Tell us your age when you give birth to your first child

[Froslass]

Actually, there are many women choose to have a baby in their 30s and 40s. It turns out that their babies are quite healthy. And mothers in 30s and 40s will spare more love to their babies since they know it is not easy.

I'm not sure how you can say women over 30 will spare more love for a child? Are you saying anybody under 30 will love their child less?

Of course all the mother in the world love their kids. What i mean is that it is relatively harder for 40-year-old women to get pregrent, so they may dying for a baby whom they will coddle more carefully and are more willing to accept the changes that come with having a child. They may miss out on traveling or shopping with their girlfriends, but they do not mind as much as many young mothers. Also, parenting ability evolves with age. Raising children can be emotionally and physically taxing and many parents – especially young ones – aren’t completely prepared for the sacrifice and patience it often requires.It is just my personal opinion of the general mums. At least i am not ready to be a qualified mother, and i am 24 years old now.

Sorry, parenting ability evolves with age? What exactly are you basing this ridiculous statement on? I'm 22, was 20 when I had my daughter and I'm just as able to care and parent my daughter as anyone else - do you think I'd be a better mother if I was older?

I breastfed her, formula fed her, weaned her, taught her to walk, teach her to talk, teach her right from wrong, love her with all I have, soothe her when she's upset, provide for her, play with her and many other things. My love for her is not because of my age, my ability to care for her and parent her is not down to my age. It's because I am her mother.

 

[Froslass]

Do you know what, NO ONE is completely prepared for a child no matter their age, and no matter how prepared they might feel.

Kids are testing for people of any age. I know plenty of older people who have much less patience than I.

And yes, whilst younger people might "not want to give up going out" there are older people who won't want to give things up too.

When you be one a parent you do your best, age is not a deciding factor on who makes "better" parents.

 

[cosmicgirl]

I had my first at 18, wished I'd waited and experienced more beforehand (he wasn't planned).
Had my second at 24, again would have liked to have waited, maybe travelled etc but was under pressure from a controlling (now ex) husband.
Had the twins age 29 and last lo age 33 - better! This is ideally when I'd like to have started having children.
I loved them all (obviously) at all ages but I felt I was better equipped once I had matured in age. I missed out on a lot and establishing a successful career was a lot harder for me than my classmates at uni.

 

[Claire123]

'Parenting ability evolves with age'

Sorry but this is a ridiculous statement to make!!!! You get fab young mothers and fab older mothers just as you get not so fab young mothers and not so fab older mothers!!!!!!!!!

P

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[l_maclean]

Maybe it evolves with the age of your children!!!! But that's about it!!!

Obviously there are things that you do the first time that you tend not to do with subsequent children, but I don't believe for a minute thus purely due to the age of the mother -more likely to the fact that you've learned from your "mistakes"

I'm sure there are plenty of young mums out there who wish they'd waited a bit longer, same as plenty of older mums who wish they'd started a bit earlier!!!!

Tbh I'd be inclined to argue that an older mum may be less equipped to cope with the changes - at 40+ she could've set in her ways, be used to her independence, and not have the support of friends around her cos either their kids are grown or they don't want kids in the first place - however clearly that is an absolute load of crap and a complete generalisation that doesn't for a minute apply to all older mums - much like your suggestion that younger mums aren't prepared for the sacrifice or have the patience!!!

 

[Froslass]

My mum has five kids and told me not to have kids past 35 cause you start getting more tired! That's just my mum and by no means a generalisation, but in all honesty, sweeping statements like youve made are ridiculous.

 

[BevG]

i was 30 when i decided to have kids, 31 when i had my first and will be 32 in a month when i have our 2nd, i got married after our first had been 1 yr old and that was perfect for us. there is never a perfect age or right time for these thigns, everyone is different and their bodys age differently and their abilities are different. someone at 20 might be too selfish to devote themselves to a baby (or they may be the most mature and selfless person around) but by 30/40 might have matured and changed into a selfless loving mother whereas someone else might still be a selfish person thats not capable or willing to sacrifice the thigns needed to be a good mum. its all dependant upon a genetic lottery where physical ability is concerned and different personalities as far as anything else is concerned, to say anything else about what age is better is just going to insult someone unnecessarily

 

[BunnyN]

Wow this thread kind of exploded! I think when it comes down to it you cant make generalisations. There are plenty of good young mothers and good older mothers. There are also women who benifit by waiting to have children until they are more emotionally mature and those who have had chidren young and have stuggled because of it. I also know mothers who have had chidren when older and found that a chalenge. All you can really do is look at other peoples experiences and apply that to your own personal circumstances and personality and make the best choice for you.

 

[bellarose3856]

I was (am) 24 and partner 25

 

[Nikkiportia]

34, and i have twelve week old twins. Glad i didnt have them younger than i am, i loved my childless 20s!

 

[tambo1976]

I was 17 when I had my first, 19 when I had my second, 24 when I had my third and 36 when I had my fourth and I love them all exactly the same! What a bloody ridiculous statement.

