Still Very Numb... Or not

[happy-chick]

Hi Guys,

I wasnt sure whether to post in my original topic or create a new one so I created a new one!

As many of you have read I had a miscarriage confirmed on saturday and I am still misscarrying now, I have cryed but still feel very very numb at the moment and wondered is this normal. I seem to have put a block on my emotions, do you think this is as im still miscarrying?

Also I would like a date to remember when my angel passed away but im not sure how I determine that, that probably sounds really silly!

Thanks xxx

 

[kimisgirl]

Hi hun,

It's not silly at all, I went through all of that in my mind. Because when I found out I thought I was 10weeks +1day, but they said the sac had stopped growing at 8 weeks. and it's made even more complicated now by the fact that it was an anembryonic Pregnancy which means it was only a fertilised egg for about 2 weeks. I'm sure there is no right and wrong answer to the question it's personal to how you feel.

I have chosen just to say to people that we lost the baby at 8 weeks, but on here I will refer to it as Blighted ovum discovered at 10weeks. (can you imagine trying to explain what that is to Joe Bloggs)

As for your emotions, I found that just the shock and numbness got me through the process but once I passed the 'product' I got really bad baby blues for a few days and thats when it hit me. You will have good and bad days, just remember we are here for you.

big hugs hun xx aine

 

[SarahB]

 

[Happybunny]

Hi Chick!

I just wated to give you a big hug! You will be going through a whole host of feelings and emotions that will be stronger some days than others. Your body is going through some quite big changes both physically and mentally....it will take a little while before you can begin to feel 'normal'...but you will begin to feel normal again, I promise.

Don't feel like you have to get over it by a certain date either...different people take different times to come to terms with their loss. I know there can be a pressure to think 'Well it is 3 or 4 weeks since, everyone thinks I should be over it by now.' Only you will know when you really feel ok.

This has only just happened....give yourself some space and time....you will get through this though and we will help you in any way we can!!

Lots of love
Michelle
xxxxx

 

[Happybunny]

Hi honey...just read your pm...sorry I am so rubbish at remembering to check them!! I pm'd you too

As for dates (I forgot to mention above) I went for the day I began to bleed. I think most people do!

Lots of hugs
M
xxxxxxx

 

[fynemum]

Aw Sweetheart, sorry your still going through this
I Believe that our babies are our babies until someone/ Hospital or nature tells us we have lost them...
So I was told when I went for the scan after some spotting that my baby had lost his heartbeat....that is the day my baby was lost to me....it did happen a few days earlier due to food poison but I still hold the day he was lost to me as the scan day...conformation day if you like... I hope this helps

Take care doll your not alone, in our thoughts lv Yvonne xx

 

[Alfiesmummy]

firstly hun im so sorry your going through this.
I found when i was losing my angel i tried to shut off as much as i could, i felt as if i wasnt in the room that it wasnt happening and quite calm one minute and hysterical the next. It is normal to go through different stages and feelings, its part of grief, i hope it is all over for you soon hun and you can start to look forward, easier said than done i know babe but we are all here for those times you need to cry or talk, and need cheering up,
take care and all my love hun

 

[happy-chick]

I think its hit me good and proper!
I havent stopped crying all day and the sadness & emptyness is unbearable.

Im having good moments and bad moments, bursting into tears at the tinyest thing today.

My friend came around earlier with a huge bunch of flowers and some cards from 4 of my friends, I cried so much but happy tears! Its so nice to know people care about me, it helps that little bit.

My fella has been so supportive, i feel kinda guilty that his feeling seemt o have been put aside but we have talked and he understands that i need him to be strong for the moment. I've just sent him to the pub as he wouldnt go and watch football cos he didnt want to leave me.... he deserves a break bless him!

That was a bit of a mumble, i feel thats all im doing at the moment nothing seems to make sense! I suppose my hormones wont be helping there either.

x x x

 

[Happybunny]

I really understand. Poor you It is really good to cry..don't feel silly! I think you have been processing everything that has been happening over the last few days and today everything has finally hit home. It is so sad to go through a day like you have had today, but it is importnant to let things out...bottling feelings is never healthy. I am sending you some more hugs sweetie and I hope tomorrow has a little more sunshine for you.

A miscarriage can be so devastating, but if anything good can come from it, it is that it can bring you closer to your partner. It is wonderful your OH has been so supportive. I don't think I would have got through last month with out mine either. You are right about feeling a burden, I felt my OH was like a 'carer' for a few weeks, rather than my partner. But they are going through a loss too...it is more difficult for them to mainfest their grief because they feel detached from the physical motions of a miscarriage. Don't worry about being a burden, your partner clearly loves you and is hurting because you are hurting, he really wants to be there for you. Keep reassuring him that you love him and tell him how much you appreciate him. You are not pushing him away, you are forging even stronger bonds. He sounds wonderful.

Lots of love to you
Michelle
xx

 

[tracey 2]

i know its a bit late but i hope you are ok and wan to send you lots of hugs