need some support.

[dina.marie]

hi everyone. i havent been able to open up to close friends and family but i thought it might help if i wrote things down and maybe tell you so here we go....
i lost my little bean last week. i went to the hospital after a bit of spotting but i was sure i was fine, the docs thought everything was ok too. then two days later it happened. i never realised having a m/c was so horrific.

i thought it was just like having a very heavy period. i just escaped having a blood transfusion and i am only just out of hospital. they still dont know whether to give me a D&C, i have to go back next week.

i thought i was 11 weeks but the doctors thought i could have been a few weeks further cuz of how much i was bleeding. that would have meant i was more than 12 weeks!!! why did it take my body so long to realise something was wrong. or maybe i was having twins? ( twins run in my family).

when they took me for the scan in hospital and she told me my uterus was empty she said it was small so it could have happened some time ago. what does that mean? hours? days? weeks? i never really had any pregnancy symptoms. i thought i was just lucky.

what i find so frustrating (im sure im not the only one) is that i did everything right. folic acid, exercise, nutrition, stop smoking and drinking...even stopped caffine!... i know i was just the unlucky one in five but it just frustrates me.

every week i would look up on the net my babys development, bean could kick and punch, arch its back, it had all its fingers and toes and it could wee. i was gob smacked at that. i dreamt i was having a baby girl. and i already was getting a bump. strangely the day before it happened i thought my tummy was unusually flat.

my fiance was devastated but now he seems fine. im still moping around in my dressing gown with unbrushed hair. how long will this last for? im desperate to ttc again but i dont want to fall pregnant whilst im still greiving for bean.

has anyone been told how long bleeding can last for? and when they can start trying again? or when they'll get their periods back?

the hardest thing im finding at the moment is getting used to being not pregnant anymore. it took me so long to get used to being pregnant and feeling pregnant ive now got to get my head to do a u-turn.

wow that was an essay,. maybe it did help writing it all down. ..........

 

[Fluffy Bunny]

I have no experience of miscarriage but didn't want to read and run without giving you a couple of these

There are a few girls around who will know how you are feeling and will give you the support you need, you are not alone. The forum is a great place for putting into words how you are feeling (sometimes family and friends are just too close to the situation).

 

[Anna23]

hiya first of all although it may not help but i'm sorry, i had a missed misscarige (sp) and found out on monday, it does help writing about it i found and also being with people and talking about it seems to be helping me, i can't offer much advise becasue i had a d and c on tuesday night however i thought it might help knowing your not alone and wanted to send you these take care

 

[Slinky Sarah]

so sorry for your loss hun. I have now had 2 miscarriages, i didnt need a D&C either time.

I wasnt as far along as you either time (see ticker). Both times i bled very very heavy the first few hours (5 night pads per hour at least) then it tailed off after a few days...

i got told to wait one month each time but maybe leave it till you feel emotionally ready...hence why we arent trying anymore for a long time, neither of us can take it happening again knowing it could be a problem with my body with me having 2.

Good luck hun i hope it eases soon for you and you find the support you need on here take care hun

 

[Emma79]

Hi

I'm so sorry for your loss, just wanted to offer some of these

I had a m/c at 10 weeks last year so I can understand the emotions you're going through right now. Even now, I can still remember every little detail and just how devastating it was. All I can say is take it one day at a time; I can't pretend it'll ever stop hurting but it does get easier with time. Spend lots of time with the people you love, get lots of rest and look after yourself and most importantly don't blame yourself - sometimes you can do everything right and it still doesn't work out, you're not alone, even though it may feel like it right now.

As for the bleeding, mine settled within a week but I would say up to 2 weeks is probably the average. I think most people are told it will take between 4-8 weeks for your next AF but everyone's different (mine took 4 months ).

When to try again is totally up to you, some people are told to wait until their first AF but if you feel ready, then go for it. There's no evidence to say that you have to wait, your body will know when its ready again.

Feel free to PM me anytime, take care hun xx

 

[dina.marie]

thankyou for all your replies, they were all really touching.

i had the doc's this morning she was really nice and re-assured me i didnt do anything wrong. it sounds so daft but i ate a snickers bar the other week and freaked out because i forgot it has peanuts in it, and considering my fiance has asthma i was panicing that maybe it had something to do with it. it sounds so nieve but i guess i just need a reason, being unlucky isnt good enough.

my baby was due at xmas. i dont think it will ever be the same again.


really dont want to go back to work next week, still feel like ive been hit by a bus. and everyone at work knows. i didnt even want them to know i was pregnant in the first place but my manager has a big mouth and a rumour started. *sigh*.

how long is is acceptable to hide under the duvet?

 

[Trudyscrumptious76]

how long is is acceptable to hide under the duvet?

For as long as you want. I'm so sorry for your loss.

 

[clucky77]

i think it's different for everyone... i bled for a good week after a D&C.

I know it seems so unfair hun.... try to take up something you like and see if you can take your mind off it