I don't know how much more I can take!

[Daddy_2-B]

Sorry this is so long, please read though, I need advice from women who may have acted like this, or guys who have been through this...

Me and my girlfriend are young, I'm 20 and she's 19. She's 13 weeks pregnant, unexpected of course, but I'm so happy that I'm going to be a dad. Yet my relationship with her is falling to peices.

We've just got our own place and we move in at the end of the month. I work long hours while she is at uni. She's always far too tired to see me before or after work at the moment and she sleeps most of the day, so I am always texting and phoning her to make a bit extra effort, however, she's getting annoyed with this. I have a day off tomorrow and I really wanted to see her, but she doesn't want to see me, she never does, and I admit I do moan alot about it. It just seems like she's always too tired to see me, yet when I do have time to see her, she's busy.

We had a big arguement tonight, I wanted to see her tomorrow and was moaning that she never wants to see me and doesn't appreciate the effort I try and put in. She said that she now wants a break from me because she's getting annoyed with me texting and phoning everyday (wanting to chat because we don't see eachother). I tell her how it's making me feel emotionally, she just thinks I'm emotionally blackmailing her. I'm now just going to back off and give her what she wants.

I feel like she's pushing me away, like she doesn't want me around. Ever since she got pregnant things have gone bad. I thought she might just be keeping distance because she's scared of me leaving her, but I've told her over and over that that isn't going to happen, but she's not doing herself any favors by treating me this way. I don't know what to do? I really am on the verge of giving up, but I really do love her and I want us to be a family. Part of me thinks she doesn't love me anymore.

What do I do?

 

[Tillytots]

whoa! dont panic!

Firstly welcome to the forum

Il get straight to the point....

No-one and I mean no-one knows what tired is until you get pregnant. Its nothing like the normal tired, its completely debilitating at times. Imagine if you were so so tired and felt like you hadnt slept in 2 weeks and just when you went to have a nap someone was constantly poking you in the head and your phone was ringing non stop....you'd be a little ratty and this is how your gf will be feeling She will also be feeling extremely emotional and hormonal. Patience probably isnt one of her stong points at the moment and its something you'll have to bear with and not take personally. She proably loves you with all her heart and right now she'd benefit more from you doing whatever it is that makes her feel comftable. Maybe apologise to her and let her know that you understand how tired she is and that she knows you're there whenever she needs you. If you stop texting her all the time she will come to you when shes finished It would irritate me if my OH or anyone did it for that matter. When I was first pregnant I went for days ignorning the phone and it would literally make me so scream and so annoyed if it rang when I was trying to sleep

You wont feel so paranoid when you live together as you'll see her more. Listening to what you've written I dont believe for one minute that there are any real probs in your relationship and doubt very much that she's stopped loving you! Its just pregnancy makes us ladies a little cranky. Id react the same if I was her to be honest.

hope you work it out soon

 

[mamichuli]

Awww, that is so sweet...don't worry, she doesnt hate u, she's just in the first trimester of pregnancy, things will get better, just be patient with her and let her know that you are always there when she needs you.



Lisa

 

[Craig]

Wish i could help and offer some good advice - but dont think im in much of a position to

All i can say is chin-up and hope for the best, and listen to ^^^ them, as they understand the crazy female mind better than i ever could

Though admittedly i was given that advice and things went downhill since! Hope you dont end up in the same scenario fella

 

[ella]

I dont know, I think you need to talk to her - I think it does sound like she is pushing you away, you sound like you are really making and effort and she isnt - I know how tired she is feeling - but if she wanted to, she would still find time to see you and spend time with you. I hope you can work it out and that it is just her tiredness - good luck

 

[keli]

Hello there

Id say she sounds like she needs some time maybe shes having a hard time dealing with the fact she's pregnant? Give her some space... if she loves you she'll soon be on the phone. hope everything works out for you xx

 

[Bee]

I am going to say the same thing as Keli - you may be happy that u are going to be a dad but she might be struggling to come to terms with it esp if it wasn't planned.

This is how I feel half the time, along with a new job after being at uni for 5 years and recently splitting up with someone.

As long as u are there for her and she knows that