I really do feel for you, i didnt have stitches and i was still scared to look down there or touch it, even now i coudln't tell you what it's like. I also remember urintating was extremely painful and a dreaded it, but that was due to an infection
I think childbirth itself will affect how you feel about that area, regardless of how your labour went. You really do seem to be having a rough time but you will heal down there soon enough and by the sounds of it you wont really notice where the stitches were.
I hope your BFing's getting easier too, oh and Happy one month to Evie for tomorrow!!
I would add a huge amount of hugs but my computer still wont let me use the smilies