stressed or depressed ?

[katiesmummy]

Hi Ladies,

I have been trying to avoid posting a long boring post about this but dont know who else to ask ! I had a miserable first pregancy due to health problems and alot of stress and had been so looking forward to enjoying this one ! Got caught up in a bit of red tape with the nhs and wasnt expecting a scan for a few weeks but my lovely midwife sorted it out in a hurry and I got one yesterday It was lovely and all looked good with baby, only 11 weeks so I get another scan in two weeks too. However somethings happened since the scan. I dont know if it jsut brought home that its real or brought back the nightmares of last time around but I cant stop worrying and crying and cant work out if its just stress or if I should be talking to someone.

I was a student during last pregnancy and was at uni up until the day before I gave birth. I got a crash csection and then was back in at uni and sitting exams a week later. I've since started my own business and will have no mat leave again as I cant afford to pay someone to do my job and obviously cant afford to lose business either. I will be able to do part time hours I think but still not sure how I'll cope with dd and baby with no real break at home to be with them properly. On top of worrying about this I cant stop thinking about how I'll cope alone. DH was also a student last time around and I really took it for granted that he was there to help so much but he's now working fulltime in a high pressure job and I dont have a clue if I can even do it by myself. Then there's all the usual worries about whether baby will be ok, if I'll hold up ok healthwise this time etc. We only have a two bedroomed house and I'm already wondering if I should try to find money to convert the loft into a bedroom for us so they have their own rooms as panicking about bed times, leaving a baby in a room with a toddler (obviously not for months).

Will stop ranting but I'm sure you get the picture, every I think of is panicking me and leaving me in tears. I really want to know if this is just stress/hormones or if I'm depressed as now I'm stressing that I am !

Sorry for the long post but hoping someone has some insight.

 

[BellaRiven]

......and Breath....



I think pregnancy hormones have a lot to do with how we feel and how we act sometimes, and I am told that every pregnancy is different no one pregnancy is ever the same.

Have you tried any breathing exercises when you feel the panic coming on?, maybe try and take 5 minutes to calm down and slow down.

If your OH will be there in the evenings and weekends you will not be doing this alone, they will still be there for support at those times and others, my OH works full time as well but he will be around evenings and weekends , How involved is he at the moment with scans and things? My OH can only make scans and even that is a lot to ask sometimes. Do you have anyone around that can help you at all? any family? rely on them if need be

try to forget how bad your last pregnancy was, focus on this one and how good it could potentially be and take it one day at a time.

xxx

 

[AndreaJayne]

Hey hun, it sounds like your really stressing yourself out. I am a worrier too but you cant worry about something which hasn't happened yet, i gave myself a talking to as I was worrying about everything who is allowed to give my baby sweets, panicing about people doing things I am not comfortable with etc and I just thought, none of this has happened yet, relax enjoy being pregnant and deal with every situation as it arises things may not turn out to be as bad as you think, baby will prob be in a moses basket for 6 months or so, I think our hormones also tend to multiply things. One thing I do know is that as humans in life no matter what situation is thrown at us our natural instinct is to cope and somehow we always do xxxx
Dont worry yourself hun

 

[winnie89]

hey hun i agree with the girls, getting stressed out is not doing you or the baby any good, as bella riven said have you got any family or even close friends that can help you out when you need them to, i'm a natural worrier aswell and before i had my 12 week scan i'd got it into my head, that i wasn't really pregnant and i was going to loose this one like i lost the last one (i had a miscarige at 19 and i was 6 weeks pregnant) but you learn to relax and not let things get to you, everyone is different and every pregnancy is different. you need to talk to someone about your worries because keeping it bottled up is not good. i've found that the ladies on here are very understanding and if you need to talk and vent just let it out no one is going to judge you for worrying about your future xxx

 

[katiesmummy]

Thank you very much for the replies, I honestly have felt like I'm losing my mind ! DH took the day off today, booked me a massage and facial and arranged lunch for me with friends while he watched Katie and although I'm completely shattered I do feel a lot better ! These posts have been the icing on the cake as its so nice to have someone else think this is stress and not depression. A family member got into a really bad way with depression throughout her pregnancy and I think that the worry of if it was happening to me too has been getting to me over the past few days. My lovely day has definitely helped reduce the stress and I have written down all reasons that every panicky thought I've had is irrational so hopefully if it starts again I can read that and calm myself down ! I even find it amusing that other pregnant women can talk to me about hormones and I find it comforting but if anyone else mentions the word I bite their head off...which is the first thing I've found funny in days !

Hopefully this has been a little blip that is coming to an end but I really appreciate the responses and will definitely vent to you lovely ladies some more if it returns ! I've never really used a forum before but have got to say this has been so valuable as it was so much easier to blurt it out here...and realise I was being ridiculous about it !...than it was to talk to DH or other friends that I usually talk to about anything. Funny what pregnancy does to us !

Thanks once again for the responses, it is really appreciated ! xxx