Mother In Laws

[bobtheunfortunateone]

Hi Guys! Wow awhile since I have been here, but just needed to let of some steam.

Ok, while I was pregnant I let my mother in law know what I was up to every week as she lives a way, I treated her like a mother and a friend, and I thought this was a nice way to be but now her other son and daugter in law are having a baby and ours is now born all see talks about is them (we don't get on with them as the when we announced we were getting married a month later they announce they too were getting married at a simular time but it did not pan out that way and so they moved it forward and did not invite us to the wedding, yet we still sent them a card, but got nothing from them when we got married) They are having a rough time but mother and baby are well, but the mother in law is always call them, call them, but our son is now 4 months old and they have never sent us a card and did not want to hold him. So we do try but the have no interest in us.

Then I get a email from the Mother In law to say I sould call them as they have no family around them and called me bitter!

I'm not bitter, I am just fed up of being told to do this and that for them but the same is not expected off them, I just don't understand! I though me and the Mother In Law got on but obviously I was wrong.

Feel soo down about it. Any Ideas, should I call the sister in law, should we still go to see the mother in law in a few weeks, or should I save myself the stress!

HELP PLEASE

 

[Jaidy]

Definately save yourself the stress love. I would NOT be amused if that was my mother in law saying that!!! Sounds like her son and daughter and law have a bit of a problem...probably jealous that you were gonna get married before them thats why they brought the marriage forward etc. They sound really childish, you dont need people like that. However, if your hubbie wants to make amends perhaps you should think about it seeing as its his brother. Family can be soooooooo complicated lol!!
Your mother in law has no right calling you bitter, you sent them card for wedding etc and they did nothing for you, if anything they are the bitter ones!! I would explain this properly to your mother in law and see if she understands, if she doesnt well she is obv as bad as them. But talk to your hubby, cos its his mum/brother at the end of the day, see how he feels about contacting them. I hope this has helped???? Good Luck sweetness, families who would have them!!!!!

 

[bobtheunfortunateone]

Thanks for replying, I tend to blame myself for everything, My husband thinks I'm to kind to them all in the first place he thinks we should not bother but I feel that family is important, but I will learn that negativity is a bad thing for my son to brought up around.

Thanks sweety

 

[weestar21]

Hi hun i really feel for you i know how hard it is as im sorta the same only its my parents i havent spoke to them in over 2 years dont even know if they know colby is born anyway they drink all the time and were locked in prison over a weekend and cos my older sisters live in england i got a phone call to go get my younget sister while they were in prison i had her for 3 weeks and i got no thanx or nothing for it. I had to fone social workers becase she was telling me stuff i was disgusted by withought going into to much detail she told me she has been touched by 3 different men going into the house while my parents have been drunk and they done nothing about it, so i called social workers and typical they done nothing about it either so not only i dont speak to my parents but i have lost contact with my little sister too.

Just dont beat yourself up over it hum im sure theyw ill come running soon enough to you when the going really gets tough, keep your chin up xxx

 

[lauramumof2]

I wouldnt go round pet if I were you. You dont need these people, your husband is right. They arent doing much for you right now. The sil is being a bitch and the mil isnt any better.

I like to avoid situations like this even if it means being cut off a wee bit from people. All I need are my wee family and my friends.

weestar, sorry, that situation sounds like a ngihtmare. Have you tried the nspcc?

 

[weestar21]

hi hun no i havent tried the nspcc i just feel like whats the point now ive tried to help and just got no where the worst thing was she wanted to go back home so i couldnt force her to live with us

What scares me is shes 14 now and at that age well you know what i mean and if she has been touched up then whats going to happen next

i grew up with them drinking all the time up untill i was 15 i thought it was great all my friends loved staying and thought my parents were cool cos they let us drink and stay out till any time but once i turned 16 got a job i realised that my childhood was shite!! I worked in mcdonalds and every fortnight my mother would go to the bank and lift all my wages out and hand me £30 and they blew the rest on booze. Thankfully i met my other half just before my 17 birthday and i guess he must have felt sorry for me and he bought a house and we moved in together and i found out i was pregnant with adele anyway adele was born 12 weeks premature and we didnt know if she was going to survive and they turned up at the hospital pissed out their heads demanding to see their grandchild i had to get security to remove them. They never saw her till her second birthday when they came to our house drunk again and that was teh last time i have spoke to them.

sorry to intrude on your post bob but once i get onto the subject of them 2 who call themselvs my parents it just gets me so grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr lol

anyway i now have my 2 lovely daughters and i swear i would never treat them the way ive been treated, we dont have much money but i think the most important thing being parents is all the love you can give to your kids.

sorry once again

xxx

 

[bobtheunfortunateone]

weestar

Don't be sorry god they sound awlful, But I think it makes us stornger and better parents, don't you because I am determended not to make the same mistakes as my parents did with me, mum mum was never maternal and I was dragged up more than brought up! I too worked at Mac Donalds until I met my now hubby at 17 it must me the maccy D's magic!

But I hope you keep your eye on your sister, but at the end it is her choice you need to concentrate on your own family and not let the negativity into your childrens life! (God I sound like a hippy!) Thats what we are going to do cos our son Riley is picking up that I am sad.

