slow positive steps?

[k8_005]

well had my "postnatal bereavement" appointment today with the consultant obsteotrician (sp!?) it wasnt a counselling session as i thought it would be she hadnt read the notes as when i said about last time she said "oh dear, i didnt realise this was the second time the same thing had happened. "and then when i said about taking folic acid first time and then high dosage second she said"i didnt know you had already been on high dosage folic acid either- as far as i know thats all you can do to prevent it anyway. its very rare to happen once let alone twice" (all of which we already knew) she was nice just missinformed. she did say she was sorry for our loss and did say that on rare occasions it can be genetic but is very unusal ( i thought well if its unusual to happen twice what harm can it do to test for a rarety!?) i said how we dont want to just try again until we have spoken with someone more specialised in aneacaphaly and its causes because we cant face this continuously happening if there is no hope of a healthy baby at teh end of it and she said she thinks the best thing is to be refferrred through to genetics now and they can do genetic and chromosome testing then if that doesnt satisfy a reason/at least rule out some bits then we can be refferred to london. im happy with the outcome as she is at least refferring us. not sure quite why we had to go to the antenatal clinic to have the appoint though i have to say that was emotionally pretty tough as its the same place we went each time were told it had all gone wrong. but am quite pleased at myself i didnt cry once while there (i cried last night on way home from work though thinking about it all) i think this is a positive step forward. i guess i just have to wait for that appointment now and see what they say. i almost want it to be a genetic thing so i have an answer if its not then its "bad luck" and we should just try again, im not sure how many times i can go through with it though i think having spoken to tom we have said we could do it again but not sure about a 4th time if it went wrong next time, as 3 times really does set a pattern. no one seems to have statistics on how likely it is to happen again (the interent says varaious things) though it seems the general consensus is very rare and unlikely...but the more times it happens the more likely it is to happen the next time. sorry just realyl using the forum to voice my thoughts today... hope no one minds. xx

 

[CARNAT22]

At least you are some way to getting some answers? Shame to lady you saw sounds like a complete plank!

I think the genetics testing may be a good thing hun? You may not find out the cause but as you say you can rule certain things out.

I am so sorry that you've had to go through so much crap hun.

I really do feel for us women that cope with everything we do, when all we want is a sticky bean

xxxxxxxxxxx

 

[k8_005]

At least you are some way to getting some answers? Shame to lady you saw sounds like a complete plank!

I think the genetics testing may be a good thing hun? You may not find out the cause but as you say you can rule certain things out.

I am so sorry that you've had to go through so much crap hun.

I really do feel for us women that cope with everything we do, when all we want is a sticky bean

xxxxxxxxxxx

yes i dont think she meant to be incosiderate or uninformed and im sure she is busy but i said to tom, could she not have read my notes first?! come on it wouldnt take too long surely?! still all a start i know im "lucky" because at least i know why im loosing my babys as opposed to those of you who mc without reason or have mmc, but its still hard, i hope that this is the start to finding out why the condition keeps happening.

 

[dyscochick]

hun I'm so glad she at least referred you, she totally should have looked at your notes in advance. I think genetic testing is def the way forward because the fact that it is rare requires investigating and is the very reason genetic testing is available! you should be top of the list with 2 rare incidences. if they can rule it out fab, if it is genetic then they might be able to offer you embryo selection and ivf, which means they can screen embryos for the genetic abnormality and only implant those that haven't got it. I don't much about this, but its called preimplantation genetic diagnostics I think (or something like that). Knowing why you are loosing them is a double edge sword I'm sure, and well done for coping with the whole thing in ante natal etc! xxx

 

[Nurse 26]

Hey hun, glad to hear you are getting referred, hate it when you go to an appointment and they haven't bothered to read your notes or find out why you are there hope you get the bloods done soon. When me and hubby had them done they took 6 weeks to get results as they have to grow them in the lab or something, really hope you can get some answers

Xxx