Ok ladies cut the crap

[heggie10]

Hi ladies

In my 14 week of pregnancy & thinking about what the hell is going to happen.

Can some one please tell me the truth what is it pain really like is it worse or better than what we see on tv (don't pretend i can take it) actually i can't but don't want to go into this all innocent & sweet (don't want to hear it will all be worth it either) i know it probable will be.

How much do u bleed afterwards. R u sore for months, weeks or ever after. Does sex feel the same. Will i be tired, moody etc afterwards. Will things change so much it will be unbelieveable or unbearable.

Ladies i am sorry for been rude but i am really scared at the thought of it all just wish i could c into the future This is will be my 1st.
i feel like this most of the time.

 

[Maria1977]

It varies for every woman hun, I know it doesn't help but try not to focus on the pain coz when you're doing it, you're jusy getting on with it. I was induced 16 hours after waters broke and then did 7.5 hours with no pain relief before the pain became unbearable for me, the thing that freaked me the most was the epidural, I screamed through fear lol, but that was me, someone else would've floated through that and then the next person might've screamed louder than me.

As you due date gets closer of course you're going to contemplate all this stuff, but for now just focus on growing a healthy strong baby xxxxxxx

 

[hopefulmummy]

have a look at this thread -

http://www.pregnancyforum.co.uk/labour-birth/190632-labour-birth-things-movies-dont-tell-us.html

 

[ZMD]

It is different for everyone, i managed at home till i was almost 6cm dilated, then got in the birthing pool and didn't have gas & air until 2 hours before she was born the worst bit for me was pushing her out. i had 3 bad tears and bled lots, had quiet a few stitches that hurt more than i thought they would! was sore for a couple of months after But i wasn't stitched properly. hope this doesn't scare you un much x

 

[isobel84]

When I see on tv, its like the babies slide out, for me it was hell. After was hell. But you forgett, some forgett straight away, others like me, takes weeks. but I would love to do it again. N I think that says it all.

N sex for me was better after, I had many stitches n the doc def made it tighter. Its still slightly sore sometimes n Noa is 7 n a half month x

 

[tinytoes]

I didnt find it easy to be straight with you .Its uncomfortable until you hit established labour then its tough going but there is pain relief and it does work . Recovery is uncomfortable i bled for 6 weeks after and was a bit sore but I had painkillers arnica cream and got through it . After I was healed and confident maybe three months after i found sex better than before , took time to feel up to it though . But look in the long run everyone is different , and it cant be that bad if 15 months later I'm getting ready to do it all again

 

[Annie050408]

Right, you want the truth hon? Well here is MY truth (as others have said it varies from woman to woman):

1) the pain was absolutely horrific - seriously. Apologies for being so frank but that was true in my case. Not the whole of labour but certainly what I believe to have been from around 6-10 cm and the pushing and...crowning. I had no pain relief and remember it all very clearly and it was pain like no other. Having sai all that you'll see from my signature that we are ttc again and next time I'm having an epidural!

2) sex did not feel the same straight away - it felt....loose down there BUT after about 4-5 months everything clearly sprung back into place as was exactly the same.

3) I only bled for around 2 weeks.

 

[xx emma xx]

I only had my baby 2 weeks ago but it was also hellfor me also. I found the pain unbearable, my OH got upset cos he said all he could see was terror in my eyes as I was so scared. I got an epidural as my baby was back to back so I was never going to hav an easy labour, I ended up having a mid cavity forceps delivery so I'm still in a lot of pain. I'm still bleeding too.

I had a bad birth experience though and not everyone goes through that, some people worse and some people have easier. Its different for every woman. All I can say is don't be afraid to ask for pain relief. I didn't even notice getting the epidural but I was already on gas and air and diamorphine.

Like Isobel I couldn't forget the birth right away and it will be a while before I will forget it. But I know I will eventually as I want more than one child. Hope I haven't scared you. I know I will do it again and it didn't kill me xxx

 

[treeze]

well as said above - everyone is different and not only that your individual births can be different...

with my 1st daughter i was induced, it took 4 days to work and she was born 10 days late. I was very sore from internals, pessarys, mild contractions for 3 days and had gas and air, pethedine and epidural. Once the epidural finally worked (took 3 attempts at repositioning it) it was bliss and i didn't feel a thing after about 5cm. up to 5 cm was bearable with gas and air. Pushed for an hour, 2nd degree tear which didn't give me any pain at all afterwards.. piles were one of the worst things to deal with after.

with my 2nd daughter (now 2 weeks old) i was booked for induction at 12 days over and finally went into labour at 11 days over much to my surprise and delight! Got mild, irregular contractions for most of the day and went to hosp to be told i was 1-2cm and was sent home... within half hour i went back to hosp and was 6cm.... i won't lie these contractions were not nice and i was already shouting my way through them and to be honest they just got more and more intense. Things happened really quick for me though... at 11:30pm i was 1-2cm... then midnight i was 6cm then she was born at 2:21am. No time for epidural so HAD to manage on gas and air much against my wishes and found the pain very very intense.

