baby and as such my body was able to labour properly, so age wasnt an advantage in that respect. I feel I wasnt mature enough or fully prepared for motherhood. It has been rather overwhelming at times knowing that I have whole responsibility for a tiny human being!

As for marriage, yes it would be lovely, but after this year I think a turkey baster would be a better choice ha x