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[addled]

After a positive pregnancy test, I went to the hospital on Friday and found out I'm exactly 8 weeks gone. My boyfriend who I've been with 18 months told me I have to get rid of it and I want to keep him so I booked in for a medical termination for 9.30am today. But I had a power cut last night and my alarm didn't wake me up so I missed my appointment. I just rang them up and they said because I'm 8 weeks they can see me tomorrow at the very latest otherwise I'll need a d and c which I can't stand the thought of. I just feel like I'm deciding my fate in less than a day, it doesn't seem fair. Any help/advice/someone to talk to would be really good for me. Thanks loads. Becca, 23. x

 

[Hellokitty]

Not sure what to say, but you must remember its your decision not your boyfriend's.

How would you feel if he left you in a couple of months?

 

[addled]

This is what my problem is. Can scans tell you to the very day when the baby was conceived?

 

[Dee1985]

how is a medical termination done? i had a abortion at 7/8 weeks and i was put to sleep and baby was removed same way as d&c didnt no there was any other way?

just do what you think is right, it takes 2 to tango so your partner has no right to make you do this if you don want to, but if you do go ahead with it dont be hard on your self, i dont it and it was defo for the best

 

[weestar21]

if its what you really want then all i can say is i hope it goes ok and your bloke is worth it.
If your not sure i would speak to your gp or a family member not your boyfriend though somone else just to see if you have the help and support to bring up a baby.

sorry im not much help but only you can decide what will be best for you
take care in whatever you decide

xxx
_________________

 

[Flame]

I personally think you should take as long as you need to think about this.

Ask yourself a few questions, maybe speak to a close family member or best friend.

Do you not want the baby just because your boyfriend doesnt or do you yourself also not feel ready to have a baby?

Were you taking precautions so as not to fall pregnant?

 

[andreag]

I would agree that this is your decision and you should talk to someone else and not rush or be rushed into a decision. Presumably the clinic offers some counselling or support to help people make a decision. If not, I think somewhere like Brook advisory would have someone you can talk it through with?

 

[kirlykird]

Dionne: Medical terminations are administared by pills.

Basically,usually you take a pill given to you by a nurse to help abort the baby.

A few days later you normally have a pill supposatry to help the baby and sac etc...miscarry, this will happen in hospital and is like going into labour but avoids operation.

Can only be performed up to a certain point of pg, usually about 6-8 weeks.

ADDLED.... I have posted in single & pregnant

 

[Dee1985]

ohh right yes my friend had it done using the pill


addled, ild take the time you need to make the right decition, i could have had the pill but opted against it as i think it would be harder to cope with.
so dont rush your decision to avoid the op x x

 

[M&Ms]

I'm lucky, I guess, in that I have never had to make a decision like this.

A friend of mine went through this a few years back. Her boyfriend of 2 years talked her into having an abortion when she really wanted to keep the baby. Said she would lose him if she didn't. Why do men feel they have the right to put this additional stress on a woman? OK fair enough, he might not be ready for a family but if he isn't he should make sure he is taking precautions so as to not get someone pregnant!

Be strong in whichever decision you make *hugs*

 

[kirlykird]

I agree with Dionne, the pill isn't always the best way to do it, it does prevent an operation but is very painful and you will know exactly what is going on.

Have a good good think

 

[nicki]

I have to agree with the others on this. Its totally your decision. What kind of man is your boyfriend to give you an ultimatum like that?
Sorry to sound harsh but if he really loved you, he wouldn't leave you just because you bring his baby into the world? he would be there for you supporting you evry step of the way.
If deep down you would like this baby & you terminate the pregnancy then you have to live with that forever, also its your body, not his.


Take as long as you need hun, don't let anyone pressurize you, especially him.

We are all here for support

 

[addled]

You guys are so helpful, thank you so much. I never thought of the medical abortion like that before. Do you actually have to see the baby come out? xxx

 

[kirlykird]

You don't see it coming out, but you are given a pan each time you go to the loo to look out for it, I went with a friend to have hers done and it was an awful experience for her

 

[Dee1985]

You guys are so helpful, thank you so much. I never thought of the medical abortion like that before. Do you actually have to see the baby come out? xxx

you have bad cramping and lots of blood and clots its the baby coming away.
with the op i was put to sleep and whn i woke up i had period type pains and feel a bit sore but i just went home and rest after.
my friend had the tablet and said she was in alot of pain with it.

 

[x-kirsty-x]

I dont mean to upset anyone but I had a medical termination once at 8 and a half weeks and yes I did see everything come out,I was told not to look but I did and what I saw will stay with me for the rest of my life, it was absolutely heartbreaking.

I hope you choose whatevers best for you, dont feel influenced by anyone else

 

[Dee1985]

kristy hun, thats how my friend said she felt.

i supppose every one is dif and the thought of a op seems more scarey but it was defo best for me

 

[x-kirsty-x]

I was too scared to have an operation cos Id heard of them going wrong so I chose the pills.

Addled, all Im saying is if you decide to go ahead with it and you happen to have the pills be prepared for it, take someone with you because no one should have to go through that on their own. It can take a while and its horrible

Please think it through properly first though

 

[kirlykird]

My friend too. She was absolutely devestated and it still upsets her now,infact she was diagnosed with depression a short time afterwards

 

[sarah113]

i agree with the others the decisions is yours and not your boyfriends
and take as long as you need to decide whats best for you