Names when married

[abcd1234]

What did you Or would you do??

I dont know what to do abotu names when we get married.

I wont take Daves surname, he's fine with that, it's not "his" surname anyway, it's his brothers dads and he's not a nice person (i wont go in to reasons but we dont like him lol)

His orginal name was Rose but he's not sure about it, i'd be quite happy to take that name.

Or his mum is now Smith and we could take that, but smith is really common

Or we could just make up our own name lol.

I dont really wanna keep my name, i want us all to have the same and i've had mine for 20 years, i want a change lol.

What did you Or would you do??

 

[jools221181]

I took Kev's name when we married but if I was in your situation I would probably pick a new one for all 3 of you

 

[clairescunny55]

i took his, i hated my surname lol

 

[Becky]

I took Chris' name when we got married but we both like it and don't have any problems with his dad so it seemed like the obvious thing to do. I agree that as a family it's nice to all have the same name so I think if I were in your situation I'd want to change someone's name to all be the same but which name to choose is difficult Could you choose a name that was a grandparent's name or something?

 

[Squiglet]

Spanish women don't take their husbands surnames. All Spaniards have double barrelled names, where its their father's name first and their mothers name second. When they have children they give their children, their fathers name... both the maternal father and the paternal father.

Spanish women claim its because its their name and their heritage so they shouldn't have to change their names... but I think having to queue at 4am in the morning at official offices to get a ticket to apply for any paperwork or changes might also have something to do with it.. I have an old residencia ID card, they don't give them out anymore, and if I would have taken DH's surname I'd had to have given that up, then I would have had to go to Alicante (an hour away) for 4am and stand in a queue until 9 am to be able to get a ticket to sort out all my paperwork, then I would have gotten a stupid piece of green paper which isn't valid as ID and then would have had to carry my passport around, which I'd also have to get changed, by going to the consulate (again in Alicante) and spend stupid amounts of money (100€+) and time getting it...not to mention the fact if I lost it or it was stolen with me carrying it around all the time, I'd have to fork out 100€+ to renew it... at which time if I was stopped by the Guardia while driving, because my passport and residencia weren't the same name, I'd probably get a fine... Sod that... I love my husband.. but its just a name. I'm still married and I am still his wife... and we have just incorporated the Spanish system with lil miss and her surname, so she has DH's name and mine

If I lived in the UK and it was as simple as it is there... I'd have changed my name, because I like the tradition... but its not worth it here tbh.

 

[aramintalovegrove]

I took DH as I wanted rid of mine (I actually changed by deedpoll before we wed) we did think of having my great grans surname as I loved it so much (lovegrove) and TBH wish now we had changed to that as having our own special name would be so lovely, but hey ho i get to use it as a username

 

[Noor~ul~Usman]

I changed mine, again because I'd never really liked it and the family had fallen apart. The side of the family it belongs to were only my relations by marriage not blood and although they keep in touch by post, it's the other half that actually see me I've not seen that side in about 4 years or more

I was also looking into getting a deed poll but then when me and hubby got married abroad it classed as legal (before we' just had a religious ceremony which made us married in our friends and families eyes but not legally. It needed approving - stamping - by one of only 3 places in the UK that do it for that and it was going to be a lot of hassle ) so I just sent off my passport, marriage certificate and an english translation of it and hey presto...name changed!

Strictly speaking I shouldn't have changed it because you children are meant to be known by their fathers so a lot of people use the fathers first name as the surname....it's not like a traditional surname....but I like it lol

 

[elaine22]

I'm going to take OH's name when we get married next year, because I want all 3 of us to have the same name and I hate my surname anyway!

 

[SarahH]

I took Brian's surname and dropped mine. My MIL has double barrelled her maiden name followed by her married name, but I personally think that is daft.

 

[Bee]

I'm taking OHs surname but keeping mine in there. It won't be used though, I just want to keep it there as it means so much to me

Finlayhas my surname then OHs

 

[sam96031]

my maiden name and married name is jones so didnt really affect me but i would have taken DH's name if they were different

 

[valentine]

I'm going to take OH's name when we get married next year, because I want all 3 of us to have the same name and I hate my surname anyway!

Ditto (apart from the getting married next year bit!)

Valentine Xxx

 

[mary70]

we took each others and double barrelled them

 

[Krystal]

double barrelled her maiden name followed by her married name, but I personally think that is daft.

Basically thats what I did when I got married. I kept mine and had my husbands on the end of it. Now i'm back to my maiden name. When me and Si get married though I will be taking his surname

 

[babsi]

Kept my name and Kai has both our surnames put together (they look a little weird together) lol

 

[widowwadman]

I'm thinking of double-barrelling my name. Horatio and my partner would just go by my partner's name, but I kind of would like to keep my German surname in between, as otherwise the combination of my German first name and English surname would sound a bit odd. But I do definitely want to add the bloke's name to it, just to show that we're belonging together.

 

[mrs_tommo22]

I took my ohs surname, stephen had it as well. But i wanted to ditch my surname as quickyl as possible!

 

[lea m]

I changed my name to OH's!
I have no idea what I would do in your situation though!? Probably choose a name that you both like and both change it! Then start off you family name from then on kwim!?

 

[trixipaws]

we're not married, but i was always for the traditional taking the fella's name. however i quite like my surname s------- but i didnt really like his original surname w--------- but as it happens nor did he and as he doesnt have the best of relationships (to say the least) with his estranged father he didnt feel a duty towards him to keep his name or anything.

so the idea was when we got married (we loosely planned marriage and kids in our 30's, not really before the year 2011) we would both change our name to one which he'd chosen, and i liked too, and both become b------. however as the baby came before the marriage, and we didnt want her to have his original surname, he changed his name by deed poll just before she was born. so when we do get married i shall take his name, but in a way its both of us changing names so i voted the last option.

 

[Kittykins]

I didn't change my name when we married. Didn't see why I should, plus it's far too much faff. Also my PhD is in my name, all my articles and conference papers are in my name, so I can't really change it (or at least not without 'losing' ten years of work). Maybe I'd have kept my name for professional use and taken his for family purposes, but it turns out it's illegal to have bank cards in more than one name, or a driving licence/passport in a different name from that on your bank account! Given I have to show driving licence/passport plus other ID every time I renew my library card, and I have direct debits for various work subscriptions, it was all just too difficult.

Still, it makes life interesting. I get mail addressed to Miss/Ms/Mrs/Dr for both my surname and DH's. I'm beginning to suffer from multiple personality disorder!