Moaning...again

Discussion in 'Third Trimester' started by amanda maxwell, Jul 4, 2013.

  1. amanda maxwell

    amanda maxwell Well-Known Member

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    Just thought id have a tini tiny rant lol

    Basically I knackered! Me and the oh both work. After a little think ive decided to finish work on the 19th of this month due to my job. As a driving instructor im sitting in the bloody car all day and having idiots slam the brakes on, emergency stop practice and a couple of near misses recently. All my pupils are trying to get as many lessons in as poss before I go which means im still doing a 6 day week.

    Although ive got a few baby bits and ppl have kindly donated a few things to me I feel im really not prepared for all this. My oh wont let me use the spare bedroom as a nursery as his daughter stays 3 weekends out of 4. Our bedroom is a complete mess (he doesn't help) all my baby clothes and bits are shoved in plastic bags in a cupboard and generally the house is a mess. I really want to buy a little wardrobe for our son and get everything washed and ready, sort out the house especially the bedroom and generally start preparing, but after work im shattered and only get sundays to do anything.

    Ive got work to sort out, some numpty bashed my car on asda car park so I now need to get that repaired before I give the car back to the company, ive got to do my tax return and sort out a mountain of fuel receipts and to top it all off im skint!!

    The oh hasn't bought anything for the baby and when I mention it, he fobs it off with 'we've got till end of august'! but reading a girls thread on here, her having her baby at 32 weeks as shit me up a bit.

    Everyone seems to be so prepared, sorting their houses out, doing nursery, getting hospital bags ready and generally being really prepared. I feel so miserable that I just haven't got time to do anything and when I have, im too tired to do it :(

    Sorry for the rant but I really needed to get it off my chest.

    xx
     
  2. JoeyClare

    JoeyClare Well-Known Member

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    Rant away! I find it helps. I felt really unorganised a few weeks ago and it does feel really stressful. Hubby got offered a human punchbag from a neighbour that was moving away and rather than say, thanks for the offer, but our spare room is about to become a nursery- he said yes! I came home from a long day at work to find it in the middle of the Nursery. I actually cried. He finally got rid of it today when he realised how upset I was getting about it.

    I've just got my bag sorted now (near enough) and now need to wash all of baby's things for the baby bag. I'd recommend finding a list of things to get. I used one on the Boots website, put anything you need that you already have in a bag and make a list of things to get and where to get them and then just pick them up over the next few weeks.
     
  3. Lydia

    Lydia Well-Known Member

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    Wow working 6 days a week is a lot when you are 32 weeks pregnant! Only 2 more weeks to go! I try not to drive too much anymore as somehow I can't focus the last few weeks and had a few 'nearly accidents'. Getting scared to drive now. Are you still able to focus on driving?

    Most August mummies have started packing but have not finished it yet. I've just made a list and that's it. Can start with the nursery next week after our visitor is gone.
    Can't you talk to your OH to tell him how you feel? Getting everything ready is such a big part of preparing yourself for everything and to get very excited.

    Hope the last 2 weeks at work will go well. Not long before you can enjoy leave! xx
     
  4. k8_005

    k8_005 Well-Known Member

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    Don't worry I think it's good to rant what is your hubbys plans for baby at 6 months are you moving house too as just wondering if he won't let you have a nursery where baby will sleep then onwards? I understand his logic but babys don't come to plan and while u prob have got till end of august you may not have! Best to buy bits and pieces as you go along maybe see if your mum or a friend will go baby shopping with you? Its tough when you are tiered. I would stick a baby load of washing on before you go to bed so it's ready to be hung out the next day you will feel much better for having done something. I think as well it's good to pack your bag and babys bag but it doesn't have to be done in one go its taken me a while to get mine in order and iv only added the last few bits the other day so your ok. Start by thinking of packing a towel and some Asda/Tesco value cheap black pants. Mayb buy a spare toothbrush and paste too and stick those in. Also throw in mat pads and breast pads then you are halfway there. Then next week add a bit more or buy bits u need. It's hard when you are still working I know maybe just take ten mins to order stuff online even for baby or you it will beuch easier once u finish work I had done barely anything pre work finish and now have a little potter and do a wash or put stuff away etc as I go. Big hugs xxx
     
  5. amanda maxwell

    amanda maxwell Well-Known Member

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    Phew at least im not the only one. Everyone seems to be getting things sorted and baking cakes lol I have just about time to hoover!!

    Glad your finally getting sorted hun. The punch bag did make me laugh. Sounds about right huh and just like my oh :) We wasn't trying for a baby, it just happened. Its my first and for my first id always thought everything would be perfect...but that's never the case.

    Thanks :) xx
     
  6. .Ruth.

