How do men feel?

[PinkPunch]

I decided to start this thread after a conversation I had my hubby last night.

He said hes looking forward to having a family and teaching the kids things and taking them places etc but he doesn't really feel anything for "babies" as such. I realise its more a female thing to want to look after a tiny winging baby (lol) but don't men feel slightly like this too deep down?

Is it wrong to assume that once he sees the baby he'll fall in love instantly? Or even when I get pregnant and he watches it grow?

Is this normal??

 

[Loola]

I dont think its wrong to assume that he will fall in love instantly!! I have seen it happen many times. Fathers who havent really planned to be fathers, seeing their babies for the first time and falling completely in love with them, changing their lives entirely for their sake and willing to do absolutely anything for their child. Im not sure what men think of pregnant belly's though. It must be mad thinking their child is in there and soon it is going to turn their lives completely upside down.

My OH is the opposite to your hubby Pink Punch, he is really excited about the 'baby' bit not so sure about when they start talking (talking back more than likely). He's even started worrying about what he'd be like if we have a daughter and she brings her first boyfriend home! I guess its nice that he's thought about it at all.

 

[PinkPunch]

See thats what im worryed about.. I mean a few weeks ago he said something like "I can't wait to have a baby" but he can't remember saying that.

Hes was asking me if its ok for him to be like that.. if most men feel like that about "babies" and the truth is I dont think so.. I think most would be excited about it. He can't wait to try etc but I think the fact that hes not really excited about a "baby" is worrying him a bit.

Maybe he cant see beyond all the nappy changing / upset sleep etc.. I hope.

 

[CB23]

I have to say my OH is like Loola's very excited about having a baby, excited about pregnancy. The one we lost wasn't planned and I think he was more overjoyed than I was, I think it took me longer to get my head around it. And his face when they told us we had lost it said it all.

All men are different, but regardless of their feelings before or during the pregnancy I think most will bond very quickly and be into the whole nappy & crying thing just as much as a mum. Well I hope so anyway!

 

[Loola]

I really wouldnt worry. I dont think men could be as excited as the woman about being pregnant or having a baby as we carry the child and go through every moment of being pregnant, feel every pain, kick etc and our bodies change completely too. I feel sorry for the men a bit actually, that they dont get to go through any of that.

I sometimes think that my OH is only excited about it because he knows I want it so much and he says the 'right things' just to please me. I dont think he would be that bothered if I decided I didnt want to keep TTC.

 

[babydust]

my dh wasnt excited when i was pregnant with my little girl, he didnt seem that interested, and when she started kicking i was soo excited and he was like oh yeh i can feel it then went back to watching tv, but it all changed when i gave birth, he couldnt stop looking at her and was always talking about her, my dh isnt emotional at all but he kept crying, the birth in its self is something i didnt really want to remember but my dh was blown away by it all which really surprised me, he also said that from the day i gave birth he felt much stronger and deeper feelings for me that he didnt think was possible. even after weeks he kept going on about how fantastic i was but this was always after a few pints

I think women feel love and start bonding right from their bfp as its soo real, but i dont think men see it as real until they can actually see the baby then all their emotions start

 

[Loola]

Awww thats really lovely!!

 

[jemz24]

tbh my OH didnt get all excited thru the pregnancy or when she was just a baby. He did find the giving birth overwelming tho.
I was quite worried, but he sed that he couldnt wait till she started walking and talking and he could play. She is now 2 and a half and he loves her bits.
Its depending on the man, wether hes the type to show his feeling or not. Especially if the father is young himself (my OH was 19/20 still a kid at heart lol)
I wouldnt worry while the baby is young, as long as they pitch in with the baby chores. They will bond eventually and when they do its priceless.

 

[Bagpuss17]

I have read that many men aren't interested in the baby stage. They get more interested when babies start developing their personalites and do more.

I wouldn't worry too much about it, it's not unusual.

You won't know how he'll react until the baby is born. He won't know for certain either until that point.

 

[PinkPunch]

Aww thanks ladies, that has reassured me

xx

 

[Redshoes]

My OH was and is very 'factual' about pregnancy and babies and takes them all in his stride. When pregnant with Isaac he found it interesting and liked to talk about what stage I was at etc etc and was 100% there for the labour and birth, where I found him quite amazing, he was my rock. However, when Isaac arrived he was more hands off than on, but that could be more to do with Isaac and me being stuck in hospital for a week, who knows, but it took him longer to feel 'relaxed' with Isaac, ie holding him correctly, dressing him, I think men are actually moredelicate with LO's than us, they are kind of scared of babies, babies can control us, they can't This time round I'm putting LO on him as much as possible and he ain't getting out of nothing BUT, all men are different, as are women.

 

[Rosebay]

My OH says that he really couldn't imagine us having a baby until Elliott was in his arms- even when I was massive and the bump was kicking him in bed! Lots of people went on about the fact that he'd probably fall in love at first sight, so much so that he got a bit of a complex about it- "what if I don't" etc etc. He is very very squeamish (can't watch Casualty squeamish) and so I had my mum in with me during labour and he came in afterwards when it was all serene and it was one of the most perfect moments of my life seeing the two of them look at each other for the first time. I was far too knackered to be that emotional myself, I couldn't get past how big Elliott seemed and how tired I was but I could see that beautiful "first moment" happening between them and it was incredible.

To be honest, he likes babies more than I do now! Whenever there's one around he asks for a hold whereas I'm still a bit freaked out by them! When I texted him with the digi result this morning he replied "Cute little baby ahoy"! This from a man who 3 years ago "didn't like babies or kids".

+++

 

[Melly+2]

Gal wasnt excided when we found out i was pg at all, he wanted me to have an abortion, he was aweful about it until i was about 7 months and we were goming back from a night out, id not had a drink though im a good girl, although he had, in the taxi on the way back home i was upset as hed not even talked about it at all to his mates and was upset coz i really thought he couldnt give a toss at that ploint, but in the taxi back home he said 'i do love baby you know' and he rubbed my bump for the first time, after that it was wonderful, and his face when she came out, he was the proudest man ever and still is he loves hope to bits and would do owt for her, shes his princess