Oh is stressing me out! :(

[isobel84]

OH is a complete idiot. he demand that we move before baby comes (he only told me 3 days ago) from my flat. We where ment to move after Noa is born, in november.
He expect me to find a 2 bedroom house. Today i walked around asking in letting agencys and to my suprise.. there was no 2 bedroom houses. Only flats. So i found 1 flat with a garden. I called OH up and told him the situation, and he started to have a go at me!!
And said if i dont find a house he wont live with me and Noa.
There is no way i can do this on my own without him, having him come and go as he please. Plus that me and Noa wont have anywhere to live (cant stay in this flat).
I CANT BELIVE he is putting this stress on me. im due in 8 weeks!! I been crying so much.

i txt him and said that for me Noa must come first and eitherway OH is with us, or not.
He is really stressed out at the moment but to be honest, DONT TAKE IT OUT ON ME!! i deserve better, and so does his son.
I know he want to be with us and he loves us so much but sometimes hes SUCH a knob and dont think atall. selfish fuckin idiot.
I will give my notice on this flat 1 sep. and if hes not here with us then i just go home to sweden where I will have support and Noa will be safe.
If OH cant live in a flat with us cuz its not "good enough for him" then he dont deserve noa anyway.

 

[MrsR]

Aw honey x that's a lot of stress for you on your own, he should be making the effort to go with you to agents and to look at places x men just don't think sometimes!!! They have no idea what we're going through and how important it is for us to have somewhere for this new life that's as safe as inside us! x if he has such a problem with the flat then he needs to get off his bum and look for something! x where are you looking for somewhere? x

 

[serenitylove]

honestly id tell him if he is so keen on a ouse then get off his ass and go find one you shouldnt have to do it alone x big hugs im sure your get it all sorted xxxxx

 

[K&A]

didnt want to read and run, just ignore him, dont stress out, as the other girls are saying if his that bothered then he can sort it. If your happy at staying put for now then why should you stress about it..

you concentrate on you and bump x

 

[Annie050408]

Why can't he help you look hon? Also, could you broaden the search and try other areas? I would contact all agencies and say you want them to contact you the second a suitable prperty cones on the Market and that way you can stop looking and they can cone to you. Xx

 

[all_iz_well]

Hun thats really unfair putting all that pressure on you with you already having a lil one and then being pregnant! Does he not care at all. Its not good enough for him??? who does he think he is??? I would have gone mental at him by now, but just stay calm talk to him when he gets in from work and say this is how ur feeling ,and ifs hes stressed wat about you? what about ur health and ur kids?? If he doesnt care then just say il have to think about our future and see what he says. I really cant believe how selfish men can sometimes be!!

Good luck hun and keep us informed! xx

 

[isobel84]

he have offered to look but only if i move to his town, i refuse!! i have said from the beginning im not moving there.
i cant talk to him tonight cuz we dont live together and he wont come around now.
its just a horrible feeling that im having this baby soon and i dont know where i will live. I cant organise anything for Noa, no nursery, no washing clothes, nothing. cuz i dont know if i will have anywhere to live. He is so selfish and stubborn. and i hate to say i wish i wasnt pregnant, not that i would ever regret Noa, i really want him, but its not fair on him..

 

[adele88]

so he is refusing to stay at your flat with you ? Thats terrible I would sit him down and tell him you really arent happy about the current situation and that your due in 8 weeks and this is alot of stress for you.

 

[LucyH]

All i can say is BIG HUGS!!!!!!!!

Make sure you try rightmove - its brilliant!!! And just get the estate agents to do all the hard work for you - they can ring you when something comes up!!

Dont worry....I move in to my house next Tuesday - which is the day before my due date!!! The house move and living out of boxes...is hopefully going to bring on labour!! lol xxxx

Keep smiling

 

[setdse]

aww hun this made me tear up!

I'm sort of in the same situation although i have no choice but to move. My OH is suggesting i move in with him, but i never feel comfortable at his....like his dad is breathing down my neck all the time.

You need to say to him that you are going to do what is best for Noa and If he cant understand that then you two will live without him there. This may just kick his arse in gear and realize he may loose you both if he doesnt stop thinking of himself first.

Why is he so adamant you move to his town?

