nobody gives a damn

[Dragonfly Fi]

I was supposed to have a midwife come round and take bloods, check I was okay, do some postnatal stuff, tell me what happens next etc and no one has phoned or contacted me. Spoke to the hospital who refused to answer my questions but said my midwife should have come round but couldn't get hold of me because I moved this week (i know, big week for fi). Anyway, that was 9am this morning, just wanted some answers, just wanted to know when to come in for bloods. How to get hold of my consultant for the post mortem results. What to do now. Feel like I have just slipped through the net 'your midwife has the wrong number for you, she'll be in touch ASAP'

Today 12pm 'hello no one has called me, is there somebody there who can just answer a few basic questions?'. 'no, your midwife will call you'

No one has called me.

Liam is too busy at the house we have just moved out of to even answer his phone. Mum hasn't answered her phone. No one answering the house phone.

Got my friend to pick up liam 'i am so ill and tired, I have so much work to do at the house, can't you see the midwife alone?'

I don't want to see the midwife, I must be such an inconvinence for them, stupid girl doesn't even mange to have a live baby, what questions could she possibly have. I dont want liam here 'just go away, go to where tour needed coz its not here'

So no midwife care, no husband, no mother and most of all no little baby.

Don't want it now. No after care and we won't find out about the baby. No body cares so why do I. Stupid girl getting in the.way. so many other things to do. Too many houses and live babies for us to deal with you. No body cares so why do i?

 

[netty]

awwww hunny, i felt like i was just part of a process when i MC, i ended up in A&E due to the pain at like 1am. When my OH called ambulance it wasnt considered important and i was told to wait 30 mins.....i was in agony. Then I ended up sat in A&E sat on a scabby commode passing my baby. DOnt get me wrong the nurses were lovely but noone told me what happened next, havnt heard from my MW I have had to get off my ass when i was tired and emotional and trip on down to the doctors 3 times to check all is ok.

I know how alone you must feel sweety, we are all here dont ever think you are stupid unfortunaltley as heartbreaking as this is it seems we are all just numbers on a NHS list sometimes.

Im sure your OH isnt meaning to ignore you, this must be so hard for both of you i wish i could just give you a big hug xx

 

[CARNAT22]

I was supposed to have a midwife come round and take bloods, check I was okay, do some postnatal stuff, tell me what happens next etc and no one has phoned or contacted me. Spoke to the hospital who refused to answer my questions but said my midwife should have come round but couldn't get hold of me because I moved this week (i know, big week for fi). Anyway, that was 9am this morning, just wanted some answers, just wanted to know when to come in for bloods. How to get hold of my consultant for the post mortem results. What to do now. Feel like I have just slipped through the net 'your midwife has the wrong number for you, she'll be in touch ASAP'

Today 12pm 'hello no one has called me, is there somebody there who can just answer a few basic questions?'. 'no, your midwife will call you'

No one has called me.

Liam is too busy at the house we have just moved out of to even answer his phone. Mum hasn't answered her phone. No one answering the house phone.

Got my friend to pick up liam 'i am so ill and tired, I have so much work to do at the house, can't you see the midwife alone?'

I don't want to see the midwife, I must be such an inconvinence for them, stupid girl doesn't even mange to have a live baby, what questions could she possibly have. I dont want liam here 'just go away, go to where tour needed coz its not here'

So no midwife care, no husband, no mother and most of all no little baby.

Don't want it now. No after care and we won't find out about the baby. No body cares so why do I. Stupid girl getting in the.way. so many other things to do. Too many houses and live babies for us to deal with you. No body cares so why do i?

Oh BigBump, I am so sorry you feel as though no-one cares.

I am a little angry on your behalf as I really hoped you would be getting supportive aftercare from your MW...

I asked you earlier if you were offered any counselling? If not I would suggest when you do speak to your MW that you forcefull ask what services are available. They should not leave you like this... But please try to get away fromt he notion that you are being treated this way becasue of what happened. It was not your fault. Sadly we live in a time when maternity departments are vastly overstretched. You are not being 'ignored' because of what happened.

Maybe you can check out a few other websites such as http://www.uk-sands.org/Support/Overview.html -

I know this is all very new and raw and painful and I know that nothing is truly going to ease your heartache but people do care. Those who love you especially.

Please, please give some thought to contacting an organisation that specialise in what you have been through.

xxxxxxxxx

 

[netty]

as well hunny i also felt like i didnt want my OH near me when I MC, but the important thing i have to remember is that it was his baby too. My OH went straight back to work after and i felt abandoned and angry, so so many emotions and i am still up and down all the time now.

