Mums Wisdom

[Tonks]

Thought we could make a lighthearted thread of all the things we've learned as a Mum Especially since as I write this, Nim has pulled down all my washed, ironed and folded laundry onto the yet-to-be-cleaned floor

Things I have learned:

1. If any of your things are within arm reach of your child, it belongs to them. End of discussion.

2. When your own mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway

3. You will end up sounding just like your mother, no matter how much you said you never would!

4. When your child decides to reach into their nappy, and take their poo and rub it vigorously into their hair like some sort of deep conditioning mask, I can now advise that baby wipes will only make things 10 times worse.

5. When you have been up all night with your young baby, and finally settled them at 4am into a proper sleep, that is the time they will have a poo so explosive that you cannot just quietly change them, but also have to strip them and bath them - ensuring they are fully awake again.

6. When your OH looks after the baby, that is when they will be on their best bahaviour, and he will pass comment that he doesn't know why you find it hard being at home all day.



Add yours girls

 

[Mervs Mum]

Never again will you get to have a lie on with your OH....it's on a strict rota basis....

 

[Princess81]

I haven't got kids, but did make a comment to a wee 15 year old skallywag the other day and said "now listen, I remember thinking I knew it all at your age, when you get to my age you'll see you were wrong", he says "yeah I know you're old, but not that old what are you 23 or 24"?

I'm 28

Wasn't sure whether to be pleased cause he thought I was yonger or mad because if he knew the truth he'd think I'm a dinosaur!

 

[Terrie]

ok ill share mine.

1. you will learn that drinking a cup of tea whilst its hot is a privalige NOT a right...
2. when your toddler is in his/her cot and you hear a loud thud on the floor.. its time to get a baby gate..
3. whenever you are rushing to go out is the time your child will choose to a)have a poo/wet their pants b) throw a tantrum b) giggle as they drop your car keys behind the radiator
4. when you look at your child and think 'is that chocolate!?....' its not...
5. if your toddler is being unusually quiet dont think 'ah piece and quiet' think 'what are they up to!'

 

[Mamafy]

When you take them shopping they think they're helping by chucking things on the floor as you put them in
Never ever ever forget to put the lid on properly on the baby powder, I went to the loo once and came back to 'its snowing mummy' All over everything, it smelt great though
You'll never have a tidy house again
Sleep is for the weak, kids learn you this

 

[Terrie]

sleep is for the weak so true!!!

 

[Princess81]

 

[Mamafy]

This is the official thread to put you off having children

 

[Rosie's Mummy]

The TV no longer belongs to you

The ultimate dilemma nowadays is wether to lie down and have a kip or tidy up and do as many jobs as you can - when OH takes child out for half an hour..

Giving in is the only option sometimes for peace and quiet

I agree with Terrie re the hot cup of tea..I dont think I'll get to drink a whole one again until Rosie is at least 10.

 

[Terrie]

oh yes the tv no longer belongs to you,
the minute you want to get jobs done is the minute your child decides theyNEEEEEED a hug,cuddle,to read a story, or even worse.. to 'help' you LOL

 

[Tonks]

Also, check trolleys, prams and bags when leaving a store as your child will turn into a little thief and be attracted to, and pick up the most bizarre, garish things possible and decide to hide them for later.

 

[Terrie]

so true!!!

oh and be ready for the tantrum when you try and take the item off them!!!

 

[Terrie]

a tissue is a mums best friend!!

 

[Mervs Mum]

Never ever ever forget to put the lid on properly on the baby powder

Or sudacrem......

 

[Tonks]

Never ever ever forget to put the lid on properly on the baby powder

Or sudacrem......

...which is apparently edible

 

[Mervs Mum]

yes and makes ANOTHER deep conditioning hair mask....

 

[Terrie]

and dont forget when you use gloss paint late at night and leave it on the floor in the bathroom to close the lid properly... (yes it happened!!)

 

[Princess81]

 

[Mamafy]

Also, check trolleys, prams and bags when leaving a store as your child will turn into a little thief and be attracted to, and pick up the most bizarre, garish things possible and decide to hide them for later.

It wouldn't be so bad if they stole good stuff but it's always naff stuff

Oh and your mind firmly leaves you and just to get peace in a supermarket you'll let them open a packet of grapes to keep them quiet, except whilst they're screaming you forget they've ate all the grapes and disposed of the wrapper like they do at home (on the floor) and by this stage you cba to find it so risk getting done for theft everytime you go into Asda Or would that just be me

 

[Mamafy]

Never ever ever forget to put the lid on properly on the baby powder

Or sudacrem......

...which is apparently edible

That brings an image of Wobbles' Caitlin into my head