Tell me this is a phase!

[Mackmummy]

Oscar has never been a good sleeper, he always wakes every 3 or 4 hours and that's if it's a good night. He now also struggles to get to sleep and settle to be yin with, it is taking me up to six hours to get him settled for the night. I do bath bottle bed, same time every night, wind down and reading starts at 6 but he is so knackered he is usually asleep by half past! But he will wake constantly, every 20 or 30 minutes or even every few seconds until I can get him into the cot asleep. I have tried leaving him to cry, letting him settle himself (he's crying at the moment while I'm typing this and it's just getting louder!) he isn't hungry, his teeth don't hurt, he is absolutely knackered but refuses to sleep. I have now even contacted a sleeping specialist, I'm waiting for a call back, anyone used one before?

Once oscar finally settles he will then go 3/4 hours need settling again (usually a bit of milk) then go another 3/4 hours. I'm so fed up of it.

 

[StaceyRainbow]

Sorry your having a rough time, could he maybe be too warm? I found that even when I thought stanley was a bit cold he wasn't he was too warm it's only cos now he can get out of his blankets and lie on top of them do I know that he's too warm.
We are having a bad time too for the last couple of months after sleeping through he doesn't really settle well anymore and wakes through the night not to the extent oscar is but I know its frustrating and you feel helpless.
They do go through a 4 month sleep regression, stanley was a bad sleeper for a couple of weeks but settled again. So that could have an effect also his already unsettled sleep could be further disrupted. .
Do you have the wonder weeks app? I found it very useful especially in the first 6-7 months,

 

[T84]

Mackmummy you actually deserve a medal! It's hard enough for me that my hubby works shifts but yours is away most of the time. Your doing such a great job! No advice cos I clearly can't sort my own issues judging by my thread lol!

 

[Mackmummy]

I don't put the blankets on him as I can tell it annoys him and the room temp is perfect apparently! It has been cooler and warmer before and it's made no difference. I have the wonder weeks app it is good but doesn't help me get him to sleep! Ha ha. I've brought him downstairs now he can watch crap telly with me all night! I've given up on any routine now, it doesn't work he must be too young and that's that.

 

[StaceyRainbow]

Do you settle him upstairs or down? I bring my LO after his bath for his bottle then up to bed. Will he fall asleep if you cuddle or rock him then place him in his cot?
What are his naps like. Through the day? Sometimes I let stanley nap as late as 6pm when he was that age but he went to bed at 7:30. What about trying a nap around 6 when he's nakerd then when he wakes start he's routine after that?
Just trying to think of other suggestions for you

 

[fcroxy]

I'm sorry your having a tough time. From day one harper was a terrible sleeper, as a newborn she would wake every 2-3 hours for a feed and this went on until she was 5-6 months. Most nights would take me hours to get her to sleep and she regularly woke 1-2am for a few hours thinking it was time to play. I was exhausted, a walking zombie, and really struggled at times.

When the 4 month sleep regression hit her she was even worse, on bad nights she was up 18-20 times a night. I kept a diary of how often she woke, how I managed to get her back to sleep ie feeding, rocking etc.

I tried everything I could, white noise, controlled crying (but it wasn't for me so didn't do it for long), feeding to sleep, pushing in the pram in her bedroom. Nothing made much difference and in the end I just went with the flow. I'm not gonna lie, it was tough, but I got to the stage where I believed she would sleep better when she was ready.

Around 9-10 months she started to sleep better, only waking 2-3 times a night. Now she's 13.5 months she generally sleeps 7pm-7.30am, waking occasionally 11pm and 4-5am. Some nights she won't wake at all, others like tonight and last night she's woken a few times in the evening but soon settled and slept until morning.

I never tried a sleep specialist so no advice on that.

Sorry for rambling on, it's not much help really. I don't even know if it makes sense? But what I'm trying to say is that it will get better. It doesn't seem it when it's happening (trust me, I thought harper wouldn't sleep until she was at school!) but one day he will surprise you. I hope you find something that works for you and your LO x

 

[fcroxy]

I don't put the blankets on him as I can tell it annoys him and the room temp is perfect apparently! It has been cooler and warmer before and it's made no difference. I have the wonder weeks app it is good but doesn't help me get him to sleep! Ha ha. I've brought him downstairs now he can watch crap telly with me all night! I've given up on any routine now, it doesn't work he must be too young and that's that.