To be honest inbetween contractions you are ok but the next one comes around so quick and you just have to concentrate on getting through them one at a time! I made noises i din't know i could make and when it got to the pushing part my body just took over and felt like everything inside me was turning to concrete and squeezing the baby out... the head crowned and it felt like ripping/tearing (prob cos it was!) and then the shoulders felt like they were wedged and would never come out - but they did! Being stitched up afterwards was a doddle compared to labout even though i could feel the needle every time.

So looking at my 2 birth experiences i would choose the induction with epidural and pain relief ANYDAY! Everyone said "oh but aren't you proud you did it just on gas and air and you can go straight home?" (we were home by 5am and she was born at 2:21am).. but i said "NO if i could go back in time i would rather have had the epidural, had to stay in hospital longer, had the catheter and NOT had to feel that awful intense pain once it got past about 6-7cms!

As everyone tells you though mother nature has a wonderful way of making you forget - i would already have another baby tomorrow and i SWORE minutes after delivery that i would never do it again. I can only really remember the pain because i harped on about it so much in the days after the birth!!!

My stitches gave me a bit of grief this time and took longer to heal but 2 weeks down the road and my bits are almost back to normal.

First time around i bled for about 6 weeks.. this time just 2 weeks and there's virtually nothing now..

piles were defintaley the biggest (and i mean BIG) pain in the bum for me!!!

No matter how many stories you read though YOUR birth will be totally unique and until it happens you just don't know what might happen. My best advice - keep open-minded - don't get fixed on a particular type of birth you want as it could all change - and have as much pain relief as they will give you (why be in pain when there's no need!)

 

[Annie050408]

well as said above - everyone is different and not only that your individual births can be different...

with my 1st daughter i was induced, it took 4 days to work and she was born 10 days late. I was very sore from internals, pessarys, mild contractions for 3 days and had gas and air, pethedine and epidural. Once the epidural finally worked (took 3 attempts at repositioning it) it was bliss and i didn't feel a thing after about 5cm. up to 5 cm was bearable with gas and air. Pushed for an hour, 2nd degree tear which didn't give me any pain at all afterwards.. piles were one of the worst things to deal with after.

with my 2nd daughter (now 2 weeks old) i was booked for induction at 12 days over and finally went into labour at 11 days over much to my surprise and delight! Got mild, irregular contractions for most of the day and went to hosp to be told i was 1-2cm and was sent home... within half hour i went back to hosp and was 6cm.... i won't lie these contractions were not nice and i was already shouting my way through them and to be honest they just got more and more intense. Things happened really quick for me though... at 11:30pm i was 1-2cm... then midnight i was 6cm then she was born at 2:21am. No time for epidural so HAD to manage on gas and air much against my wishes and found the pain very very intense.

To be honest inbetween contractions you are ok but the next one comes around so quick and you just have to concentrate on getting through them one at a time! I made noises i din't know i could make and when it got to the pushing part my body just took over and felt like everything inside me was turning to concrete and squeezing the baby out... the head crowned and it felt like ripping/tearing (prob cos it was!) and then the shoulders felt like they were wedged and would never come out - but they did! Being stitched up afterwards was a doddle compared to labout even though i could feel the needle every time.

So looking at my 2 birth experiences i would choose the induction with epidural and pain relief ANYDAY! Everyone said "oh but aren't you proud you did it just on gas and air and you can go straight home?" (we were home by 5am and she was born at 2:21am).. but i said "NO if i could go back in time i would rather have had the epidural, had to stay in hospital longer, had the catheter and NOT had to feel that awful intense pain once it got past about 6-7cms!

As everyone tells you though mother nature has a wonderful way of making you forget - i would already have another baby tomorrow and i SWORE minutes after delivery that i would never do it again. I can only really remember the pain because i harped on about it so much in the days after the birth!!!

