Argh! Mother in law rant! (long sorry)

[Strangeness]

My mother in law is doing my head in! Basically she's been slagging me off to the whole family behind my back! I knew this would happen! Me and my husband got married about 3 months ago in Gibraltar, we didn't tell anyone we were going to do it because we wanted it to be our day and knew what people would be like if we told them what we were planning and they'd either guilt us into doing it in England or want to come along and we just didn't want that. So yeah we got married there and came back and told everyone. Everyone was great about it and said how pleased they were except my sister in law but we don't get on anyway so that's another story haha. My mother in law said she was pleased etc and I thought that's cool. Well now I find out she's slagging me off to my brother in law and my mate who is my other brother in law's girly saying we should have done it here and she should have been there etc. Thing is she never bothers with us at all, only when she wants my husband to do some work for her or when she wants to poke her nose in a cause trouble. I'm at my wits end with it, I can't handle much more to be honest. I used to get on with her so well but I actually can't bare to be in the same room as her now. She's done so many little things to constantly upset me and I hate it.

When my son was born we told my in laws to come up at 4pm to see us as my sister and brother in law had arranged to see us at 2pm. Well they stroll through the door at bloody 2pm when we told them not too, they never listen! They took over everything in the hospital and my brother in law didn't even get to see my son because my fil took him in the corridor to talk about the navy which upset me, my fil didn't even look at my son. Reason I was really upset was because my sister and bil moved to Gibraltar 8 days after my son was born and I wanted them to have as much time with him as possible but they didn't even get that 1 hour that I wanted them to have, it was also a huge deal to get my bil to the hospital as he hates them and he didn't even see my son

They've just done so much to upset me and I really don't want to be around them but obviously they are my husbands family and I don't think I can stop them but I can't take much more stress! I've already been treated for depression before my son was born and they along with my sil are making me feel like I used too and I don't need that when I have the most gorgeous son to look after.

(sorry it was long)

 

[weestar21]

awwww hun (((((((HUGS)))))))

How does your DH feel about it all, couldnt he have a word with them seeing as its his family, sounds to me like your really going back to that horrid side of depression (i too had it bad took me 2 years to get over it) really wish i could say something to make you feel better hun

anytime you need a chat just pm me hun

Take care hunny
xxx

 

[Strangeness]

Thanks for replying hun!

My dh knows exactly what they're like but he won't say anything because he's not the kind of person to let someone know they're upsetting him. He tells me so many stories from when he was growing up and what they did to him (lots of money was taken off him, when I mean lots I am talking £12000+ which he got from his real dad being killed, another long story!) I just can't even bare to look at them. I just wish they'd let us get one with ours lives like they always bleat about getting on with theirs! They've only seen my son 6 times since he was born and one time we went round my fil basically pushed us out the door because he "can't handle crying babies" I'm just really fed up of it, the whole bitching, the not caring about their own son and grandson and the general atmosphere they cause between the family. I've pretty much told my husband I won't be going round to see them anymore and he's fine about it but I know I'll be the bad one in all of this again. My brother in law's girlfriend goes through all of this as well so I'm not on my own totally but they don't seem to bother her so much, just seems like it's always me and feel like I am in a playground.

 

[lauramumof2]

Try to have as little as possible with these negative people. They are nasty nasty people and tell them nothing. You were quite right to do your wedding the way you wanted and that evil cow has no right to slag you off.
She is the bad one here, not you. Remember that.

 

[Strangeness]

Thanks hun I'm just so used to hearing what I've done wrong that I thought maybe it was me but I know deep down that it isn't and you're right they are nasty people!

 

[lauramumof2]

Of course you arent in the wrong. Im lucky in that I dont have family like that and I cant believe some of the nasty mil's that are out there.
They are nasty and stupid and in years to come they will be left without anyone as people just dont warm to people like that whereas nice people like you will always have friends.

 

[weestar21]

i get on reasonable with my MIL some things really annoy me and i have to have a moan on here but we do talk. Its my own mother i hate with a passion and to be honest when the time comes to say goodbye i dont think i could bring myself to do it. There is so much hate between me and her she has only seen Adele twice in 4 years both times she was so drunk i had to get security to take her out of intensive care and havent spoke to her since grrrrrrrrrr
sorry to put that up

 

[jenna]

It doesnt really matter what other people thought of your wedding as long as you and your DH enjoyed it!!

They dont sound like nice people and as long as your happy it doesnt matter!

 

[Strangeness]

Argh she's done it again! I'm so angry with her! It was my bil's 30th birthday a few weeks back. We all went round to see him the saturday before his birthday and his mum phones up and says "oh your borther is bringing your card round cos we're going away tomorrow" why she couldn't go round and see him that day I'll never know. So she was away for his birthday and didn't even phone him on the day to wish him a happy birthday. Then 2 weeks later they arrive back, my bil phoned them up and they said to him "we've got your birthday presents here, we got you the same as we got the others!" So for his 30th birthday he got a blackpool tower statue and a world cup t shirt which my husband got and his other brother and sister got. I was deverstated! I adore my bil, he's the only one who has been there for me and my husband out of the whole family and I couldn't believe how little thought went into his 30th birthday. I'm still so upset they could do that to their own son. We don't buy presents for each others birthdays but we still got him a lighter engraved from my son because it's his 30th.

