Missed miscarriage

[kaz1983]

Hi all

Firstly I am sorry for your losses

I went for my 12 week scan on 1st September to be told that baby had stopped growing at 9 weeks and there was no heartbeat - the words that came out the sonographers mouth that day still ring in my head "its not good news today"

I was given the options of medical, surgical or natural management. I took the medical option as I am too scared to have an anaesthetic and waiting for it to happen naturally would have been even more painful. Dealing with the medical option wasn't a bed of roses as I couldn't help but think I was killing my child even though there was no heartbeat it took a while to not think that way

I went into hospital had the pessaries they didnt work had the tablets (which maternity unti had said at scan I wouldnt need as it was already away in their words) boy did the tablets work !! not an experience I would like to go through again. I passed most naturally but they had to remove te placenta and remainder of products the next day and I was allowed home.

Physical aspect I was over very quickly but the mental aspect is still very raw though with a 2 year old tod-tod (as Elise says) there is no time to think about things which ina way is good. In another way I need to get all these feelings/anger etc out of my head so I have asked to be referred to a counsellor.

I just wondered if any of you ladies who have been through this horrible experience have any advice and how you coped. I feel on the whole I am coping well as do my friends but it is always at the back of my mind.

We started trying again almost instantly and that is what is keeping me going the fact we are working on minion mark 2.1. Urine and blood tests for three weeks after were inconclusive but levels have now dropped to that of a non pregnant lady. I have three charms on my bracelet in memory of minion mark 2 so feel that he/she is always with me and I plan to release a balloon on what would have been my due date

Thanks in advance xx

 

[RhondaLou]

Sweetheart I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. If I'm honest I don't think I will ever completely get over our loss. But it does get easier to cope with as time goes on.

It sounds like you have already accepted in your mind what has happened. You have marked the loss and are trying again. And councelling is a great idea. I thought I was 'over it' and tried to carry on but then took a nose dive mentally a few weeks later.

I meditated regularly to help me stay calm. A guided meditation is better to stop your mind from wandering into the subject you are trying to recover from. Lavender oil helped to soothe me and grapefruit oil is a great pick me up. Just be careful if you are ttc as essential oils can be dangerous.

I wish you all the best hun. Go easy on yourself xx

 

[kaz1983]

Thanks rhondalou

I think its a case of its happened noone knows why and with a toddler i cant just lie down and let it take over me. I do keep track of how far id have bn now but im keeping focused i know what i want and how to get it and although we are trying its not treated like that as too much pressure

i know the counselling will be hard but i need to get things out to someone who doesnt know...someone that wont mind me shouting at them

Thanks again xx

 

[Sunbeam638]

Hi Kaz

So very sorry to read about your loss and not finding out until the scan both times I mc'd was before LO came along and I had time to think where as like you said its good if you can speak to someone as there's not time otherwise with a toddler.

Thinking of you xxx

 

[kaz1983]

Thanks sunbeam

Sorry for ur losses it must hav bn so much harder to deal with

Things are starting to whizz round my head as its 6weeks since miscarriage an no sugn of period ...the odd pregnancy symptom rears its head an im left wondering wats goin on....will give it till i get ma bloods checked again and will see what levels are doing liver wise as they always improve wen im pregnant xx

 

[JJ Mum]

Oh Kaz i'm so sorry for your angel baby loss xx

Yours was just like mine in 2010 12 week scan, baby dated at just 9 weeks and no hb.
Booked in for d&c and while waiting the week it all kicked off and I ended up in a diff hosp a&e with blood transfusions in a mess and d&c anyway !

Time really does help, but like your doing the best thing for me was to ttc again, like I had to get pregnant again to not have a break from it, I wish you every luck with this. 26 days after eprc first period arrived , so no bfp but i don't think I ovulated or ovulation date changed etc, i was gutted when it arrived but then got back to it ttc and you are fertile after mmc as all primed and ready and fell next cycle with my son.

I like you wanted to release a balloon, which I could'nt bring myself to do on the dd, i did it the next year on the next due date anniversary and released a pink and a blue ( well my little son released them!) take pictures as they fly awsy as I treasure these when I want to think back. I did buy a rose on my dd tho and its called sweet remembrance , it 's yellow and flowers in sept and march ( dd and mmc dates!)

It will get easier, keep talking to us on here, it's theraphy xxxx

 

[Melily24]

I'm very, very sorry for your loss. It sounds like you are doing everything you can to move on (without forgetting your baby).