My stitches gave me a bit of grief this time and took longer to heal but 2 weeks down the road and my bits are almost back to normal.

First time around i bled for about 6 weeks.. this time just 2 weeks and there's virtually nothing now..

piles were defintaley the biggest (and i mean BIG) pain in the bum for me!!!

No matter how many stories you read though YOUR birth will be totally unique and until it happens you just don't know what might happen. My best advice - keep open-minded - don't get fixed on a particular type of birth you want as it could all change - and have as much pain relief as they will give you (why be in pain when there's no need!)

VERY well put ^^^

 

[Roo3]

I found my labour very traumatic, to the point where I've said the only way I'd ever give birth again would be if I could be guaranteed no pain at all.
I had an epidural which stopped the pain in my tummy and back, but I got agonising pains in my right leg. They adjusted the epidural and were about to take it out and start again when I got the urge to push. I'd progessed really quickly and had gone from 3-4cms to 9cms in 30minutes so I had to carry on on gas and air.
The pressure and pain I felt whilst pushing him out was unlike anything else I've ever experienced. It took me nearly 3 hours to push him out, and I ended up having an episiotomy (sp) and stiches.
When Jake was placed on me, the sense of relief I felt was immense, but both OH and I were unemotional as we were both so relieved that labour was over.
It's all completely worth it when you are handed your baby, but in my case I've not forgotten the pain nor do I think I will and I'm unlikely to get pregnant again as I don't want to go through labour again.

 

[pinkymum]

I was in early labour for 50 odd hours. For me
That was the worst part, I was having mild -moderate contractions, they were sore enough but nothing progressed and I had to be induced. But I decided to take the epidural just before I was put on the drip. And that was great because it meant I could dose off. I was so hungry as I hadn't eaten much before I went on the drip, then I wasn't allowed to eat at all.

I had Emily 4 weeks ago tomorrow and I'm still bleeding a bit. I had a second degree tear. The stitches got infected a few days after the birth and I was in agony!

I agree with the other girls, don't make any hard and fast plans and just see how it goes
Good luck, the feeling when they place baby on you is amazing!

Oops forgot to mention I needed blood transfusions! Dunno how I forgot that!

I agree with munchkin. You're labour will be unique and like no one else's. Try not to stress about it, it has to happen and worrying won't be helpful for you or baby!
I was really relaxed about labour all the way through till I went overdue lol.
X

 

[munchkin1982]

at the end of the day (and summed up perfectly by treeze) is that you will just not know what it will be like until the time comes. You could think OMG it's going to be horrific and actually it might be a "breeze" for you or visa versa. But no matter HOW MUCH PAIN you go through... NOTHING in this world will compare to when you hold your baby girl or boy in your arms.

I thought I knew what love was when I met and still wake up with my OH every day... but the unconditional love you will experience after all the pain of childbirth is worth every minute of it! I also after 6 months am TTC again. Really, you have nothing to worry about. Plus you don't need the stress of it anyway. Your unique labour and birth story will be yours and yours only. No woman is exactly the same - nor is any labour or birth. Embrace this wonderful and magical time. Many women don't get this chance and would love for the chance to even mutter the words "I am pregnant".

I apologise if I seem like I am having a go. I am the last person to do that I just wanted to try and make clear that each individual is quite frankly that. Individual. Unique. Good luck and ENJOY your pregnancy. Try not to stress and worry. xxx

 

[vixforever]

With my first I had a sweep and went into labour 6am the next morning, I was contracting on and off all day. 5 mins apart, these were bareable. At around 6.30pm I went blue myself and couldnt breathe so I got rushed to delivery. My son took 2 hours 24 mins to arrive (established) he got stuck but I managed to get him out, the pain with him was awful. I'm not gonna lie but I did only have three or four goes on gas and air cos it made me incredibly sick. I got him out and just had a graze. Afterwards I was violenty sick for hours, my blood pressure went sky high and I had to have anti-sickness drugs and then drugs to bring my blood pressure down. Afterwards I didnt feel right down there for around 6 weeks, purely cos it stung to wee. Sex was fine after though.

