OH -- don't know what to do

[Lilelephant]

A year or so ago I found stuff on our laptop that Oh had downloaded that wasn't really to my taste shall we say. It wasn't just porn. I was devastated! And I told him I couldn't be with him cos it made me feel sick. He promised not to do it anymore and then a fewonths later I found some sites in the history of his iPhone browser by accident. This ripped me apart. Well just now he was up on pc and u went up to do something else and he was on his email he suddenly got really funny telling me not to breath down his neck etc. I saw an email that was from one of these sites saying download confirmation.... I pretended I didn't see and cane back downstairs but I feel sick. I don't want to confront him as I can't stomach a row but I feel so disrespected

 

[Princess81]

Oh dear
I think you'll have to face him about it though or else it will just eat away at you x

 

[Lilelephant]

atleAst it explains why I spend all my evenings on my own downstairs

 

[eldraW]

Aw big hugs hun.... I second what princess said, I understand what your saying but i think it will be better to get it off your chest hun.

xx

 

[Princess81]

It's just the sort of thing that will fester otherwise and become a bigger problem

 

[Lilelephant]

Think I will just go to bed

 

[cosmicgirl]

that's really shitty of him, he knows how you feel about it and you should mean more to him than porn x

 

[Young Mum 21 x]

i also caught OH looking @ things im reallyyyyy not down with a year or so back,
as discusting and vile as we think it is, i genuinly think men mean no harm by it,
i know its still upsetting tho!! xxxxxxxxx

 

[Lilelephant]

I haven't got a problem with normal porn tbh but this is a bit weird

 

[cosmicgirl]

You don't have to answer if you don't want but is it fetish stuff? My oh likes some of that stuff, it's not for me but I think men tend to like the more 'extreme' stuff don't they - he's not alone hun
Still doesn't make it right if he knows you are unhappy about it xx

 

[Young Mum 21 x]

i agree with Cos, men r into all sorts!! xxx

 

[Xcitedmum]

pretending you haven't seen it is only fuelling his addiction. You need to confront him - he prob doesn't realise just how awful it makes you feel but def sounds like he has some sort of addiction to it to me that needs to be addressed otherwise it will eat away at you x

 

[Lilelephant]

Yeh cosmic it is crush stuff I hate it makes me cry just thinking about it

 

[Kezzamunster]

Hun, I caught the OH getting ready to sort himself out over some video.......I absolutely hit the roof & there is not a hint of porn in the flat

The OH has had a thing about porn for the last 13 yrs & he knows how I feel about it & he's been told that if he continues then our relationship would be no more & it's done the trick

Like the girls said you defo need to talk to him

xxxxxxx

 

[Princess81]

I agree with what the others say, I mean if it really upsets you then it needs to be addressed, have you tried looking at it from his point of view? Just trying to see it from all angles x

 

[Sarah13]

I would confront him, will make you feel better if it's off your chest. Men do think differently though (believe me after being constantly round men for 13 years in the forces) they often look at stupid/disgusting things but don't always mean any harm by it, let him know how you feel again, they also need to be told straight, men don't pick up on moods and hints very well! Hope you sort it out soon x

 

[Lilelephant]

I did tell him this last time that he had one more chance obv means nowt to him

 

[cosmicgirl]

I agree, he needs to respect your wishes, he has a beautiful caring oh and he shouldn't be risking your relationship over some tacky porn xx

 

[Princess81]

Yeh, my o/h is in the forces and some of the stuff the lads look at is shocking but I don't think they consider that their o/h's will mind sort of thing? xx

 

[Princess81]

I guess if you've alrady told him straight then there should be no confusion x