This past Thursday would have been the 5th birthday of my first pregnancy - a mmc. That baby is never out of my mind. I have a little charm for her on my bracelet as I do for my 2 LO's that came after. I still need to buy one for my mc in June, but just can't bring myself to do it yet. I've actually taken the bracelet off as I don't want to think about it. But I will do it when I feel ready.

It took about 7 weeks after my mmc for my period to return and about 6 months before we fell pregnant again with our sweet DS.

I coped by talking about it (hubby put it out of his mind, which was hurtful, but it was his way of dealing with it) with my friends. No one knew I was pregnant, not even my family, so it was strange having to tell them I had a mmc when they didn't even know I was pregnant.

Do you know when you have your first app with a counsellor?

Sending you lots of hugs. xxx

 

[laurat]

Im so sorry for your loss! It truely is the worst experience in the world? Take care of you and you oh and lo!

 

[kaz1983]

Oh Kaz i'm so sorry for your angel baby loss xx

Yours was just like mine in 2010 12 week scan, baby dated at just 9 weeks and no hb.
Booked in for d&c and while waiting the week it all kicked off and I ended up in a diff hosp a&e with blood transfusions in a mess and d&c anyway !

Time really does help, but like your doing the best thing for me was to ttc again, like I had to get pregnant again to not have a break from it, I wish you every luck with this. 26 days after eprc first period arrived , so no bfp but i don't think I ovulated or ovulation date changed etc, i was gutted when it arrived but then got back to it ttc and you are fertile after mmc as all primed and ready and fell next cycle with my son.

I like you wanted to release a balloon, which I could'nt bring myself to do on the dd, i did it the next year on the next due date anniversary and released a pink and a blue ( well my little son released them!) take pictures as they fly awsy as I treasure these when I want to think back. I did buy a rose on my dd tho and its called sweet remembrance , it 's yellow and flowers in sept and march ( dd and mmc dates!)

It will get easier, keep talking to us on here, it's theraphy xxxx

I'm very, very sorry for your loss. It sounds like you are doing everything you can to move on (without forgetting your baby).

This past Thursday would have been the 5th birthday of my first pregnancy - a mmc. That baby is never out of my mind. I have a little charm for her on my bracelet as I do for my 2 LO's that came after. I still need to buy one for my mc in June, but just can't bring myself to do it yet. I've actually taken the bracelet off as I don't want to think about it. But I will do it when I feel ready.

It took about 7 weeks after my mmc for my period to return and about 6 months before we fell pregnant again with our sweet DS.

I coped by talking about it (hubby put it out of his mind, which was hurtful, but it was his way of dealing with it) with my friends. No one knew I was pregnant, not even my family, so it was strange having to tell them I had a mmc when they didn't even know I was pregnant.

Do you know when you have your first app with a counsellor?

Sending you lots of hugs. xxx

Im so sorry for your loss! It truely is the worst experience in the world? Take care of you and you oh and lo!

Thanks girls so sorry for your losses - its took me to now to post on here (apart dae the fact i forgot my password lol) oc health sed it would be too raw to see a counsellor but feel i need to get things out not got a date yet hopefully soon tho

Im 38 days since i was in for mnc dunno how much longer i should wait before seeing a doc again as thats over 7weeks ive had like tiny spots of pale blood but i cant bring myself to test so il jus keep waiting

So glad i found this forum as was so helpful wen i had my (not so) little girl and it is so helpful now xxx

 

[CARNAT22]

Sorry Kaz no real words of wisdom, just wanted to say that I am sorry for your loss.

I've had my fair share but always early and always natural (which if you "have" to suffer a loss is by far the best way??)

I think counselling is a good idea, by the time you get to the dating scan you have attached hope and dreams to the baby and it much be such a blow to be told bad news.

Just take each day at a time and focus on the positives - your little girl, your OH and of course TTC again. It's not a replacement for your lost bean, it's just a different path you are on now.

Take care of yourself hun

X

 

[kaz1983]

Thanks carnat i remember wat you went thru wen i was on here first time round realli nice to see ur pregnant again

Each day is a bonus wen i dont cry i jus never had any signs of anything bein wrong but looking bak there were probably signs

Period has arrived today an i thot i was oki with it but its starting to hurt now but its the nxt starting point xx

 

[Sunbeam638]

It's such an emotional roller coaster right now for you. I was really up and down for a while. I still keep the congratulations card I had from my SIL behind a photograph of my nan as a keep sake. I was sorting through boxes we has to put in storage and came across it today, was lovely knowing it was there. Any stage of mc is sad, I feel sad reading stories of others going through it.

