Discussion in 'Relationships' started by maybebaby, Dec 16, 2007.

  1. maybebaby

    maybebaby Well-Known Member

    May 9, 2006
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    I have a bit of a problem with my mother in law (who doesn't :roll: ). She's normally really nice and I get on well with her. Austin loves her and she's really good with him. The problem is, she's started being really bitchy about other members of the family to me. I always try to ignore her and change the subject but sometimes she just won't be budged! It's starting to make me really uncomfortable.

    I get on really well with OH's SIL, but she's the one my MIL bitches about the most - she's always critisizing her clothes, hair, how their daughter dresses etc. I'm also wondering if she bitches about me the same way?

    How can I get her to stop? I really don't want to confront her because she will hold a grudge for a long time.
  2. lauramumof2

    lauramumof2 Well-Known Member

    Dec 11, 2005
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    I can understand you not wanting to get confrontational. All I could suggest is either to continue doing what you are doing and try to ignore/ change the subject or say to her that you arent comfortable getting into that sort of discussion about your SIL. She is being very unfair to you but some people are just naturally bitchy and need to be reminded sometimes to wind their neck in.

    I hope you can resolve it. And if she takes offence with you then she isnt worth bothering about because you are only being nice.
  3. Tillytots

    Tillytots Well-Known Member

    Aug 3, 2007
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    Ive been in this situation many times with family and bitching. The way I always deal with it is when the bitching starts, for instance...

    BITCHA: Oh my god have you seen her hair....bla bla bla bitch bitch bitch
    ME: Yes I really like it

    A simple "I really like her/him" and "Im suprised that you dont" usually works a treat. You have to be very careful how you say it though, else it can make things turn very ugly. I say it in a way that Im genuinely suprised that they dislike this person and not in a defensive way as if Im trying to have a go for them bitching.

    If this fails just say please, Id prefer it if you didnt talk that way infront of me about people it upsets me. I had to say this to someone myself very recently. I asked them to please stop talking about people in that way as it upset me and when they protested I had to say If you havent got anything nice to say about people then dont say anything at all. Needless to say this ended in us not talking for a couple of months...not my choice but the other person just didnt seem to have anything nice to say! Eventually I think they realised what they were doing was wrong.

    I understand saying something in these situations is easier said than done :hug: :hug: Goodluck


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