She is such a thoughtless cow and I have really had enough of the whole thing! My bil has now told me he's had enough and is fed up with it all so he's doing what he did for years and not speaking to them anymore. His girlfriends mum got him lots of stuff which they thought about but his own mother couldn't be bothered. I know it's not about presents but there was no thought anywhere around his birthday. Even if I went away for my son's birthday I would have got his card to him before the day and phoned him on the day but it's "their time" according to them. They go on holiday 10 times a year so it's hardly like they don't get a break. And neither of them work so is hardly like they have any stress to need a break. Grrrrr sorry for another long rant, I'm just p*ssed off so badly about them.

 

[weestar21]

take a deep breath and count to ten hunny

Your better off withought them hun you could be doing withought all this stress and anger building up hun cos it will only make you feel worse and they sound like they dont give a toss how anyone else feels so stick your two fingers up to them hun and get on with your own life

As for you BIL b/day i think its a shame seeing as it was a special b/day!

its my b/day on friday i wonder what the evil MIL will bring except for round 2 im not sure

 

[Strangeness]

As from today I have totally cut all ties with my Mil! I just found out that she's been telling everyone that my husband marrying me was the biggest mistake he will ever make, so that's enough for me to tell the evil cow to p*ss off now. Funny how only yesterday she was asking my husband when I was going round with Aaron to see her, so two faced it's unreal! So that's it! I'm fed up with it all, I am so stressed it's not even funny anymore. My Sil phoned my dh's mate last night and told him she had taken an overdose (she's done this millions of times now) when he got there there was nothing wrong with her. He walked out of his job and everything just to make sure she was ok but once again it's an attention thing. I feel like I am living in a playground, my son is more sensible than them lot and he can't even talk yet! I told my husband I've had enough and that I think he should stick up for me more because if my mum said horrible things about him I'd cut all ties with her because I chose him. He's agreed that he's had enough of it all now and when his mother phones him he's gonna tell her to leave us alone and let her know what he thinks (finally he's become a man when bit comes to her). So we'll see what comes of that. The last two days have been so awful I just wanted to cry and walk away from it all. I sometimes read through what I write on here and must sound like a complete cow but I have to live with all this day in day out and it's gonna make me ill so it's easier for me to tell them all to get out of our lives. Hoping it will work! Thanks for being here again to listen to me rant girls, it makes me feel so much better just to let it out!

 

[Em78]

good for you!

i dont see why anyone should have to put up with being bullied just because its family. your life is just fine without her and all her c**p so i think you are right to cut her out of it.

Glas you dh is on your side. take care hun

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Cat&Noah]

Well I think your completly in the right, she sounds like a right B!tch. I think sometimes mums starting thinking they are the mother hen and superior and can talk to other family members as they please cause they are the boss. And there is no way you shouls have to put up with it. Everyone says how you should respect your parents and inlaws, but as far as Im concerned people have to earn your respect, no matter who they are no one has a right to upset you and be rude, so dont feel like you have to put up with the cow, cause it sounds like everyone else has, just have nothing to do with her and try not to let her get to you. Perhaps once she finds most of her family no longer speak to her, she might just learn her lesson!

 

[Tara & Liam]

how is it going strangeness is your mil still being a pain. i cant blame you or your dh or bil for what you have all done. if youre a naturally selfish person then having children will not change this.

i would never go on holiday and miss any of my boys birthdays, thats terrible.

good luck

 

[Strangeness]

Hey davina, good thing is we haven't heard from her! That'll only be because she hasn't got anything for my dh to do for her so she won't bother unless she needs something or slag someone off. Just glad she's staying out of my way for now cos I am still fuming with her. I wouldn't miss my son's birthday for anything! They only went to bloody Blackpool which they do 10 times a year anyway so why arrange it on your son's 30th? They also went last year on my due date and never bothered to phone to see what was going on with their first Grandchild. The only reason they knew I was in hospital having him was because my sil was in having an operation and I saw my mil in the toilet!

She is very selfish and her saying marrying me was the biggest mistake of my dh's life made me laugh in a way. Having a mother like her was the biggest mistake of his life more like. She's proper evil!

 

[Tara & Liam]

i get on ok with my mil now. when i first met dh it was a bit tense as

(you wont believe this).

she was disappointed as i am not blue eyed with blonde hair like hubby is. all she wants is a blonde blue eyed granddaughter. well besides mine she has grand sons, one has blonde and brown eyes. the 2 girls are bi-racial. but joshua and liam have blue eyes and liam is going blonde.

 

[Strangeness]

Why is she so bothered about the blonde hair and blue eyes?

 

[Tara & Liam]

well she always wanted a blonde and blue eyed daughter and my sil are all dark hair and dark eyes, my other sil, married to dh brother, she is blonde and blue eyed, so is their son, but she has trouble falling pregnant and carrying. i dont know why though, she keeps on about it.

dh last girlfriend was blonde and blue eyed, apparantely she was well liked until she treated my hubby like crap.

 

[jenna]

how can anyone be disapointed just because of hair or eye colour?

 

[Tara & Liam]

i know. but dh was her golden child.