Question for Lisa31 and anyone else from Leicester

[Amanda]

Hi Lisa, hope you and Heidi are both well

I've a question for you specifically about the Leicester General Hospital Parentcraft classes. I've finally managed to get through to the phone like to book them today and I'm a bit put out!

I was expecting them to offer classes for couples which show videos of birth, show you how to bath a baby, a tour of the unit, that sort of thing. But they can only offer me 2 classes. One is pain relief, and the other is breastfeeding. I explained that I didn't want to breastfeed, and was only interested in an epidural, so didn't want either of these. She then started asking me why I only wanted an epidural, and what if there was nobody available to give it to me. She then asked me if I had thought about counselling because I had obvious issues still following the birth of my daughter!!! I have ended up saying I would go on the pain relief one just to shut her up!!! DH can come along if he wants, but there is no need for him to be there (her words not mine!). I'm gutted! I was expecting so much more, and was just wondering if this is right, or did I just catch a midwife on an off-day???

 

[melhoney]

sorry can't help with your question, but just read what you went through, and I am appalled!!!!!!!!!!
How dare she tell you you have issues!?!
I would have asked her name and written a complaint to the hospital about her, if it had been me!!!

Anyway, I live in Aylesbury, and we had 3 parentcraft classes, one was "normal labour", second one was "pain relief options" and last one was how to deal with the first few days, which was the best out of the three: one midwife brought a 5 hours old baby and gave him his first bath in front of us, that was really cute!
Husbands were all there, and they seemed to enjoy the classes as much as us, women...it's important for them to be there, some feel a bit left aside during the pregnancy as they don't carry the baby, so it's good they can be involved in something...esp if they are going to be birthing partners! and daddies...I don't know why, but midwives seem generally against men!!!
what a load of b****sh*** she told you!
Can't believe it!

we had to book a tour of the ward separately, by the way...you probably can do that as well (mind you, we were unlucky, they were full so we didn't do the tour in the end!)
I am sure Lisa will tell you more about Leicester
take care,
Mel xx

Speak tp your midwife about it, she might be able to give you more info!

 

[Amanda]

Thanks Mel, the third class you mentioned is the sort of thing I was looking for. It may have been you that mentioned the bathing thing before and I told her that someone I knew had a demonstration on a newborn, and she answered that that was ridiculous!!!! She said they had community midwifes to show you things like that!!!

I explained that my husband has no experience with birth at all, and I was worried about how he was going the be during the birth, and her answer was to sit him down in front of a program on Discovery H & L!!! My reaction to that was to inform her that I had watched loads of these programs and they always blur out the business end, and do you ever get to hear about the placenta?? No! I was speaking to DH last night, and asked him if he knew what happened to the placenta, and his answer was "it just falls out after doesn't it??" I think he needs a class or two!!

 

[Urchin]

Awww tankett what a pain!

Your OH also needs to look out if he wants to cut the cord....first time the docs cut it before my OH got asked! We nagged second time and he got to do it!


Hope you get it sorted

 

[melhoney]

yea, my husband also cut the cord! it was a unique experience apparently, he still speak about it, it was very meaningful for him! I think it just made him feel a little bit special

I am admiring your calm tankett, I think I would have lost the plot with someone like her!!!
What the point of her job then if we can find all the answers somewhere else????grrrrrrrrrrrrr!
I am so glad My little Maheen is here now, and I don't have to put up with these kind of attitudes anymore! esp when your hormones are all over the place!!!!!!! honnestly, you dealt with it very well! I wouldn't have!

Hope you get something sorted out, ans have it YOUR way!!! it's your baby, not theirs!
take care,
Mel xx

 

[beanie]

I had 3 classes, a breastfeeding class, a relaxation class and a pain relief class. They don't do the newborn bath thing etc here as they feel that expectant parents have so much to take in that they forget and instead the hospitals will show you how to bath your baby whilst you are in hospital, and how to change nappy etc which I found more helpful. Our pain rlief class was the one where the birth wqs expalined and the options given in detail. My OH found that class very helpful so even though you have decided to have an epidural perhaps it may be worth going along to that class anyway. Perhaps the midwife was trying to help you think about the alternatives to pain relief in case for some reason an epidural isn't available (though didn't do it too well)?? I know that on the night Seren was born it was packed and some women weren't able to have an epidural. As for the tour, we didn't do this at opur antenatal as it had become busy and they didn't want to disturb new mums (which I wopuld have hated myself as I looked like poo) so instead we were able to phone up and have a look around on our own which was loads better as we were able to ask the questions that were important to us.

 

[babsi]

Tankett, for the next baby I think my choices will be similar.

I was very anti-epidural before the birth but I had to have one as the pain was so bad. And will be having one next time. I went to the hospital and the nurse thought it was strange that I didn't want to have an epidural as everyone seems to have them here. I am in Canada, it's amazing how things differ. I think the rate of women having epidurals just in Toronto is in the high 90's percentage wise.

with bf, the chances of me trying again are low. maybe i will, maybe not. But in someways it is too far in the future, probably around 2 years all so.

And isn't it annoying when people think you have issues when you are perfectly fine

 

[Lauz_1601]

my OH wanted to cut the cord but wasnt asked! think he was a bit dissapointed about that! and I wanted to see the placenta and didnt! looking back now, I got nothing that I wanted apart from my beautiful healthy baby

 

[lisa31]

Hi Tankett

I did PM you as I didnt understand your message! - I think this is what you wer asking about so I have replied!:-

Sorry havent replied sooner - have had a hectic week and weekend.

Sounds like you got one of the arsey ones on the end of the phone!!. That counselling thing she mentioned - I actually went to one of the sessions (its called Birth Reflections) and the woman who I saw - I wouldnt say was arsey but a bit 'up herself' - by what you have said I reckon it sounds like the same woman! - her comments sound similar - Imagine how I feel I have in my notes that I was unco-operative - I was in bloody massive pain - Heidi was stuck - of course Im going to be a bit 'off' lol

To be honest I think some Midwives are a bit 'up themselves (that they no best) - I certainly would have an epidural again and they shouldnt question you about what you prefer to do - every birth is different - so even if they have had a baby their experience would of been different.

I cant believe what she said about the D/H doesnt have to go - mine did and the classes were very helpful and informative (my D/H actually enjoyed going) We have just sat here and racked our brains trying to think of the woman who took the classes as she was absoultly brilliant - but we cant remember her name.

I know they dont to 'bathing the baby' in the classes - I cant remember how many classes we went to but I know that pain relief is the major topic (but it wasnt just all about pain relief - my D/H is now reeling off to me what went on - and that sounds a bit rubbish but it was good (and this is where your:

1st Class - meet everybody and basics about giving birth - e.g what do you already know if anything etc etc (so this would be good for your D/H) and pain relief.

2nd Class relaxtion techniques (a physiotherapist came in) got shown active birth positions etc.

3rd Class - Womens only class - they bought a day-old baby in from the ward (I started crying!!! LOL) - and breastfeeding also discussed.

4th Class - more about pain relief - showed us the insturments - forceps etc etc, and then role playing about what happens if you have to have a cesaren section. Then a tour of the labour ward (home from home and birthing pool rooms.

Told you he enjoyed it! he can remember exactly what we did!

There was also info such as what to pack in your bag and what type of sandwiches to make your D/H - they advised us not to use mayonaise as you are supposed to make the sarnies weeks in advance and then freeze them BIZZARE

If I were you I would ring up again and hopefully you will get someone different

Hope I have been of some help.

L x

 

[Amanda]

Thanks a lot Lisa - that helps loads. I'm definitely going to ring them again. Oh, and thank your DH for me!!