zozo
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- Oct 7, 2010
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hi, i havent been on here in a while, but i was pretty new to begin with, so you may not have read my other posts. Sorry if this is really long, It just seems i've had one thing after another and havent really had the guts to write it down....I had previousy posted, heavily suspected I was PG, but kept getting just faint lines, and BFNs....ended up af a month late, still nothing, so went to docs, who took bloods and urine. Confirmed I "was" pg, requested i do anothr set o bloods 48 hours later. Went home, was very happy or a few days. OH then got the news that his aunt had died, so ended up missing my bloods appointment to go with him to the hospital, but called and made another appointment 3 days later...this was a very sad and stressful time for my OH, who hasnt really ever had a death so close in the family, and he was VERY close to his aunt..Literally 3 hours after the funeral, I had a call informing me sister had been in a car accident and was on life support in hospital..I was so upset, felt sick, and if im honest for a few hours, completely forgot all about little bean i was so overcome with grief...After 24 hours she stabilized, and she survived and is home form hospital now. I went home to snuggle up with oh, and fell asleep. I got up to go to the toilet around 3am (i think) and there was some pinky cm, but i had read so many threads on here I didnt panic as there werent any clots..so I went back to bed. Was woken a few hours later by the most horrible cramps..knew instantly something was wrong...went to get up, and (sorry fi TMI) but there was already bright red blood on the bed..oh ran me a bath, and gave me painkillers, and then took me to the hospital..I was scanned and MC confirmed. I remember just feeling utterly numb...at this point I was still upset about my sister, didnt know if she would get better or not, and it all just elt too much. Ended up haveing to have a D and C...It was really a horrendous experience all in all...To top it all off, ended up with an infection in my right fallopian tube, was again taken to A&E who wrongly misdiagnosed appendicitis, had emergency keyhole surgery (they put a camera in through y belly button to they could see where to go, so I have 2 scars) to remove it, only to find a massivly enlarged tube and my appendix fine. Luckily it was nothing some IV antibiotics couldnt fix. Ater that, things seemed to calm down..got christmas over with, but everything thats happened just seems so surreal! I miss my little bean, and I can't help wondering if I hadnt been under so much stress, or i id gone to my first doctors appointment then maybe things would have been diffrent. I cant help feeling its my fault...from measurements it seems like i was 11+3 when I MC...
OH and I have decided to continue NTNP, dont think I could face the BFN's when I know we've put everything into trying, so this is maybe the best way for now.
Im sorry for the long post, and some of it probably doesnt even make sense, but i really appreciate being abe to write it all down here x
OH and I have decided to continue NTNP, dont think I could face the BFN's when I know we've put everything into trying, so this is maybe the best way for now.
Im sorry for the long post, and some of it probably doesnt even make sense, but i really appreciate being abe to write it all down here x