    .Ruth. Well-Known Member

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    oh nooo *big hugs*

    good on you for stopping working early... not an ideal job when you're 8 months pregnant!

    Maybe sit down with your OH and just go through all the things that need doing before the baby is here. I've got a huge spreadsheet of stuff that we needed to buy... checklists for hospital bags the lot. I think until you look at everything that needs to be sorted it's easy to be like 'oh we've got ages yet'.... My OH is very much like this and has only recently started to be on board with preperations etc.

    Think it's a bit unfair that you cant have a nursery for the baby, but wait until he's born (will be in moses basket for months anyway) and then mention it again. My man loved decorating the nursery and I'm sure once he's born and daddy has a new son he'll want to do anything to make both of you happy.

    Men are different to us and it is shit but just make sure you're happy with decisions too.

    I don't have any advice regarding money issues but umbongo seems like the bargain queen.. speak to her haha

    Not long now until you finish work and then nesting can kick in and your house will be ready for your little man! xxx
     
  7. amanda maxwell

    amanda maxwell Well-Known Member

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    We're in a rented place at the moment. Baby wasn't planned so I thought we would only be in here for 6 months, but I got pregnant immediately after moving in so the 2 bed, just for us and his daughter every now and then was perfect. I know his daughter is a big part of his life but out baby is gonna be in 24/7. We now cannot afford to get our own place so we'll be here for a while. Ive bought the baby a mosses basket to sleep in in our room (that's still in the wrappings lol) and ive mentioned to the oh about what we'll do when the baby gets to an age where id like him in his own room. I said id like to make the spare room into his room, but he fobs it off saying we'll sort something out nearer the time and that we might be in our own place, but I doubt it very much. I cant have any say over his precious daughter! Shes lovely, but he wraps her in cotton wall and im beginning to resent her.

    I think that's the main problem for this rant tbh. Ive ranted about this before and the girls have kindly suggested stuff but it doesn't make a blind bit of difference to him.

    As soon as I leave work, I will have some extra time, so hopefully i'll be in a better position to sort stuff out.

    Thank u girls x
     
  8. amanda maxwell

    amanda maxwell Well-Known Member

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    Well I only moved to Leicester from London last October, moved into a rented in November then quickly became pregnant. 2 bed place was all we could afford at the time and it was only gonna be for a short period. My mum and dad have moved from London to Suffolk and they don't drive. All my friends are in London. My job isn't the most social of jobs as I mainly teach 17 year olds and its difficult to make new friends so my oh is all I have.

    Ive bought a few things here and there but still haven't got the main bits, not even looked for a pram yet.

    Fingers crossed when im finally off and after everything is sorted out I can finally relax and get the little bits, bit by bit.

    Thank u xxx
     
  9. amanda maxwell

    amanda maxwell Well-Known Member

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    He just doesn't 'get it' and everytime I mention anything to do with this, he just thinks im constantly moaning!

    Its lead to a good few arguments and I hate arguing. But nothing seems to sink in ffs, hes doing my head in lol

    Hopefully when the baby comes along things will change huh.
    xxx
     
  10. umbongo

    umbongo Well-Known Member

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    Don't panic. Firstly there's not millions of things baby actually NEEDS straight away. Clothes, nappies, somewhere to sleep and you. If your bf even better as, you don't need bottles or milk.
    I'm lucky I only work part time so had more time to find bargains and wash clothes etc. We've not painted the nursery though and the bedrooms are all a mess so being told to rest is almost stressful for me! Ha.
    Anyway, if baby came really early your family would pitch in getting what you need and so would your OH I'm sure. So don't worry. You've got good parents who would step in to help if needed I'm sure. People love to pitch in.

    Have you got a list of things you need? I have a spreadsheet, (geek) so I keep track. Maybe try and involve OH, as he's done it before! My hubby hasn't gone and bought anything of his own volition for baby either, but then I'm quite controlling of what I want.

    Try not to stress and be willing to say no to pupils if it's too much. No point killing yourself working now!
    Two weeks then you can focus on everything you need to do. Make a list, that'll help.

    Xxxx
     
  11. amanda maxwell

    amanda maxwell Well-Known Member

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    Thanks babe. Spoke to my sis in law today and she said she would help me make a list and sort out everything I need. she's a diamond. Its just a bit poo when I really wanna to it with my mum or my bessie, but nevermind.

    U know when it just feels like, your the only worried about stuff and getting prepared. Sy's so friggin laid back it tends to get annoying. Im usually so in control and so prepared, im not used to not having the time or when I have being too tired to do it.

    Cant wait to finish work, only have a couple of weeks to go so will hopefully get a little more sorted and feel a bit better.

    Thank you xxxx
     

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