Men say the funniest things

[PyscoFalcon]

ROFL

How on earth is a BABY going to bang it's head on a light switch :s

 

[Laura1391]

Haha love this thread what are they like so far ive had

My OH: When youve had the baby we can get your hair done and make you excersise again then you can look pretty again ( this wasnt even meant to be an insult), cos milk is so expensive shall we just give it cows milk?,dont worry about the birth im sure it will just fall out, make sure you have it on a saturday cos ill be working the rest of the week.............

These are the comments ive had so far oh hes got so much to learn! xx

 

[Asd1]

So far iv had "woah you won't get that big (looking at a maternity manaquin) " and soon as uv had this one il knock u up again as your boobs are huge!

 

[Lolly85x]

Haha love this thread what are they like so far ive had

My OH: When youve had the baby we can get your hair done and make you excersise again then you can look pretty again ( this wasnt even meant to be an insult), cos milk is so expensive shall we just give it cows milk?,dont worry about the birth im sure it will just fall out, make sure you have it on a saturday cos ill be working the rest of the week.............

These are the comments ive had so far oh hes got so much to learn! xx

I got asked to try have the baby on a Friday... Yeah cause I can control when I go into labour!!!!
And off the subject of OH's... My MIL has took the week I'm due off... My own mother isnt even taking the week in due off... I looked at her, and she said I'll have to make sure I'm on time! I really have no idea why she's taking a week off work, she's as much use as a chocolate tea pot, doesn't drive, and better not expect my bf to pick her up to bring her round!!! Haha!!!xxx

 

[masonowen]

Well I had him telling me different things ...
While I was too tired (happens very often...): I told you we should have got a ready made one (meaning to adopt one)
When i get up like 3 times per night too pee: you should really limit the amount of water you are drinking ( yes he actually is a doctor even ....)
In a discussion about newborn colics and inconsolable crying: well that's easy sweetie if we can't comfort her we just let her in the nursery while we go downstairs watching tv until she is over crying
About diaper provisions: we don't need to buy any before, just get a pack with you in the hospital and in our way back home we will stop at the supermarket to buy some more ( he does actually believe that I will be fit for supermarket sprints the day after I give birth)
About labour: so can't I just work until the pushing time is on and pop up just then???
About putting the puppy in a puppy hotel when the labour starts or around that time anyway: we don't need that I will just come home to let her in the garden to potty and put her back in its cage ( he actually thinks the labour will be done in sth like 3 h??? And yes he is a doctor.... )
Sterilizer: seriously are we going to grow a low immunity bean??? We dot need sterilizing we need good washing ( did I mention he is a doctor???)
I should probably go on and on for 1 more h....

Hahaha, oh dear!!

 

[Gayle30]

My normally very bright, switched on bf asked me what contraception we'd be using whilst I'm pregnant.....

Was all I could do not to punch his lights out.

Is it possible for them to be that bloody thick?! What did he think was gonna happen? I'd get pg again at the same time as this one and it would wait its turn and pop out at 9 months.

Honestly, words fail me! xx

Sent from my BlackBerry 9800 using Tapatalk

 

[tweetyfoo]

Omg Gayle tht reminds me ... First time we had sex after falling pregnant ...

He got the condoms out



Poor wee soul had no idea why I was falling about laughing!


Please excuse any typos from my fat fingers!
Tapatalk madness!

 

[Hope81]

We still use condoms for hygienic purposes lol. Much easier to clean the mess I was sick of changing blessings every night while TTC
Also I don't really want any sperm near my cervix. Nor until I am 37 weeks at least lol. (there is a theory that says that if cervix is favorable then sperm can induce labour)
Ofc it's only a silly precaution so snot be alarmed but after last years mc I am not willing to take any chances. But actually he mentioned it and took out the condoms and I was more than happy with them no more messy sex yeeeey!!!!

 

[russellmuscle]

awwwww he must have thought you didnt want it messy, I say to david to cum else were as I really dont like it being in me unless need be and obviously there is no need now but i never have used condoms i had the implant before but at least he thought lol! xxxx

 

[H16]

My OH has spent the weekend decorating the nursery. As hes an electrician I asked him to make one of the sockets into a double. So he comes in from his van with tools etc and says 'look at these new sockets and light switch', they look like and sockets and switches to me. He says 'but they're special ones with rounded corners like the baby needs' so i asked the apparently stupid question, 'why does the baby need special rounded corners?'. The answer 'incase it bangs its head on them'!!! Oh dear lord theres a baby proof house and then there's ridiculous!

Hahahahaha! That made me laugh so much I started crying.

 

[Gayle30]

Not that it matters now, I can't be arsed DTD!!! Ha, he remains ever hopeful and I continue to get into bed, fall fast asleep for 2 hours then start my day all over again. 2 Hours sleep is not enough - never mind actually having to be physical too!!! one day it will return wont it......

Glad we can laugh at them. xx

 

[Gayle30]

oh and Russllemuscle....he actually thought I may get pg twice. Theres no excuses for how thick he was that night when he asked the question!!! xx

 

[russellmuscle]

LMFAO awwww! i thought he was just like well you want want to be all messy inside now, thats what OH said to me.. "im guessing your not needing it in you" lolol nice..

 

[Gayle30]

I wish... I may not have laughed had he been that thoughtful. No, more likely he was worrying about his bank balance and having 2 kids! ha! Wally xxx

 

[tweetyfoo]

oh and Russllemuscle....he actually thought I may get pg twice. Theres no excuses for how thick he was that night when he asked the question!!! xx

When I questioned my DH about the condoms he said

"we don't want two babies in there"



I swear he's not thick most of the time!


Please excuse any typos from my fat fingers!
Tapatalk madness!

 

[Gayle30]

Haha, we have a wally each then!! xx

 

[russellmuscle]

David said to me the other week, awww its been so great youve not had your period for ages!

in other words so I cant use that as an excuse anymore lol xxx

 

[janey78]

Haha... These are funny! Mine hasn't been too bad... Although we did have a conversation the other night...

My sister is giving us a steam cleaner for the floors, an I said that would be good for when the baby is crawling about to keep the floors clean, blah blah blah... I then said something about crawling. And he said when will it start crawling, I said I wasn't too sure, maybe like 8-10months... And he looked shocked!! He then asked when it would start walking around the house. I said maybe a year, 15 months... And his face was a picture 'what we have to carry it about for a YEAR' !!!! He's actually been brilliant in daddy mode... I think he's just expecting me to give birth to a toddler! Haha!!xxx

This made me smile.

 

[janey78]

My OH has spent the weekend decorating the nursery. As hes an electrician I asked him to make one of the sockets into a double. So he comes in from his van with tools etc and says 'look at these new sockets and light switch', they look like and sockets and switches to me. He says 'but they're special ones with rounded corners like the baby needs' so i asked the apparently stupid question, 'why does the baby need special rounded corners?'. The answer 'incase it bangs its head on them'!!! Oh dear lord theres a baby proof house and then there's ridiculous!

This made me cry, so funny.

 

[sophs85]

this thread is sooo funny!! so happy I'm not alone!! whenever I say anything to do with feeling tired, hungry, headache, joint pain all I get is 'yea so do I' or'' maybe we're coming down with something??' MAYBE I'M PREGNANT!!!!!!! I can't even have that on my own ! xx