Need a cuddle

[giggles1982]

Right here goes,

I'm 18 weeks pregnant and my life with hubby has gone major down hill recently, he has become very depressed over money situatation and is nor not working, I am paying for everything, working full time, running the house and taking care of his kids and the weekend - and i'm exhausted!!

I can barely stay awake after work and think I am becoming depressed also, had a breakdown at work the other day and couldnt stop crying, off to docs today and sure they going to sign me off work.

Tried to talk to hubby about getting a part time job to help out but he says he cant handle the stress, yet he wants to be full time carer of our child and i;m to go back to work full time after 3-4 months.

Personally I cant trust him and really dont want to leave my child full time or that early.

Tried to talk to him carmly but he stormed off hid under the covers, so I went to work and he was still mad when I got back and told me he was leaving when he found somewhere to go. Have not spoken a word since and he acting like a spoilt child.

Is it too much to ask for some support, he even says he not coming to the birth! Get the feeling he never wanted this child as he already has 3 and was at the birth for them.

I feel somewhat relief he is going, but actually scared he will change his mind and stay, Icant live like this anymore and dread starting all over again losing everything I have worked so hard for (again) and being a single mum back at my parentss house.

Him leaving means selling my house and leaving my job as I cant afford to work and pay childcare and moving back home to have my family support (they are all so wonderful)

Dont get me wrong I love my hiubby been married 18 months but he wants to exist , I want to live!!! My baby deserves better (I do but I never had strength to do it for me)

I guess feeling your hubby is with you for what you can give him rather than you and the fact we are having this child is so he could keep me is ridicoulous.

Never felt so alone in my life I moved away from my family to be with him.

Well there goes my life in a nut shell, support and hugs majorily appreciated by all.

Giggles (who has forgotten how to recently) x

PS through all this hassle and heartache i will have the most precious thing in the world come January, my bubba!! xx

 

[Danti]

Massive !!! He really does sound like he's acting like a spoilt brat! I'm sorry I don't really have much in the way of advice but surely being a happy, single mum is better than being a miserable mum in a bad relationship? I hope you get things sorted soon and fx he pulls his socks up and realises what he's about to lose! xx

 

[evie_smith]

xx

 

[FeeGee]

He sounds scared and wants to run and hide, becasue men can but we can't! I hope by the time baby is born he mans up and is the man you want him to be ((hugs)) xxxxx

 

[sgregory20]

Hey ya,
I agree With Danti to the max.
I don't believe this man is purposely being nasty or trying to cause upset. i believe he is scared.
i do think him leaving at least for a bit is a good idea for you both.
i really think he will see the light and come running back but you must know he will change first.
good luck and stay strong x

 

[sgregory20]

Hey ya,
I agree With Danti to the max.
I don't believe this man is purposely being nasty or trying to cause upset. i believe he is scared.
i do think him leaving at least for a bit is a good idea for you both.
i really think he will see the light and come running back but you must know he will change first.
good luck and stay strong x

 

[Maria1977]

Hope things are bit better for and OH has pulled himself together a bit. Lots of us live with depression and it doesn't give us the right to act like spoilt children, he need to realise this and start thinking outside the box, it's the only way he's going to be able to be a good dad. Otherwise, just thinking about himself and how he's feeling won't get him anywhere xxxxx

 

[MrsPain]

I'm sending you a big hug xxxxx

 

[Hayley1608]

Hey ya,
I don't believe this man is purposely being nasty or trying to cause upset. i believe he is scared.

Although i do agree with wss remember that this is not an excuse! Im sure there are lots of things that you are scared about but that doesn't mean that you have just given up and he shouldnt have either.

He does sound like he is acting like a child and should be supporting you through your pregnancy whether he has his own worries or not.

I understand that pregnancy can be hard and stressfull for the male as well as the female physically going through it but its not fair that you should have to carry everything on your shoulders on your own hun.

If he doesn't realise that he needs to work and support you and LO as well as his other children then maybe your right and you both do deserve better.

It's good you have a supportive family and i hope that you continue to enjoy your pregnancy regardless of whether he is around for it or not. I'm sure its so hard for you. Just remember to stay strong minded and think about what is best for LO.

Wishing you all the best and sending you a big fat cuddle!!!

xxx

 

[Geminiblue]

ok so you know the problem right! so live in the solution. You sound straight headed and strong in what you have put on here so......make a list with someone you trust, a friend or family member of what you need to do, then start ticking things off. Start with Citizens Advice on where you stand financially/legally and take small steps. You never know he may come to his senses by the end of your list but at least you have a plan and feel you are being positive about the practical situation as much as you are being positive about the joy thats about to arrive into your life.

Wishing you lots of love and hugs xxx

 

[giggles1982]

ok so you know the problem right! so live in the solution. You sound straight headed and strong in what you have put on here so......make a list with someone you trust, a friend or family member of what you need to do, then start ticking things off. Start with Citizens Advice on where you stand financially/legally and take small steps. You never know he may come to his senses by the end of your list but at least you have a plan and feel you are being positive about the practical situation as much as you are being positive about the joy thats about to arrive into your life.

Wishing you lots of love and hugs xxx

Like to act strong but just a little girl underneath who wants to be looked after, just been and had weekend with parents and felt like "home" again. Now back to mine and just feel miserable, not sure I even love him anymore, so sad, but not yet strong eenough to do anything about it (i will get there!!)

Plan of action

Tell hubby
Sell house
Tell Boss
Move back "home"
Have baby
Start Afresh

Unfortunately stuck at first hurdle.
Will keep you posted, thanks all for comments.

 

[stargirl]

Good Luck hun, Hope you get it sorted and just remember that your baby and you need to come first!

 

[Hayley1608]

it's good that you have a plan of action now at least so you know what you want.

best of luck with everything whatever you decide to do in the end

xxx

 

[Geminiblue]

oh giggles you poor thing. OK... so we all want to be looked after at some point in some way and the things on your list are just too enormous to contemplate thats why you are stuck at the first things, because leaving him actually needs some more thought first.. its tiny little steps ok. So did you get legal advice? start at that first honey, find out where you stand and thats when you can address exactly what you want to do. Could you ask him to move out? Could you rent your property out and move back with parents?Lots of consider before you actually tell him its over, thats a very quick very harsh step, make sure you are positive its what you want. I dont believe in calling someones bluff, mean what you say and say what you mean. YOu can do this but do it in small doses and it will help you stay strong. If you still want to leave him and be home with your family then do it honey but make sure that is really what you want xxx