No sex!!!!!!!!!

[lotti77]

Sorry girls need to rant!!!!
What is wrong with him?? My OH won't have sex with me....
He works away alot but tries to come home for the weekend every 2 or 3 weeks. Now you would think that after not getting any for a few weeks he'd want some but NO CHANCE!!!!!
He says hes scared of hurting the baby and I've told him thats not possible but he won't have it!!!!
I've tried everything even diving on him but he lifts me off and says he can't!!!
We had a fantastic sex life before I was pregnant (TMI) but since January only 14 times!!!!! (I kept track of days coz TTC for 2 years)Its amazing we managed to conceive & only once since we found out bout bump!!!
My sex drive increases whilst I'm pregnant & this should be a bonus for him coz I know alot of womens drive takes a dip!!!!
Is it me am I just a fat, unsexy incubator for our child with no needs or desires!!! I've confronted him & he ignores the prob!!! Is he having an affair??? I dunno................... What can I do i'm so frustrated!!!!

 

[mary70]

alot of men feel this way hun dont take it personal, my oh didnt want sex as soon as i found out i was pg too.

 

[lotti77]

Did it get any better??
My arguement to him was that I'm only gona get bigger so it's gona get worse & I can't cope with that! Normally whe men go off sex its coz they're gettin it somewhere else but thats my insecurity as he's never given me a reason not to trust him!

 

[Barmi_Brummeh]

If he keeps sayin that he dont want to hurt the baby just tell him that havin an orgasm is good for the baby coz it makes baby feel good coz of the good things released wen u orgasm, thats what i told my OH, seemed to work lol. I will type out the artical i read it from (Outa a mag) when i get to ma mums. xxxx

 

[glitzyglamgirl]

sorry hun

I wouldnt worry that hes getting it eslewhere, chances are his right arm is getting a good work out while hes away!

Sooooo many men feel this way, I had to explain to a friend of mine recently that he wouldnt be touching the babies head (hes girlfriend is pregnant) atall, thats how niave they are!

Just load him up with facts so that he has no reason to worry and im sure it will be fine

 

[Sabrina]

I don't think he's messing you about I think he's probably genuinely worried it'll cause a problem if you have sex.

My OH felt like this in the early weeks too. When I got a bit further along (like past 12 weeks) we got back to near normal. Then I had a big bleed at 21 weeks and he went off it again for a couple of weeks.

It's great that your sex drive has increased but you need to try and put yourself in his position for a bit and be patient.

 

[Misslarue]

I wouldnt worry that hes getting it eslewhere, chances are his right arm is getting a good work out while hes away!

GGG you have such a way with words!! hehe

I really wouldn't worry. My OH was exactly the same. Before I was pregnant we were at it like rabbits as soon as I got pregnant, he didn't want to know. He later told me it felt weird for him as if he was going to hurt the baby. I told it wouldn't but he said it was a mental thing. I guess as nature intended, technically we don't need sex once we are pregnant I don't know, but I gave it a lot of thought!
As soon as Dan was born he couldn't wait to get down and dirty! Too bad he had to wait six weeks. Ah sweet revenge!

 

[trixipaws]

my boyf went right off me when we first found out i was pregnant- he was freaked out by my body changing from "sexual" to "maternal". but that only lasted til i was maybe 16 weeks or something and now its the other way around, i feel unattractive when i kiss him and hav to strain over my massive belly, i feel self-conscious when i feel it press upon him! but he's fine with it- i think men just need a few weeks to get comfy with the idea (or til testosterone overrides anything else lol!)

 

[leckershell]

i feel unattractive when i kiss him and hav to strain over my massive belly, i feel self-conscious when i feel it press upon him!

same here lol

it was my OH that told me it didn't hurt the baby not the other way round lol - i thought it might hurt it's head

 

[hannahbet20]

find some info for him to reassure him it will be ok to have sex hopefully that would work x

 

[mrs_tommo22]

If he keeps sayin that he dont want to hurt the baby just tell him that havin an orgasm is good for the baby coz it makes baby feel good coz of the good things released wen u orgasm, thats what i told my OH, seemed to work lol. I will type out the artical i read it from (Outa a mag) when i get to ma mums. xxxx

You were so reading out of pregnancy and birth wernt you? i read the same article and it said when you orgasam it contrats the uterus and the baby is relaxed and calm by this happening, and will experience the release of happy hormones!
But for me persoanlly sex is off the cards. Im too tired, and have lost my sex drive thid time around and i aint too pleased about it and neither is my hubby!
But never mind eh, he wil have to wait

 

[leckershell]

i try, but it's getting real difficult at the moment as i can't find a position that's comfortable, and it's starting to hurt i feel bad for OH but i think he understands.

 

[tuck]

it's not you, my DH hasnt touched me sexually since we found out, said he dosnt feel right and that he'll wait!!!! he is even scared to give me a cuddle cause he's scared of hurting baby, it did upset me a bit to start with but now I understand his point of view. try not to worry about it and ask him to show he cares in other ways, my DH is always kissing my bump or calling me to say he loves me and that makes me feel special

 

[lotti77]

Thanks for all your replies ladies I really appreciate it!!!!
My OH is home tomorrow for 5 days so hopefully I might get lucky
I'm not gona push the issue with him just give him some info bout it all & see if that helps He really is so naive bout all this being pregnant lark as its his first so I need to be understanding I suppose even if it is a nightmare & totally frustrating