Scan date, rant needed

Discussion in 'Coping with Miscarriage & Loss' started by ClaireDoll, Jun 28, 2016.

  1. ClaireDoll

    ClaireDoll Well-Known Member

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    So today would have been my first scan. I would have been 14 weeks, I'm feeling really down and lonely today, like no one cares at all. We lost our little peanut at 6 1/2 weeks. We had got a bit over excited when we first found out we were expecting and told family and friends as we had been trying for 2 1/2 years to get our Bfp. It's maybe irrational for people to have remembered today would have been first scan but when my friends and sister in law were pregnant I kept a note of all important dates. Just even a wee text to see how you are! Not even sure if hubby has realised, I haven't brought it up as I feel like he knows and just isn't wanting to talk about it again and I don't want to start having a meltdown! Just needed to moan and get it off my chest to someone to be able to keep moving on.
     
  2. MissCharli

    MissCharli Well-Known Member

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    I'm really sorry to hear that :( Your hubby is probably just being a typical man, I'm sure if you let him know how bad you were feeling he would give you much more support. It's difficult for them, because it isn't their body, and he may not have said anything to you because he doesn't want to upset you.

    Everyone else? I guess its probably the same thing. I mced at 6 weeks too, but I had told 2 close friends and my mums side of the family and no one talks to me about it now. I think only I realise that I should be 25 weeks now :/ There seems to be a taboo around mc, and afterwards people just tiptoe around it. If you do ever wanna talk you can always message me :)
     
  3. MrsS15

    MrsS15 Well-Known Member

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    I'm so sorry Claire. I think we remember all these details but they go unnoticed by others! With my first m/c in November I would have been due about now, and no one remembered. I'm in a group chat with my sisters and they're talking and showing pictures of a family friend who had her baby this week. Not even thought for a second how it'd stab me in the heart! I've been so down this week and people just don't get it. I totally understand the excitement and why you told people, you don't need to feel bad about doing that. We told a few people too! When I got pregnant again we didn't tell anyone but I m/c then too and tbh, I still had to end up telling people I was pregnant but had m/c anyway (I missed my nephews birthday party etc). There's never a right or wrong thing to do! I'd now be getting or just had my first scan with the second m/c and I feel that alongside my other due date. I don't know if it ever goes away! We're on month 15 and it is heartbreaking. I really hope you're okay hun, come talk to us any time xx (I'm from Glasgow too!)
     
    #3 MrsS15, Jul 8, 2016
    Last edited: Jul 8, 2016
  4. KateK

    KateK Well-Known Member

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    I'm really sorry you've felt so let down :( I hate to say it but being honest with myself i'm not sure i'd have noted all my friends' important dates etc.. I have a friend who recently had an mmc so this has prompted me to put when she would have been due in my diary so she doesn't feel let down in the same way. Hope you're ok, can't imagine what you've been through xx
     
  5. ClaireDoll

    ClaireDoll Well-Known Member

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    Thanks for your kind words girls it was just what I needed, the witch got me a couple of days after I posted this I think I had major PMS which wasn't helping matters! I did say to Hubby about it and you were right Charli, he did know but was 'walking on eggshells' not mentioning it to make things worse. Had a wee cry and a cuddle together and feel much better about everything now, I've came to realise that I put a lot more effort into some friendships than I necessarily get back, it's just one of those things isn't it! Kate I think your friend will really appreciate that! Mrs S I fully sympathise with your situation, I feel like that's all I've had since the miscarriage, people showing off their bumps or friends telling you so-and-so's pregnant again shoving it down your throat, then you feel even worse for being jealous! my in laws have been the worst, they're a nightmare at the best of times but my sister in law had her baby while I was still miscarrying which was obviously just really rotten timing but the comments such as 'oh look what you could have had' and 'never mind, you can just babysit' are driving me to the edge! Xxx
     

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