Right age to have a baby

[ft90]

This is a really interesting thread! I'm 21 and my OH is 28. We've been together almost 3 years now, but he was with his ex before me for 6 years. He really wanted kids then but she wanted to do a masters degree, train as a teacher and teach for a few years before she'd consider it, and then they broke up for different reasons. When we got together we knew really early on that marriage kids were on the agenda and we started talking about it at the end of my second year of uni. I was planning on doing my primary PGCE so we needed to decide whether it'd be that first and kids later, or kids now.

We decided kids now would make us both happy. I wanted a year off after uni anyway, my brain was frazzled from a law degree. So we TTC and it took us 5 months. I sat my finals at 5 months pregnant and kept it a secret (luckily my bump exploded a few weeks after!)

I'm really pleased with my choice, I think this is a good age for me. I did all my partying etc at 16/17 when I lived in Spain and during my fresher year, so I was over it. My mum always says I'm more like a 28 year old to talk to!

OH has a good job, and even though we're renting now, we have a hefty deposit that we can add to over the next year before baby number 2. I'm lucky enough to be able to have years off to raise my kids, and they'll be well looked after, so to me waiting would have been wasted time, now I get to see my little boy!! xx

 

[littlemiss83]

I was 19 when I fell pg with my 1st. She was planned, I thought i'd seen it & done it all by that age, but when I look back now, there's so much else I would like to have done, like more travelling/parties ect (even tho I done it to the max u need to make the most of it while young)

Its only really when you get to my age (29) and everyone around u, all the ppl u went to skl with ect have only recently been having their first babies, it makes me realise it was a bit too young for me.

I'd say some time mid 20's is the best because by that age you've seen it all really haven't u.

xxxxxx

 

[ft90]

Its only really when you get to my age (29) and everyone around u, all the ppl u went to skl with ect have only recently been having their first babies, it makes me realise it was a bit too young for me.

Haha I'm classed as an old mum where I come from, the majority of people I went to school with have a toddler by now, one girl has an 8 year old, and I'm 21! Or they have two kids!

I'm so happy with the way things have turned out. I've been to the middle east, africa, lived abroad for 5 years, been to French Polynesia, America... The only places I wan't to go now is Thailand and on safari, and I don't feel like I'm missing out because I can take Caleb to ride the elephants and be in a real life zoo!

xx

 

[redbear]

I think its interesting so many people parties in there 20's, we just mainly went to friends houses and had drinks we only even went out twice a year really - and we still can do all that because all our friends are in there 30's and have kids (dont ask me why all my friends are so much older it just happened)


I think you lot have had much more exciting 20's than i ever did before LO i'm jealous!! x

 

[Squeakz]

my oh and i were young having j. 21 22we gotarried the year before that. we both had partied very hard in our teens and in our first years of uni. then j came along. i finished my degree really well witjout ime off oh did a masters without time off. i now have a good job and oh is doing his doctorate in business which he gets a salaried for and also guest lectures for a small fortune. we have our own house we rent out in hants and we rent somewhere in herts atm. we have a lovely life and i think we had j at a wondeefil time in our lives. we cannot wait to know that when we are in our 40s our iids will be well old enouhh to look aftee themaelves and we can have wonderdully relaxed later years x

 

[Cazza]

im gonna bail on this one and say imo there is no 'right' age. i think you just know when the time is right for you or it happens when its supposed to . then again i do believe strongly in fate and that things happen when theyre supposed to. .

Agree with you Bev!!

I'm 41 and just had my first baby - various reasons including a medical condition that was treated by drugs that made pregnancy impossible, made having kids earlier a non starter.

My OH is 45 but we are both VERY fit and active, we spend weekends in the forest with our dogs racing them and do agility, cycling and lots of walking. We are financially stable (just skint !!!) and OH is able to retire early in 3 years. Then the world will be our oyster we will be able to do big holidays, lots of outings etc

OH's parents were the same age when they had him, never stopped them doing things and being close.

BUT

Had I had the chance then I think early/mid thirties would have been ideal !

 

[Squeakz]

yeah i do agree that everything depends on the individual person or couple x

 

[JoJo79]

I was 19 when i got pregnant with my eldest and 20 when i had her, even tho i wouldnt change her for the world (i know non of us would) looking back now i personally was far too young, i wasnt married (again im not against people having kids and not being married its just something i always thought id be before kids )

I did own my own home at that point and had a good start on a career, sadly that ended when i fell pregnant and me and dd1's dad ended up splitting up and gave up our home!

