age gap with me and Hubby

[sophijayy]

Hi.i am 18 and my hubby to be is 30 it doesnt faze us but some of the time it really comes between us as he has been brought up different to me.i just feel like he is acting like my dad sometimes and I get so angry I cant take it anymore.he patronises me and makes me feel like a child I love him to bits and would never leave him but I just need to find a way to tell him how I feel without hurting his feelings as he is quite sensitive.

 

[tinselcat]

I would find specific examples of his behaviour that upset you and relate these when talking to him.

You say he you feel he patronises you and it makes you angry (i.e. he is happy, wittingly or not, to upset you), but yet you are worried about his sensitive feelings? My best advice is to tell him straight out (guys in general don't seem to prefer the subtle approach), if he takes offence at an honest and open discussion then really, who is acting like the child here?

If you are going to be married I would highly recommend being able to talk to each other without worrying about it/how the other person is going to 'take' it (just based on past relationships).

xx

 

[Maria1977]

I agree, try and give him specific examples of what you find patronising. He probably doesn't even realise how he comes across because tbh I think men can be like that whatever their age, and when you explain to them what they said and how it made you feel they are normally surprised. Men and women defo are different species!!

 

[toriaw]

hi, I'm 18 and my boyfriend is 25 so not far off.
I think the important thing is that you let him know the kind of things he's saying that are annoying you. to remind him that you are in a relationship and he is not looking after a child. x