Suddenly Started Freaking Out!

[snag]

Well I had a really horrible night last night and I'm not quite sure why!

I didn't get to sleep until about 5am because I wasn't feeling too great - i.e. I felt a bit sick on and off plus the baby was constantly kicking me all night which he only usually does during the day! Also, I can't tell you the amount of times I had to get up to go the toilet (just passing urine) and then my back started hurting. I actually started to wonder if I was about to go into premature labour (I'm 24 weeks' pregnant)! I have also felt seriously anxious since yesterday evening and like there's loads of adrenaline surging round my body. I accept that I'm naturally an anxious person anyway but recently I have been quite calm especially as I've been working really hard on practising yoga and doing hypnotherapy/meditation in order that I can keep calm for my baby and to try and help myself out during the labour process (something which I'm really scared of).

I've kind of lost all my confidence again over the whole labour thing and looking after the baby because of the way I pretty lost control of my mind and couldn't calm myself down last night. How on earth am I going to cope when I go into labour and afterwards, how will I keep calm when the baby comes into this world?! I'm also really scared that I'm going to be sick throughout labour (I have a sickness phobia).

I still feel really anxious today and I don't understand why. I also feel all tearful but I suppose that's not helped by the fact that I'm so tired. I really can't bear the thought of going into work tomorrow and I just don't know what to do!

Sorry for the rant!

 

[Sarah13]

I think we all get days like the one you've had, try to stick with the relaxation techniques they sound like they are helping. I'm worried about labour too and being sick etc but as long as you make things known in your birth plan of the phobia they won't give you drugs you don't want that might have nasty side effects such as throwing up. Your prob same as me and more worried about being sick than the pain! On a positive note I don't know anyone who was sick in labour including me when I had my daughter, gas and air made me feel sick so I refused it after one puff and made do with a tens machine! It's also amazing how you cope with a baby when you think you don't have a clue, I'm The least maternal person ever and my daughter has turned out great! I'm so not maternal my 2 best mates are in total shock I'm pregnant and baby was planned, they really can't believe it! I'm sure you will be a great mum and will cope fine, do you have family and friends to help you out in those first few weeks?

 

[snag]

Thanks Sarah. I know if you can do it I can do it too! And yes, you're absolutely right, I'm more scared of throwing up during labour (or worse, when the baby is finally handed to me!!) than the actual pain itself!! Stupid isn't it?!

I have let the midwives know about my sickness phobia and I'll be making sure that Pethidine is definately NOT on my list of drugs as I've heard that often causes sickness. Like you I think I will use a TENS machine and try not to have an epidural but we shall see!

Unfortunately my parents live in Suffolk (I live in Surrey) so they're a good 2 hours' drive or so away although my Mum is always on the other end of the phone of course. The rest of my family live in Portugal so that's not much good either! I do have some good friends but they live about 45 mins away or more (I moved when I met my husband) so I guess I do feel a little isolated here. I'm a bit shy and don't find it easy to make new friends so it's difficult. I am, however, going to go to NCT classes in May so hopefully I may make some friends there that are in the local area. Fingers crossed!

This might sound weird but I also hate being the centre of attention so the thought of loads of people coming to see me and the baby when it's born also makes me highly anxious!

 

[Sarah13]

I'm sure you will find some new friends from the classes and even some of the mum and baby things afterwards will be a good place to meet people in a similar situation. My family are 8 hours drive away so know how that feels, have got a few close friends here lucky though. I'm thinking about a home birth to help with feeling relaxed, obviously got a while to think about that though!