 

[sexyamy2005]

he seams like he wants the best for you all by you all living together in a bigger place but isnt willing to put any time or effort in to find anywhere, n thats just not fair!

would he think again about helpin you look if you tell him your thinking of going bk home and taking noa with you? sorta a shock tactic thingy?

gud luck in trying to find something suitable for you all hun,

xxx

 

[isobel84]

so he is refusing to stay at your flat with you ? Thats terrible I would sit him down and tell him you really arent happy about the current situation and that your due in 8 weeks and this is alot of stress for you.

He promised he would move in when i was 35 weeks just incase of early labour. then we where gonna look for another place to live but not move until after Noa was born. Now he have just changed his mind.
My maternitypay will not even cover rent and council tax here.
he knows that. but still say "i stay here then and you can live there"
how does he expect me to bring his son up on nothing?
no, if he think he is better then us in anyway and this is not good enough for him, then i go home, simple as. My mum would be over the moon to have us for nothing.

 

[Rosie's Mummy]

It sounds to me as if you and baby will be better off in Sweden. If he can't put any effort in now then what will he be like when the baby comes, he sounds mega selfuish xx

 

[Minchin]

oh hon, sounds very stressful, hope you manage to sort somehting out whatever decision you decide to make, and that your OH decides to see how selfish he is being... x

 

[isobel84]

we have talked now (just a little bit as he was at work)
He said he got angry cuz i was chucking in face that he dont do anything for me and the baby when he works 7 days week(last time he had a day of was 2nd of june for our scan) to provide for me aswell as i cant work much now im pregnant i earn alot less plus to pay of debts my ex left me in (i think this is what is annoying him)
Í said im scared to be on my own with noa and he said i wont be. Well we are gonna talk more tonight and we said we loved eachother and hung up.

Im feel so bad being nasty to him like that, but i hope he understand he cant talk to me like that either.
feels abit better now tho.

 

[Yodabo]

Glad things seem a little better. I agree with the house hunting, he should be helping! Me and my husband lived in different towns and compromised by choosing somewhere in between. Could that work for you?

 

[tinkerbell86]

i know what it's like organising moving as were hopefully moving fri but things seem to be halting it at the mo and i just want to move now and get rid of these boxes!!!!! Well i want to sort babies room and get prepared!!!

Rightmove is a great website and you can email estate agents in the area with what your after and then the phone will start ringing!!

Where abouts in Essex are you looking at as i've been keeping an eye out for my friend?

 

[mummynmummy2b]

Hey hun i'm so sorry your having to stress about all this now! I dont mean for you to take this the wrong way, please dont think im being rude but isn't it your OH who hasnt even told his family about Noa?? Maybe he needs a bit of a shake to grow up and accept some responsibility. You have more than enough on your plate at the moment without having to deal with his toddler tantrums too! He seems to be acting like a child. Wasnt it only6 a few weeks ago that he was having a tantrum about something else.

Trust me i completely understand that having a new baby due is stressfull for both mum and dad and can understand that sometimes both parties get worked up but at the end of the day you should be a team, getting through the difficult bits together as its about to get a hell of a lot harder!

If i were you hun i'd give him an ultimatum and mean it. You dont need to be pandering to him when your going to have a newborn to look after too.

Please dont take my post the wrong way, completely on your side but if you let someone get away with acting like that then they're going to continue!
xxx

 

[evie_smith]

Oh top tip stuff estate agents they cost too much lol and look in the bargin pages we found a nice 4 bed house that was huge!!! And garden and garage and drive for £450 a month well good! But we didn't have that back then gutted! We then found a flat 2 bed for £300 and now we have a beautiful house 3 bed a bit more but worthit bargin pages isthe way to go and you can go look round there is no paperwork fee just deposit and first month and most kf the time they will let you split the deposit ova 2-3 months x x


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[NicciLove]

oh hun! im so sorry to hear your having a stressful time, im glad you managed to have a talk with him.

You mentioned about not being able to afford things on your own but honestly hunni dont fret, there are always tax credits, benefits etc to help bump up your pay, if your still worried contact the council and they will give you some advice. and like someone else mentioned have a look on rightmove.com its fantastic, i found my 2 bed house on there! (i know im a slightly different area but there might be some!) if you need any help looking just let me know! xx

I have to agree with some of the ladies, he should be helping you out, i couldnt imagine having to go through all that right now, i would really struggle

Hope you manage to sit down with him and discuss it properly, let him know how much this is stressing you out as he is being really unfair to you and baby Noa

xxxx