Write back

Cathy
xxx

 

[weestar21]

Hi cathy i really wish i could say i am keeping an eye on her but i just cant because to get to speak to her i would have to have contact with them so i have chose to take myself away from it all but she knows where i am if she needs me but havent herd from her in so many months but i guess she will soon realise the same as we did too.
Adele doesnt rememeber my parents but if me and OH are talking about them its granny grotbags we name her as...lol but i dont really speak about them that often cos it just makes me mad.

all that matters to me is my 2 girls and making sure they have the best i can provide for them.

 

[bobtheunfortunateone]

lol Granny Grotbags lol That's such a great name! Might pinch that!

Best way to be I think! Life is normally pretty perfect if other people kept out our lives hey! Stupid family *Shakes fist* Thank god not all family and friends are like that!

Granny Grotbags lol I tell you if I had a emu I'd makes sure it would peck her! (I think It was emu? and a windmill? and hated all kids/brats God I should get out more)

TTFN

 

[lauramumof2]

Hiya Weestar,
Thats such a sad situation. Hopefully one day soon she will realise what they are and come live with you. And if there is any justice, the parents will wake up one day and realise how alone they are and thats its their own fault.

 

[weestar21]

Im sure they will wake up one day and realise but i think when that happens its going to be to late, my mother already has had 2 heart attacs has problems with her liver and yet all she does is brags about how much money she gets from the social makes me sick.

Anyway enough about them.

He he maccy d's must have that special thing going to write to them although it was a pain working for them but at least they brought me some happiness...lol

take care and speak soon

xx

 

[bobtheunfortunateone]

ended up going ended up coming home early, got too bored and missed by home luxarys like a kettle! This made th in law cry! She admitted that she as only spoke to her other daughter in law once in the past year So I told her that she should have counted her self lucky to have me! And we said that we try with them all the time but they don't care. The brother in law came to visit his dad the other day, still not got baby riley anything, didn't want to hold him and just talked about his wife being ill while pregnant even though his dad is as deaths door! So later My huuby called him up and got his wife, she said they didnot get Riley anything cos they don't speak to us, so my hubby told them that we have something for there baby and that he did not want to talk to her as we did not want her to get stressed! She said we were emotionally blackmailing her and hung up! Right little bitch if you ask me, just jealous. So no more! not talking to any of the selfish f**kers! Told My hubby Riley will not ever go near that sort of negativity! His brother finally held Riley but Riley cried, a good judge in character I Say.

Any advise? I'm I too sensative? I told that I any too honest and expect the world to better than it is! I have to learn. Shame really!

Speak to you soon

And Weestar21 let me know how you are too

byexxx

 

[Hedgey]

It does sound a bit like they are jealous but just try to remember that its THEIR problem not yours, if it was me then i would stay well clear and really make them grovel if they ever wanted to get back on speaking terms

 

[hev&madi]

my mother in law is doing my head in she hasnt said one nice thing about the pregnancy and the other day she asked my partner what names the baby going under so WHEN we split up she can still see the baby! how cheeky!!! were not even going to split up!!!

 

[nikki1306]

My MIL is such a nightmare my oh hasn't even told her yet,prob wait untill I am in labour .

 

[hev&madi]

lol

 

[bobtheunfortunateone]

Dam MIL.

Now my father in law is very ill (I get on with him) He is in a very bad way. But of course the Sister In law is more bothered about her self, guaranteed she is 7 months pregnant, but FIL as been in hospital for 1 month now and she as just come and visited and not held his hand or shown any concern just "Oh I'm tired""Focus on me everyone, I lost my dad and I'm Pregnant" Do feel for her alittle but I thing it is just the wrong time for her to have this attitude, I just don't talk to them, they have had no interest in our baby or when I was pregnant and we tried with them by getting there baby some clothes and she said it was emotional blackmail and he said they have enough clothes I would never take my views out on my son he can make his own discessions! Oh well moaned for alittle bit there

Speak soon
grrrrr

 

[violet-glow]

She sounds very self-centred. Think its a case of biting your tongue and just smiling through it. I know its hard not to say anything to them about what is getting on your nerves, btu they dont sound very mature. They just sound very petty. The way I see it, what goes around comes around. Some day they will really need you and you wont be there because they have pushed you away way to many times.

I bet most people can see what they are like. Think you will just have to wait for the day that they realise they are being complete and utter morons.

xx

 

[bobtheunfortunateone]

Thanks Violet glow, I always have to bite my toungle

Waited for 4 years for them to grow up, My Hubby says stuff them, it's to late and after everything is done with his dad then we never have to see them again because they have no reason to be here, neither of them will have any family here. So that will make things easier.

Thanks, I some times wonder if it is me being too emotional, which I know I am, but I am truthfull and I like wearing my heart on my selve but I just don't understand people sometimes.

Thanks for all your support, it is nice to know that I'm not the only one who as these sorts of problems.
xxxx

 

[lauramumof2]

bob,
they sound like a weird bunch and I can only applaud you for biting your tongue and doing your best to keep the peace.
Some people just do not want to be nice and are so unhappy in their own stupid lives that they cant see an act of kindness for being just that.
There are other people to benefit from your kind nature so share it with them and leave the misery guts to it.