With my second baby Leo was a whole different story. I got induced and they didnt believe I was in labour. They examined me at 7cm 30 seconds later I was fully dilated with his head out of me. Got rushed to delivery holding him, took him 4 minutes to be delivered. Yes thats right, I had a 4 minute labour. No stitches, no graze. Was up and walking around within half an hour and I could wee without it stinging. I also only bled heavy for a week and had sex 8 days after giving birth and it felt amazing, still does

Every labour is different hun, as mine shows xx

 

[Cantstop]

I was induced and had an epidural and had a very positive experience! After the epidural I felt no pain so pushing her out was easy and in the lead up I relaxed and watched tv on my laptop. I was unlucky and tore but apart from that it was superb.

 

[Eilishnbean]

I was expecting it to be bad but for me it really wasnt. I was 12days overdue so was induced by the drip- I was already 3-4cm with out pain. I had natural birth just gas and air and nothing when I pushed. My contractions were really managable. I found the last 2 hours before I pushed the worst but I didnt even no how long it was it felt shorter. I did ask for the epidural but midwife new I was fully dilated at that point. I do want to do it again but want to wait a few years! All I can say its consentrate on your breathing it REALLY helps. I did listen to a natal hypnotherapy cd and I think that may have helped. I pushed for 20mins and Grace was born - got a second degree tear and stitches they numbed the area and had gas and air for this point wasnt too bad either think the injection for numbing was the worst part. They have healed really well and didnt give me any bother I was able to sit down and it was only slighty uncomfortable. I found the piles the worst out of all of it. I had never had them before so I didnt know untill I said to my mum every time I poo sorry tmi- I was screaming she said there piles silly! Still quite sore but alot better. I recovered quickly I feel 100% now 3weeks on. I was out in about in the first week but only here and there. But childbirth does take it out of you so when you have your baby make sure you have people fussing over you too, dont bother with house work get someone else to do it -along with cooking and when visitors pop over get them to make there own tea! Oh and yeah I didnt have any visitors at hospital (apart from grandparents and my sis who was at the birth anyway) Get your rest if people get upset oh well you've just given birth! x

 

[Zazu]

I think it's worse than on tv but not as bad as I thought it would be. On tv they only push for about 2 mins but I was pushing for about 40 mins, it takes ages!

I was at home til 6cm and could breath through the contractions. I got gas and air until about 8 cm but I wasn't progressing so they broke my waters, that's where the pain gets really intense. I had pethadine and it really helped but did make me drowsy between contractions. Pushing like i said takes ages and stings a lot more than it hurts. I had a small tear that didn't need stitches.

It hurt for a good few weeks after and I bled for about 6 weeks.
I didn't think it was that bad and I'd say don't get scared, just be prepared for things not to go to plan, and if you need pain relief, take it xxx

 

[Eilishnbean]

I agree when your waters go that when the pain was intense. All I can say its not a pain like your going to die or anything but only the last 2 hours of my birth was really painfull

 

[Welshhunniexx]

My daughter was born 2 years ago and i can honestly say it hurt like hell!
had a sweep on the friday, lost my plug on the sat night and my forewaters (i think thats what my midwife said) went on the sunday morn. had to be induced sunday night as hope was in stress. everything was ok until 2 hours later when i was screaming in agony. pethadine made me spaced out and i didnt know who was around me.
they gave me an epidural as the contractions seemed like they were seconds apart.

after 10 hours i was only 3cm and my midwife pushed for a c-section. hope was born 3:40pm on monday.
il be honest, when the epidural wore off i was in alot of pain from the incision. couldn't cough, couldn't walk, couldn't turn over in the hosp bed. they wanted me to have a blood transfusion as my iron levels had dropped to 9.5, but i refused.
was in hosp for 3 days and the day i come out, i went shopping in tescos. i bled for 2 weeks but had a bit of sexy time 10 days later and it was amazing tbh. more sensitive than ever.

i suffered with severe post natel though and from when hope was a 3 months till about 6 months my mam looked after her cuz i couldn't cope and hadn't bonded. the huge wave of love swept over me when she was around 9 months and now i couldn't be without her.

we ard ttc#2 so im hoping it goes better this time x

 

[cherelle]

In all honesty when the pains came for me i was shocked how bad it was but my body took over and i managed with just pethedine and gas and air. I really though id need an epidural because my pain threshold is sooooo low but i managed ok.

I know everyone says it - and its annoying when youre pregnant and its your first but it really is worth it!!! I always used to think how the hell do women put themselves through this more than once but now i know why. Looking into my gorgeous little boys eyes id do it million more times for him

Oh and i gave birth 12 days ago and i had 2 tears with stitches that are still very sore - id also like to know how long they will hurt for!! lol x