Back to the point lol. if i could of had her later on i would have, then again i had my second daughter at 25 (with my now husband) and dh was only 20 at the time, again for me that was maybe a bit early!

Just had my son and im 32 personally this is a great age to be having children, altho for me sometimes the age gap feels a bit too big, im dealing with a nearly 13 yr old, a 7yr old who's used to being the baby and a newborn!

On the other hand i have 2 friends who had their first children at 16 and are happy they did, each to their own xx

 

[Olive]

Am the same and agree with BevG. Really depends on the couple and their circumstances.

x

 

[Lulu_Laroo]

I think it completely depends - I know people whose main ambition in life was to have children, and they had no other ambitions or goals. If that's how you feel, then perhaps earlier on is better. My mother-in-law said having children was her only ambition, and she had OH when she was 19.
Personally, I think the age I had Poppy (28) is perfect, because I spent my early twenties having fun, spending all my wages on clothes and fun holidays with friends etc, working and getting to know about the ways of the world! I also had a serious relationship for three and a half years when I was 20, and it's funny looking back, he was the love of my life and I thought I'd marry him. But almost nine years on, I'm a TOTALLY different person to the person I was at the age of 20 (isn't everyone) and so I'm very, very glad I didn't settle down then! Because I most certainly would not be with that person now if I had ended up having a baby with him at that age.

 

[smokey08]

Don't think there is a "right age" but there is a "right time"
OH and I knew we wanted children, when the time was right and after being together for almost 5 years, knowing we were stable and solid we started TTC.
I love being a mum at 24 I think its not too young or old, but everybody differs I was READY at 24 but other women are not
I think its down to your lifestyle. Xxx

 

[Amzy]

Just whenever you feel ready but not too young as you think you can take on anythin but you really cant and may regret it when your older! probs after being 21 you sort of know what direction you want to take its important to find yourself first x

 

[NinjaKitty]

I never had the yearning to have kids. We were quite clinical in making the decision to TTC. We have stable jobs, stable financially and realised that it was now or never. Now actually having J I feel like I maybe should have done it in my early 30s and not my late 30s. Two reasons, I find having J so rewarding do maybe I did miss out not doing it earlier. Also because I was so ill after having him I can't help wonder if I'd have had a better time doing it a few years younger. Saying that because we chose our time and had done the stuff we wanted to do I feel calm and happy being with J because it's his time now iykwim.

 

[Cazza]

The thing is at 41 I STILL don't feel mature or responsible enough to have a child!!!

I had the biggest shock on Mothers Day....................a card that wasn't from my dogs as usual!!!

Wouldn't be without my little lady now though!!

 

[Hunnie]

I wish I had waited at least another 10 years and had a life first.

 

[NinjaKitty]

The thing is at 41 I STILL don't feel mature or responsible enough to have a child!!!

I had the biggest shock on Mothers Day....................a card that wasn't from my dogs as usual!!!

Wouldn't be without my little lady now though!!

Lol I know! Still can't believe that they let me take him home, you know like I'm a responsible adult or something

 

[NinjaKitty]

I wish I had waited at least another 10 years and had a life first.

Kids are hard work whatever age you have them. Pretty sure you'll still be able to do the things you want to do, you'll just find other ways to do it and be able to share things with your LO. And when LO one is all grown up you'll still be a yummy mummy and not a grey haired granny like me

 

[Hunnie]

I wish I had waited at least another 10 years and had a life first.

Kids are hard work whatever age you have them. Pretty sure you'll still be able to do the things you want to do, you'll just find other ways to do it and be able to share things with your LO. And when LO one is all grown up you'll still be a yummy mummy and not a grey haired granny like me

I think it's just the fact that everything is 10x harder but I guess thats just baby's for you in general. And im sure you won't be a grey haired granny!! We will all be milfs lol xxx

 

[NinjaKitty]

Awwww our LOs are still brand new. By all accounts it does get easier when they get bigger....... I hope!

 

[Princess81]

I'm 30 and happy I had baby at this age. I was wild in my twenties, worked hard, partied hard, travelled, built a house and spent stupid money on posh clothes/bags/shoes. Now I'm ready to give my all to l/o. I think 38 would be my limit for my last