Make sure you take painkillers incase it's very heavy. Sending big hugs xxx

 

[kaz1983]

It's such an emotional roller coaster right now for you. I was really up and down for a while. I still keep the congratulations card I had from my SIL behind a photograph of my nan as a keep sake. I was sorting through boxes we has to put in storage and came across it today, was lovely knowing it was there. Any stage of mc is sad, I feel sad reading stories of others going through it.

Make sure you take painkillers incase it's very heavy. Sending big hugs xxx

Thank sunbeam its nice to have a keepsake of your angel baby we have the scan picture that I carry around with me

Well the period saga is that it was there for like one wipe (sorry tmi) na dthen there has been nothing since. I stupidly thought I would be ok to have an alcoholic drink (even though I am not really meant to) but now that period was there for like one wipe Im now worried in case I have got pregnant again and that is the reason for the length of time since bleeding.

I know people unknowingly drink before they know they are pregnant but Im just a natural born worrier anyway but even more so since the miscarriage.

The other thing that is making me think I could be is that my liver blood levels only improve when I am pregnant and they improved two consecutive occasions.

Do you think the little alcohol I had (one archers and two shots) will have done any harm if I am

Hubby and I just keep trying thats all we can do xxx

 

[RhondaLou]

Honey I don't think it would have done any harm you didn't drink too much it's not like you were blind drunk and out on the town flashing ya knickers. When can you test then this sounds quite positive xx

 

[kaz1983]

Honey I don't think it would have done any harm you didn't drink too much it's not like you were blind drunk and out on the town flashing ya knickers. When can you test then this sounds quite positive xx

Lol no certainly didny flash anything

My body is playing wi me had the tiniest bit of pink spotting yesterday and having some light cramps but nothing more bleeding wise. It will be six weeks tomorrow since I was in hospital miscarrying so I am not sure how long I should wait as I have read it can take up to eight weeks for periods to return but I thought with the slight bleeding and spotting I have had it would have continued as my friend who lost her baby just before me said her first period was horrendous so I was preparing myself for that. I know everyone is different. Im trying not to stress as I know that can delay a period too so gonna give it till eight weeks after and ask the doc.

Im still being careful at work not lifting anything heavy or that and still avoiding cerain foods just in case

Thanks again for your advice xx

 

[jcox]

Hi there, I had a missed miscarriage back in November last year, like you I found out at 12 week scan and my baby had died about 3 days before. I went for the ERPC and as you say the physical side is ok but mentally and emotionally I was a mess. But my 2 year old got me through it. We started trying again and I fell pregnant the following January and my beautiful little girl was born 6 weeks ago. I'll never forget the little one I lost and it just brings it home what miracles my two babies really are. The next time will be good news for you as it was for me I'm sure.x

 

[kaz1983]

Hi there, I had a missed miscarriage back in November last year, like you I found out at 12 week scan and my baby had died about 3 days before. I went for the ERPC and as you say the physical side is ok but mentally and emotionally I was a mess. But my 2 year old got me through it. We started trying again and I fell pregnant the following January and my beautiful little girl was born 6 weeks ago. I'll never forget the little one I lost and it just brings it home what miracles my two babies really are. The next time will be good news for you as it was for me I'm sure.x

Sorry for ur loss - its horrible everything that goes wi ut ive just had to take maself away to bed to save me losing ma temper but its only ended in me crying im so scared of everything right now i hate the person its made me become an until im pregnsnt again im gonna b sumone i hate i hope gp can give me a definite answer xx

 

[summer15]

Thinking of you today - I know you won't get answers today but hope doctor is helpful and refers you for blood tests etc. Let us know how you get on, stay strong.
Xxx

 

[kaz1983]

Thinking of you today - I know you won't get answers today but hope doctor is helpful and refers you for blood tests etc. Let us know how you get on, stay strong.
Xxx

Thanks Summer I was swithering whetrher to ask for a scan but with it only being 7 weeks since mc if I am I would only be a few weeks so prob too early to scan

I will let you know once I am back later this afternoon appt is at 12.20

How are you feeling?xxx

 

[summer15]

I'm doing ok thank you. I went and got my hair cut today - feeling a bit more human after spending 3 days in my pyjamas.
Yea if you are pregnant then I imagine an HCG blood test will be better at identifying it at this early stage anyway. How did you get on?
Xxx