Is there anyone who can be with you a friend or something? You shouldnt be alone hunny xx

 

[Princess81]

They way they are dealing with you is appalling. You should definately not be made to feel like you've been forgotten or that no one cares. People can be so insensitive, I'm sorry I don't know what else to say x

 

[Geminiblue]

OMG you poor poor thing, i just want to come round and listen to you and tell you its going to be ok, that you are worth every second of every day to people, that its not your fault, you are not wasting peoples time, you deserve better, they should be stepping up and helping you. You are not in the wrong, they are, i want to get their number from you and call them myself and batter then. You have people who love and care for you its a shame that they cant show it when you need it at times. Massive massive hug xxx

 

[CARNAT22]

I hope you have managed to speak to your hubby or Mum (or better still the bloody Midwife!!)

Try to get some rest hun

xxxxxxxxx

 

[Geminiblue]

let us know youre ok xxx

 

[Dragonfly Fi]

hello all i am okay. Shit day... really shit

Liam and mum came back after a few hours. I had locked them out of the house though...

finally let them in and they have been very nice to me since. Bitch arent i

it will be okay. Got to go on a friends computer. Hugs to all xx

 

[JJ Mum]

Ahh hun - I would listen to you all night long hun , you need the support right now - glad your hubby and mum have now switched into gear, think your OH must have gone into panic mode getting house move sorted so not to worry /bother you with it, and maybee now he realises, that it's more physiclaly being there for you that you need right now - Hugs X

Ask your OH to chase down those midwifes and consultant, they need to give you the aftercare you deserve.

 

[dyscochick]

Hope today goes a bit better BB and you get something back from the midwives you really should have their support,

 

[Hope81]

Oh dear I hope things short out for you

 

[netty]

hope you are ok today hun xxxx

 

[CARNAT22]

Hey BigBump,

Hope you are doing OK today?

xxxxxxx

 

[Dragonfly Fi]

I'm okay, was phoned last night by a midwife from the hospital who gave me a few answers. Nothing now til the y6 week check.

 

[Princess81]

I'm glad they finally made contact with you. I hope you told them
How bad they made you feel?
You know you have is here for the meantime. Look after yourself xx

 

[CARNAT22]

I'm okay, was phoned last night by a midwife from the hospital who gave me a few answers. Nothing now til the y6 week check.

I'm so shocked and saddend att he way they have treated you. I hope that in time to come when you feel up to it you are able to give them some feedback (or make an official complaint) to make sure other women do not go through what you did?

This is just an idea for when you feel stronger though.

In the meantime maybe your GP could arrange some kind of counselling for you?

Keep well

xxxxxxx

 

[Dragonfly Fi]

Just keep having moments of 'what just happened" and how? How can you grow something for 23 weeks and then it just vanish in 2 days? A week ago I was having a baby girl, chattering about pretty baby clothes and feeling damn lucky that we had made a healthy little boy and now we were going to have a little girl. All set.

Now what? I won't enjoy my next pregnancy I will be terrified. I'm going to be fighting coz they put me on a massively high dose of deltaparin and I'm not taking it again. Massively high, like double what is reccomended for a pregnant woman. Why? Why was I put on such a high dose? If that caused the stillbirth will they even tell me? Or will they just hide it? Who can give me unbiased advice about that? What do I do?

 

[CARNAT22]

Just keep having moments of 'what just happened" and how? How can you grow something for 23 weeks and then it just vanish in 2 days? A week ago I was having a baby girl, chattering about pretty baby clothes and feeling damn lucky that we had made a healthy little boy and now we were going to have a little girl. All set.

Now what? I won't enjoy my next pregnancy I will be terrified. I'm going to be fighting coz they put me on a massively high dose of deltaparin and I'm not taking it again. Massively high, like double what is reccomended for a pregnant woman. Why? Why was I put on such a high dose? If that caused the stillbirth will they even tell me? Or will they just hide it? Who can give me unbiased advice about that? What do I do?

I am hoping next time round that you will be consulted at every single stage of your pregnancy and can make your own risk assesments regarding what drugs you take and at what dosage.

Your after care has not been great but I truly hope with your next pregnancy you receive all the care, advice and support that you need.

There are no words and I am sorry that you are not getting the level of support you deserve.

xxxxx

 

[Princess81]

There are people who can help ask the questions for you at the hospital. You have PALS and ICAS and then the independent healthcare ombudsman who can all help you if you want to complain or have an instigation done into your treatment x