Question re natural mc

[MrsMushroom]

Hi ladies, I wondered if you would be able to give me some advice?

I had a 3rd early scan on Friday and was told that my little baby hadn't made it and I had had a miscarriage.

I was sent home and I am supposed to be going back to the EPU tomorrow morning to talk over my options (ie. medical management/ERPC etc) as they think the pregnancy stopped 2 weeks ago, but a few hours after I got home from hospital I started bleeding really heavily and about an hour later I lost our baby.

I'm glad that it happened naturally as I really wanted to avoid the other 2 options but I really wondered whether I have to go for this appointment tomorrow?

Will I probably have to have another scan to check that everything has come away by itself?

I am still bleeding quite heavily and am in some pain but I havn't passed any more large clots since yesterday morning and although it is still heavier than a period, the bleeding has slowed a little since Friday.

I really like to avoid going to hospital unless I really need to, and I also wondered what are the chances that I might still need an ERPC after a natural mc?

 

[Balthazar1275]

I just wanted to say sorry you are going through this sad time.
I would still go to the appointment tomorrow, they will probably take bloods to make sure your hormone levels are decreasing or decreased and do a scan to make sure everything has gone. If it has then no further treatment will be needed, if not then they will talk though your options.
Hope your and you OH are taking care of each other at this sad time. Thinking of you

Michelle x

 

[SeonaidMac]

Hi Hun i had a natural mc at about the same stage as you.

I had to go back to be rescanned to make sure everything had come away by itself. If you are still bleeding quite heavily it might be an idea to call them and see what they say before going in. They might reschedule you for another day.

 

[jojo3972]

So sorry mrs m still go to ur app they will scan to make sure all has gone and may or am not take bloods xx

 

[CARNAT22]

Sorry for your loss hun, it sounds kind of like my first m/c. Lots of scans, eventually a natural miscarriage.

I kept the appointment and had a scan - despite bleeding quite heavily - as they wanted ot make sure it was complete.

I think for me it was part of the healing process as well, knowing that my womb was clear after weeks of this hanging over my head. It also meant I didn't have to worry about infection and stuff.

Best of luck and keep strong

xxxxxxxxx

 

[MrsMushroom]

Thank you all for your advice, I know it's not an easy thing to talk about so I really very much appreciate you all replying

The bleeding really has eased off a lot today, it's just like a period now so I think the worst is probably (hopefully!) over.

I'll def still go to the appointment tomorrow, as you say we need to make sure it's all gone and I do think it will help to get over it as i think it'll be a form of closure in a way.

I was feeling a lot better about things today until a very good close friend who knows what has happened, announced to me this afternoon that she's pregnant.

Whilst I am really happy for her, I wish she'd had a bit more tact and had waited a few days. It maybe wouldn't have stung so much then. Another friend summed up how I feel in one sentence: "Some people are complete fucking inconsiderate bitches!" I wish I didn't feel that way, but I really do and I havn't been able to message my friend back to congratulate her yet. I don't know if I ever will be able to

We are quite keen to start TTC'ing again as soon as we can, we think it'll help with the healing process. Can I ask, how long did you wait before you tried again? And how long did it take to get your bfp?

Thank you all again very much xxx

 

[SeonaidMac]

I had something similar happen too hun re people announcing they're pregnant right after my mc... it's hard to be happy for them i know and your friend has summed it up excellently... xx i too even now 7 months later haven't been able to congratulate her because of the way she announced it to me...

I'd give it a cycle before you start trying again, that's what they usually recommend although i do know some people who have got pregnant again straight after their MC and everything has been ok.... A lot of it depends on how you feel and when you feel ready xx

Good luck with your appointment tomorrow xx

 

[MrsMushroom]

She's literally just pee'd on the stick this afternoon, it's not like she's 12 weeks and has had her scan so I just don't get it. I would never be that inconsiderate even to someone I hated, never mind a close friend.

The US lady did say that a lot of women get pregnant again in the first cycle after a mc, I suppose maybe you're super fertile like just after you give birth?

I feel like I want to get started again, I think it'll give me something good to focus on. I should probably give it a month though. How long does it normall take to get your period back?

 

[evie_smith]

I'm so sorry you are going through this babes xxx and its horrible how some people think its perfectly ok to announce they are pregnant when they know what's happening. When I had my mc it took me not the month following as I had a month out but the next month after to fall pregnant with the twins.
When I thought I was loosing the twins someone close to me kept asking me if I had bled them out and I had a complete stranger doing the same too. My sil and this other person also announced they may be pregnant - so I know how you feel when I lost one of them my sil was very blunt and it hurts you have every right to feel as through you can't congratulate your friend it's a hard time. I want to give you my love to you I hope your appointment goes well tomorrow xxx

 

[SeonaidMac]

That is really shit hun... xx sorry you've had to go through that xx

My period came back about a month after my mc but my cycles have been all over the place since.. yeah it is like after having a baby you become super fertile.. but I do know ppl that got a bfp straight away then had yet another mc... so I decided I couldn't go through that again so soon so I waited xxx

 

[laurat]

Hey honey, sorry for your loss! I had a natural mc and eventually passed everything but it is very important to get checked till the hospital is happy that you have the all clear!

In terms of your so called friend Im sorry someone could be so inconsiderate.

Take care of yourself!

 

[Becky1]

Some people are unbelievable!!! I spent quite a few weeks avoiding pregnant friends after my mmc.

In terms of ttc again we waited until I'd had a period (exactly 4 wks after erpc) and the started ttc and I got my bfp that 1st month. Its individual choice how long you wait and when you feel ready.

Take care xxx

 

[jojo3972]

Hi mrs m some ppl are as u say inconsiderate bitches and lets hope to god she doesn't have to go through an mc to know how u feel right now! As for ttc I started right away was about 3 weeks after wen we started dtd again but not just for ttc reasons but to get close again and for comfort was wat I needed I didn't get a negative hpt for 5-6 weeks after n oved 2 weeks after that but we never used any contraception I wanted to get bk at it it heled me through knowing I was trying again it took me 3 cycles I think it was to get my bfp and as I know that didn't stick but I'm hopefull it won't take long to get next bfp and very best of luck with ttc again xxxx

 

[MrsMushroom]

Thanks girls for all your love and support, it means so much

It all went ok at hospital, she did an external US but she is quite happy (if that's the right word to chose) that's it's all gone naturally by itself. A small blessing really, I couldn't bear to go in for surgery.

Now, I suppose we just have to try to start healing and get on with things. I'd really like to start TTC'ing again as soon as we can and i had thought that we would but hubby admitted last night that he doesn't think he's ready. I'm pretty gutted at that to be honest, especially when he said that he didn't feel like he could come near me. He didn't mean it in a bad way, he is just hurting in a big way too and he said he needed some time.

It did hurt a lot though to hear him say it, especially after the day I had yesterday. But what can I do, I just have to let him come to terms with what's happened in his own time

 

[Becky1]

Oh sweetie, men just aren't always great at expressing how they feel in the right way are they!

After my mmc we didn't dtd until after my first af, neither of us felt like it and both needed time to heal.

Glad all went as well as could be expected at the hospital.

xx

 

[SeonaidMac]

Oh hun.... he'll be hurting too but men deal with it differently to us.. xx my DH was gutted when i had my mmc and he found it hard to tell me how he felt about it all... to me it was feeling like he didn't care at all from the things he was saying... it just took him a while to be able to explain how he felt... x

I'm glad everything went as well as it could at the hospital and at least you don't have to go back/have medical intervention xxx