Starting to fight a lot

[star fish]

Am in tears again, all this is so not good for the baby, and I wondered if anyone else was going through it?

My husband is really starting to resent me being at home and doing nothing. He works ridiculously long hours as a chef, about 60 hrs a week, and its a really pressured stressful job as well, and he comes home highly strung out and tired and starts on me. What have I been doing all day? Why hasnt this been done or that? He's a bit ocd so he starts cleaning the house (which i thought was already tidy) at midnight, then he sits down to eat at 1 am, then has to be up again at 7.30.

I know he's being totally unreasonable, but I feel desperately sorry for the extra pressure I am putting him under. Unfortunately my hormones are so high that if he shouts at me I respond and yell back. Last night i threw the entire fruit bowl accross the room and the apples exploded and made the mess 100 times worse!

Is anyone else going through this? How do I make it better? I really want to be the perfect housewife but I'm not, I'm rubbish, and I'm sooooo tired that I just seem to sit here and cry about it, which isnt helpful!

 

[Princess81]

I can sympathise. My o/h is very anal about cleaning and he works away all week. When he's home and things aren't as he'd have them he does whine. He's tried to kerb it after my labour cos I'm supposed to take it easy but I know it gets to him that my standards aren't quite as high (ie washing my doors and cupboards every week) I don't even know what to suggest to you because it's only him that can lighten up about it

 

[suzzi]

what is with men an ocd, my oh the same x x he comes home to a clean house, but he will find something to clean and it makes me feel ive done nothing.

 

[Hunnie]

My OH constantly comments on how "lazy" I am but he doesn't seem to understand how tiring this pregnancy thing is. I dont really know what to suggest other than how about one day make a massive effort for him and make everything really obvious that you've done stuff and make it so he has to sit down and chill out. It might just be that he's at a breaking point atm and everything is getting to him and after one night away from him feeling stressed he will go back to normal again? :/

 

[star fish]

You are so right, I need to try to do some housework today........ Any minute now I'll get up off the sofa............

 

[Princess81]

Have you seen the 20 minute challenge thread in girlies room? It's good. Work your butt off on something for 20 mins during each hour, then chill for 40

 

[ISH]

I can tell I'm hormonal, because I want to give your OH a sound shaking!!! Next time he's pregnant, let's see how he copes. Hmph!

 

[Princess81]

 

[Cazza]

My OH is OCD too - he has a bleach obsession!!!! (I blame the RAF!!!)

I have been trying to get stuff done on my days off - it takes me practically all day to walk the dogs, feed the dogs, hoover, steam and change dog beds!!! Like Princess says above, I do some, sit and watch the craft channels for half an hour, do some more etc etc

I do however think it's 'that time' when all our stresses and worries are reaching their peak as the dawning reality of whats about to happen hits us..................and I don't just mean us ladies!!!

 

[positivity :)]

where are all these lazy men who don't give a sh*t about tidying up - mine is a total clean freak and has often hoovered after me coz i apparently dont do it well enough!!! he is totally OCD!!! so bloody annoying!

star, sounds like your OH is feeling the pressure but he needs to realise its not your fault xxxxxxxxx

 

[kerry5a]

Rolfl Ish! I work but Mine comes in and looks around to see what's been done when he gets in from football Sunday but never say's anything and that's bad enough! I would have chucked the fruit bowl at him if it was me lol x I set myself an hour a room..if it only takes 30 min I'll sit down for the rest of the Hour...works for me x

 

[titch]

your OH is going to have a right shock when LO arrives. Im sorry but I didnt have time to eat, shower, get dressed before OH got home from work at 6pm when we had a newborn. Forget all the housework, it wasnt going to happen. I considered it an achievement if I cleaned up every last bit of vomit from the carpets before he got in.

I think you need to prepare your husband for what life is going to be like, and please please do not try to be the perfect housewife, you cant be superwoman, being pregnant and having a newborn is hard work on its own.

 

[ISH]

My OH is OCD too - he has a bleach obsession!!!! (I blame the RAF!!!)

I have been trying to get stuff done on my days off - it takes me practically all day to walk the dogs, feed the dogs, hoover, steam and change dog beds!!! Like Princess says above, I do some, sit and watch the craft channels for half an hour, do some more etc etc

I do however think it's 'that time' when all our stresses and worries are reaching their peak as the dawning reality of whats about to happen hits us..................and I don't just mean us ladies!!!

You steam dog beds, how does that work? I have a bad habit of chucking a bed every few months, when white doggy soils it very badly.

 

[Binzy]

Being pregnant is knackering, I was all over the shop and spent a lot of time crying and getting angry at oh for any old reason, though luckily not about cleaning. I regularly threw things around and behaved like Kevin the teenager. However now LO is 2 months old my flat is a tip and looking after Ryan takes so long, hence why I am writing this at 3am.
You need to set your oh straight that unless you are blessed with a miracle baby (and I really hope you are) Housework is not a priority, your health and sanity are however

 

[misscrazycooki]

I have it with mine, he is a clean freak I stopped trying to fight him. Said to him look if I do it so wrong then I won't do it at all and left it for him. I do help out now and again. But if he is that arsed about it just tell him your tired and baking his baby and that takes energy x Let him do it and ignore him. He will soon chill out once he realises it will still be there the next day plus when baby gets here you won't have much time to do much cleaning either x

 

[knopk@]

My DH was getting annoyed about the mess in the beginning but now is more relaxed about it, we do have rounds of tidying and the cleaner fortnightly but I am blessed with a reflux baby who wants to be held all the time or otherwise screams.
He will have to realise housework is not a priority

 

[star fish]

Thanks girls, I do try to tell him that it will be 10 x worse when we have a baby, and he gets stressed just thinking about it and does more cleaning to calm himself down! I just hope me and the baby dont cause him a nervous breakdown. I'm guess I should at least clean all my dishes away before he gets home tonight, but I have done nothing today but sit on the sofa and eat as I'm so tired and aching.

I just wish I could find the energy to go and make the bed, and put out the wet laundry and empty the dishwasher and bring in the bins and all the things I promised I would do today and havent! You've all said exactly the right things but I still feel hugely guilty that he's been at work since 9.30 am and wont get in til midnight and I havent done anything!!

Is there some energy drug I could take? Or should I drag my self around the house trying to do it? Or should I just wait for the inevitable argument?

 

[Sam's Mum]

I think you should find a huge bag, fill it with rocks and strap it to his belly, wedge a melon between his thighs, find a small racoon or something to shove up his top where it'll wriggle all day, and make him down a pint of water filled with sleeping tablets every couple of hours, then tell him to try cleaning the house. Oh, and poke about at his vertebrae too for a bit of added discomfort.

 

[titch]

^^^ yes do that!!!

 

[star fish]