I can't see tickers so don't know how old he is but we didn't have a proper established routine for harper until she was 6-7 months, and even now it can vary. In the early days I use to find it near impossible to stick to a routine when her feeding and sleeping was all over the place x

 

[Mackmummy]

The usual routine is at six I take him upstairs and change him in his no bedroom, read in the rocker in his bedroom while he is on my knee, he generally starts rubbing his eyes and moaning because he is tired so I give him his milk and he falls asleep while I'm holding him. He won't self settle at all I've tried till I am blue in the face, I have tried leaving him cry, I just did that and he was hysterical! Coughing and spluttering then it takes ages to calm him. Tonight he had a nap at five he just nodded off but was only a quick cat nap. His naps aren't the best either, he just won't sleep for any longer than 20/30 minutes, I'm lucky to get 40 minutes out of him and at best he will have three short naps during the day.

 

[Lilmisshopeful]

I would agree with the medal front hun. You really are doing amazing. You could always try my set in stone routine. When Oliver tells me he wants to sleep he sleeps when he tells me he wants to be awake he is awake lol. I'm going with his flow rather than making him go with mine if that makes sense. He still has a night feed and sometimes 2 depending what time he crashes out. He won't sleep at night without swaddling tho it's a comfort thing I think. I'm finding me sleeping around his plans mean I'm not so tired and now he is almost in a routine. He goes down anywhere between 7-830 and wakes as an when in the night lol normally about 2 and 6 ish he naps in the day when he wants. His mornings are the only set routine and that's up at 7:30 fruit at 8 with fireman Sam lol one thing I have found is bath time wakes him up as it's fun maybe try skipping that. He will sleep through soon enough hun it won't last forever and your doing amazing. Just look at his adorable smile and it will help you through.

My daughter was the worst sleeper like ever oscar x2 like terrible and I got through with her in the end xxx

 

[Mackmummy]

I don't bath him every night, natural oils n'all that, I think I am gong to sack the routine thing, it's just too stressful. I'm up and down constantly and oscar just cries a lot. He's lying on his pod on the couch with me now and at least he's happier, he's knackered, but he's happier! I just hope he does nod off at some point! I'm not going to let him lie in tomorrow I'm getting him up at 8 see if that changes anything. It's only recently he's started doing another sleep from 8-10 in the morning but I'm going to stop it and get him to nap later and hopefully for longer!

 

[fcroxy]

Harper use to also only have short 30 min naps in the day. Where does he nap? I started putting harper to nap in her pram and when I noticed her stirring just before waking I would push the pram for a few mins and she generally went back to sleep for longer. Not ideal place to nap and I had to do this for a month or two but once she got use to napping for longer she was then able to nap in her cot for longer too. She then cut down to 1-2 naps a day and it was much more easier and she was happier as she wasn't so tired x

 

[Mackmummy]

He naps on his pod or in his pram if we are out and about but even with pushing him for a long walk I don't get past the 40 minute mark!

 

[flisstebbs]

I don't bath him every night, natural oils n'all that, I think I am gong to sack the routine thing, it's just too stressful. I'm up and down constantly and oscar just cries a lot. He's lying on his pod on the couch with me now and at least he's happier, he's knackered, but he's happier! I just hope he does nod off at some point! I'm not going to let him lie in tomorrow I'm getting him up at 8 see if that changes anything. It's only recently he's started doing another sleep from 8-10 in the morning but I'm going to stop it and get him to nap later and hopefully for longer!

I am mummy to a terrible sleeper too.

Now at 14 months things are much much better, but I think a year ago, I could have written your posts. At 5 months I did see a sleep consultant. It did help a bit but I never felt she "got" us or how to fix things. Best thing I did was use the babysleepsite and had some email support (its pretty cheap comparatively) and been really helpful.

Like Oscar, at this stage, evening settling would take hours of me being upstairs. Daytime sleeping was a nightmare, I'd have to take her out walking to even get 30mins here and there. Her record for being awake was once 16 hours!!!