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[Karate Kid]

Actually, there are many women choose to have a baby in their 30s and 40s. It turns out that their babies are quite healthy. And mothers in 30s and 40s will spare more love to their babies since they know it is not easy.

I'm not sure how you can say women over 30 will spare more love for a child? Are you saying anybody under 30 will love their child less?

Of course all the mother in the world love their kids. What i mean is that it is relatively harder for 40-year-old women to get pregrent, so they may dying for a baby whom they will coddle more carefully and are more willing to accept the changes that come with having a child. They may miss out on traveling or shopping with their girlfriends, but they do not mind as much as many young mothers. Also, parenting ability evolves with age. Raising children can be emotionally and physically taxing and many parents – especially young ones – aren’t completely prepared for the sacrifice and patience it often requires.It is just my personal opinion of the general mums. At least i am not ready to be a qualified mother, and i am 24 years old now.

Sorry I don't buy into this at all. I am 25 C was born when I was 24. He is my world and I don't have an ounce of regret.

'Young ones aren't completely prepared for the sacrifice and patience it often requires'.

This statement is simply inflammatory. I can guarantee that that the majority of 'young mums' are more than happy with the sacrifices motherhood brings. I also think that if you go back a generation 25 was actually the social norm and I can hand on heart say that my mum has patience and has sacrificed so much for me.

 

[TORino]

I was 28-almost 29 when my LO was born.

As she wasn't planned as such, I would have waited a little longer just because I had a few more things I wanted to do and see before having kids. Though having said that, the important things to me were in place i.e. being financially secure and having enough savings to enable me to have a year off, space in my house for a baby etc.

 

[yuku]

I have not expected that some of my personal opinions, maybe unwise, have resulted in so many heated discussion. BevG and BunnyN, thank you guys for relieving the tension in this thread. It seems that some of you gonna kill me for what i am saying. You can disagree with me, but mind your body and do not take any offense at my words so easily. Every mother love their kids and its natural instincts. Hail to the maternal love.

 

[cosmicgirl]

I have not expected that some of my personal opinions, maybe unwise, have resulted in so many heated discussion. BevG and BunnyN, thank you guys for relieving the tension in this thread. It seems that some of you gonna kill me for what i am saying. You can disagree with me, but mind your body and do not take any offense at my words so easily. Every mother love their kids and its natural instincts. Hail to the maternal love.

Eh?

 

[redbear]

I was 22 when I had Alice -- married two year together seven, and 23 when I had my second. Ill just add my brother is 38 and I have been out with some of his friends, one of them the couple have a LO and get so drunk on red wine they fall over with the pram, one lady I know is on a forum is a model parent works at a young mothers place, bf her babies, disposable nappies-- is a massive coke head!!
I also know a lovely older mum who is fab and named her baby after mine (because she is fantastic and so is my LO and she doesn't judge on age)

I am a qualified gas engineer, married with a house, car and savings, we don't drink, we are past all that, infact we are more stable than some 30 year olds I know.

Oh and if you watch the news and take a look at the mums killing there children or kidnapping them etc there not all in the 20's are they and they certainly couldn't cope. --- I know that's a bit extream but you get my point.

Everyone is different and its individual and saying all older mums should cope better and be more loving is a massive insult to all older mums who suffer from pnd.

 

[BunnyN]

I wouldn't really count a 22 year old as a young mum. Our neighbor has 2 children and is still a teenager. She is not a terrible mum but I do believe she would have benefited from being older.

 

[Froslass]

I wouldn't really count a 22 year old as a young mum. Our neighbor has 2 children and is still a teenager. She is not a terrible mum but I do believe she would have benefited from being older.

How can you possibly tell that though?

 

[BunnyN]

I wouldn't really count a 22 year old as a young mum. Our neighbor has 2 children and is still a teenager. She is not a terrible mum but I do believe she would have benefited from being older.

How can you possibly tell that though?

We live in an appartment block with them downstairs from us so we can hear when she yells at her baby for crying etc. I actually think she is a nice girl but it was obviouse she was still a child herself when she had the first (she was only about 14 when she got pregnant). I do admire her and her mother for making the most out of a hard situation but I don't think anyone would argue that she was mature enough to have a baby.

 

[tambo1976]

I wouldn't really count a 22 year old as a young mum. Our neighbor has 2 children and is still a teenager. She is not a terrible mum but I do believe she would have benefited from being older.

How can you possibly tell that though?

We live in an appartment block with them downstairs from us so we can hear when she yells at her baby for crying etc. I actually think she is a nice girl but it was obviouse she was still a child herself when she had the first (she was only about 14 when she got pregnant). I do admire her and her mother for making the most out of a hard situation but I don't think anyone would argue that she was mature enough to have a baby.

She might still be the same when she's in her 30's and 40's though. 14 omg, the dad should have been charged!



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