not looking good

[nmf1987]

for oh's step dad. we found out a couple of weeks ago that he could have cancer. he has been in a really bad way.

oh text this morning and said he is really not good. it is cancer and waiting to hear how bad but not looking good.

oh's sister and 3 kids live with his mum and step dad at the mo although step dad is in hospital.

oh has offered to have his eldest niece tonight to relieve some of the pressure over there. fair enough but he hasn't asked me 1st and sounds horrible but i dont want her over here. she is so needy even though shes 11. im so tired all the time an it will be left for me to entertain her.

the other 2 are 5 and 4 so how does it makes sense to have the eldest. surely she is less trouble. sorry im moaning but if his stepdad is in hospital then to me it just seems like his sister yet again is making excuses to palm her kids off on someone else. she does it all the time.

of course i am upset and have everything crossed for his stepdad but why are we having to have her bloody kids. cant say anything to oh cos dont want to upset him. xxx

 

[midnight]

sorry to hear about his step dad

but on the kid front ive had my neices over before and never had a problem with it
it might be nice for your neice to get away from it as she will know whats going on and might feel scared and have so many things whirling around in her head, after all you said your OH offered and not your Sil saying please take 1, i think it will do the kids some good and your OH has done something nice for his family its nice that he takes an interest in them shows he has a heart

 

[xx emma xx]

It may be as well to give your OH mum a break from there being so many in the house. Your OH migh just be thinking that she needs some peace and quiet. Sorry about your OH stepdad, cancer is just horrid.
If your OH leaves it to you to entertain her then just have a word with him and explain your tired, you are 34 weeks pregnant so he should understand.
Xx

 

[xshauna_bazx]

Yeah i think Midnight is right about the age thing...she will know what is going on. I understand what you mean though about being tired plus having to entertain a 11 year old. I wouldn't say anything though as it might cause you 2 to argue and in the circumstances you don't need it. Just think its only one night...sit her infront of the TV with a DVD she likes or somthing. I am sure time will fly. Sorry about your OH's dad too. xxx

 

[nmf1987]

thanks. i dont want to sound mean. its not that i hate having her she is lovely. its just that im the one that has to deal with her and it is constant. she doesnt stop. think i might just say to oh that if we have her she will have to bring something with her to keep her busy cos i cant cope with hearing im bored every 2 seconds.

thing is i think sil has asked but oh said he offered cos i get annoyed that she never seems to want to look after her own kids. its not like she has anywhere to sleep either as spare room is now the nursery.

think im just tired and grumpy today. what with everything else ive had going on i dont need it. very selfish i know but cant help it. have had to take the attitude that all that matters is me oh and baby after my mum etc.

you never know it might be different i might like her being here. xxx

 

[xshauna_bazx]

Your not selfish hun! Pregnancy is so tiring and draining...especially when you can't move about as well as you used to. Its hard work for me to get up and go to the toilet. Wish i could get away with wearing a nappy lol. Just make sure she fetches lots of things to keep her entertained, DVDs, books, dolls or whatever she plays with. You could also put a game on the computer on for her. xxx

 

[nmf1987]

i think im going to suggest to oh that we eat out tonight. one less thing to worry about then. lol. plus wastes some time. xxx

 

[xshauna_bazx]

i think im going to suggest to oh that we eat out tonight. one less thing to worry about then. lol. plus wastes some time. xxx

Yeah deffo plus you get a nice night out too. I haven't ate out in ages...haven't even got the confidence to do that no more lol xxx

 

[nmf1987]

it wont be anything special. maybe harvester or something. i just cant be bothered to try and cook something she likes. lol.

god im so lazy at the mo. xxx

 

[xx emma xx]

Yeah that's a good idea and then she won't moan that she's bored so much.

I've got into that kind of mood as well where I just can't be bothered. My OH mum and dad and my mum and dad are over tonight to meet before baby comes and I really can be bothered. I just want to chill out in front of tv and eat.

You aren't selfish it's just the way you are feeling just now cos your pregnant xx

 

[midnight]

she might have to fight with siblings at home for attention so then when she gets attention from you she could become over bearing you could always engage in conversation about your baby ect and show her some baby things and stuff just to take her mind off whats going on at home i know my 11 year old loves seeing all her sisters baby bits that we have bought and what mum to be doesnt like talking about the baby haha if it gets too much just head off for a soak in the bath or an early night

 

[xshauna_bazx]

You have an excuse lol, i am too! Being on my feet for longer than 10 minutes kills me lol xxx

 

[midnight]

do you have any disney films?? get some popcorn cuddle up on the sofa under a duvet and have a film night im trying to think of things my dd loves to do

 

[nmf1987]

thats the thing. although she is only 11 she has had to grow up early cos of the way her mum has been with her. think we are taking her to my cousins tomorrow for a bbq as its her daughters 11th birthday.

she is one of these that likes drawing but wont just draw she will ask every 2 minutes what should i draw, thats too hard what else can i draw. i get to the point where im like ive suggested something if you dont want do it then find something else. even before i was preganant. she really is hard work. its actually easier to look after my 2 year old niece. xxx

 

[nmf1987]

oh just text she doesnt want to stay anyway. she will get bored. xx

 

[midnight]

aww bless her

 

[nmf1987]

oh god now we are having the 5 year old boy. xxx

 

[midnight]

lol leave that 1 to the oh lol

 

[nmf1987]

i will be with how im feeling now. xxx

 

[purplehippy]

Hell!

I can empathise because yesterday, OH's ex who he has his 9 year old son with, had the audacity to say we'd be having him for the beginning of the half term, yes, because baby will be around and you'll not be going anywhere, right?

I screamed blue murder and said no effing way. OH is in agreement and cannot believe she even asked. But she really isn't human, I can't begin to explain... But I've told OH that for at least the first fortnight I want NO ONE staying over, and don't want anyone visiting for more than an hour at a time if that, because having done it beofre and knowing what it was like, I want my space, quiet, peace, and the freedom to get my boob out anywhere in the house while I learn to boobfeed, to watch what I want on telly, when I want to, and I do NOT want his effing shitty kids channels on the whole time - he's as noisy as sin and I will NOT put up with it.

On the other side of the coin, I think as long as your OH takes control of the situation and doesn't leave it to you, then considering the circumstances, it could be a good idea to help - just explain very simply but firmly to the boy that you are very pregnant and therefore very tired and that your baby needs him to be as quiet as he can be, so the baby will let you rest. And I bet he'll draw better for you My nearly-4 year old is very advanced with her drawing and loves to draw aliens and people and spaceships etc, and if your OH did stick you with him, perhaps you could draw quiety together with some calming music on.

I had my toddler here sunday to wed (she lives with her dad) and though I was exhausted, I slept better than I have all pregnancy, without the help of sleeping pills that is! And she loves to snuggle up to my bump.