The best advice I can give you is try to ignore too much of the "advice" from everyone who feels what works for their baby will work for yours. Jess used to get worse if I left her crying not settle within 20mins like some do. Once we started doing what we felt was right, things have been easier, although our household is still "sleep light" it is a million times better than before. Its just hard when you feel like you are staring weeks and months of poor sleep in the face. Shamelessly call in for help and take all offers!

Good luck and sending you

 

[Ams1985]

What's a typical day like? At 4 months or so haydn woke around 5 and that was it normally Id be up for the day! By bed time he'd have a bath, massage, milk and then we'd have to hold him sort of bouncin and shhh-ing for at least 30 minutes before he'd calm and nod off and then he might wake a couple of times before we went up to bed and then in the night for a feed or two. It's so knackering and much worse because you're dealing with him on your own.

Do you use a dummy? I really didn't want to but in the end it has helped.

I'd say it's only in the last couple of months that he's been able to drift off on his own if I lay him down and leave him so I don't think it would have worked before then, generally if he cried before that it's becuse he wanted something, even if it was just a cuddle. So don't stress to much about routine or self settling etc x

 

[Kiagirl]

Have you tried a hot water bottle. That really helped us when we hit a bad patch. It seemed to make her go into a deep sleep so slept longer. X

 

[beckyboo1]

I am the mummy to a bad sleeper.. Even at 2.5 he still isn't the best.

If it's killing you stickin to a routine, I'd sack it off- don't make your life as a mummy any harder than it needs to be

There's plenty of time to get into a proper bedtime routine before you need to get worried. My hubby worked away quite a bit when my boy was young, and after nights of beating myself up, I have in and just did what suited us both

Am I right in thinking oscar's around 4 months? There is a sleep regression around this time. Also - have you had a look at the wonder weeks! (Google it!) It has lots of answers as to when babies will go through leaps (basically phases of development)

Hopefully it'll give you an idea that what is happening is completely normal!!

 

[Lilmisshopeful]

The good thing about no routine is you don't notice when it's not going to plan. If there's no rules none are broken.

My daughter was a nightmare. We have a photo of her standing on the sofa at about 18 months and I put the clock there as was gone 1am and she was full of energy. I always thought the end was never in sight. But how many adults do you know who cry and kick up a fuss at bedtime lol. He will get there xxx

 

[littlemonkey]

First off sack off the routine! I know so many people who swear by it helping their LOs sleep better, but it's not for everyone. A bath got my LO too excited before bed when he was younger and he was always rough the nights he had one close to bedtime. We never did a bath bottle bed routine and he always slept fine at night. Napping on the other hand he was awful and I drove myself insane following every experts advice about how to get him into a routine to nap better. What made me feel a lot better was just jibbing it all off and doing what worked that day as long as it got us through the day.

I know youve mentioned previously problems with your son and possible reflux, milk allergy etc. How is he with this as it could be effecting his sleeping? Once we got our LOs reflux sorted out his napping improved significantly and I do believe he was having problems due to discomfort.

My only other advice on what helped with his sleeping was swaddling and a dummy. Walks in the pram and drives in the car aren't really practical at 1am I'm afraid!

I do hope you have a positive experience with the sleep specialist too.

 

[iWitch]

Have you watched him to see what's waking him? Austin had a very bad startle reflex so we got the love to dream swaddle & that really helped. Still wouldn't self settle tho. I came to the conclusion that because I'd read so much of other babies doing it on here that I was following what they were doing rather than what suited austin. I started putting him on our bed to sleep & laid at the side of him giving him his dream sheep to cuddle & move him to his cot. Once we'd got this nailed I put pillows round him (before he could roll) & sat outSide our bedroom & waited for him to settle then moved him to his cot. He didn't seem to like settling in his cot but once he got the hang of settling on our bed I moved him into his cot & following my bump buddy I tried my own version of cc. He goes off on his own but he still wakes occasionally through the night but it's literally usually for a dummy. Sometimes he requires more

 

[Mackmummy]

Oscars feeding is ok now, he's on lactose free so no reflux or anything, a lot less wind too. I've woken him up earlier today and am trying to do a stricter nap routine. I tried to sack the routine last jug th and he didn't sleep until 2.30! Then was up at 6.30 then started to stir at 8 so I woke him anyway! Hopefully better naps today will help tonight!