Men say the funniest things

[tweetyfoo]

My hubby really is clueless ... I know I still have things to learn ... but common sense prevails on most occassions ... last night we went for a walk and the conversation went like this

Hubby: What happens after you pop the wean out (like its just going to come out of its own accord)

Me: What ya mean?

Hubby: How long does it take for your body to recover?

Me: Not sure, think its different for everyone

Hubby: Well its just the same as doing a big shit ...

Me:

Hubby: Lets say its a day ... do you just go back to normal and start going back to the gym and going for runs again

Me:

Share your "men say the stupidest things" stories here!

 

[SunnySue]

I dont have a story to tell but just wanted to ask - how did you manage not to punch him??

 

[tweetyfoo]

I think my body went numb .. there was no sarcasm in his tone ... he was being deadly serious! I think hes worried that I'll be a big flabby mess after the baby ... but unless he's going to breastfeed for me then he'll have to be patient and wait!

 

[PyscoFalcon]

oh my hehe.

My hubby just thinks it's too early for me to be tried all time, need bigger tops etc - errm you try and grow a baby and see how you feel this early *sigh*

 

[russellmuscle]

Hubby: Well its just the same as doing a big shit ...

this nearly made me wet myself!

my OH says stupid stuff alll the time I must make note and share one day!

and atleast hes keen tweety, asking when you can get back on it

 

[masonowen]

Lol that made me giggle.

 

[tweetyfoo]

oh my hehe.

My hubby just thinks it's too early for me to be tried all time, need bigger tops etc - errm you try and grow a baby and see how you feel this early *sigh*

Mine was like this too

I really struggled for the first 10 weeks, eating every two hours and sleeping 18hrs a day! In maternity clothes from 6 weeks ... apparently it was all in my head

We also had this conversation a few months ago

Hubby: See when you are at home with the wean?

Me: Uh-huh (where is this going)

Hubby: Are you still going to keep the house clean and cook dinner and stuff

Me: I'll do my best

Hubby: Its just P in work was saying his missus does f all and he goes home to a shit hole every day

Me: Well I'll go back to work and you can look after a newborn and keep the house clean if its that easy

Hubby: Umm ... I'm just saying ..

 

[PyscoFalcon]

Men think it's all easy - we should force them to watch that Daddy Daycare documetairy - they'll soon be bowing ot us saying there not worthy lol.

 

[masonowen]

Oh my!! Sounds like your oh is gonna have a shock when lo arrives lol

 

[Lolly85x]

Haha... These are funny! Mine hasn't been too bad... Although we did have a conversation the other night...

My sister is giving us a steam cleaner for the floors, an I said that would be good for when the baby is crawling about to keep the floors clean, blah blah blah... I then said something about crawling. And he said when will it start crawling, I said I wasn't too sure, maybe like 8-10months... And he looked shocked!! He then asked when it would start walking around the house. I said maybe a year, 15 months... And his face was a picture 'what we have to carry it about for a YEAR' !!!! He's actually been brilliant in daddy mode... I think he's just expecting me to give birth to a toddler! Haha!!xxx

 

[Simoneh00]

Would you believe a few months ago (yes we have 2 children already!!!) I had to explain the whole conception thing and what periods are? I mean really

tapatalking!!!

 

[tweetyfoo]

Would you believe a few months ago (yes we have 2 children already!!!) I had to explain the whole conception thing and what periods are? I mean really

tapatalking!!!

I'm pretty sure they think the stork brings them along!

 

[janinesboutiqu]

hehehe... I have no stories to tell (yet!) but loved having a little giggle reading yours, made me smile we are still in the TTC stage but when we do (hopefully) fall pregnant I am now very much looking forward to the random questions and statements I am expecting my OH to make lol.. xx

 

[babyem]

Hahaha! Love this thread!

My OH is convinced that it won't be that bad, as women often have more than one child whereas a man gets a kick to the balls and doesn't ask for another!

MEN!!

 

[Simoneh00]

Hahaha! Love this thread!

My OH is convinced that it won't be that bad, as women often have more than one child whereas a man gets a kick to the balls and doesn't ask for another!

MEN!!

I got this too. My counter attack was that we get something lovely at the end of it they don't. If they got a blow job every time they got kicked in the balls they'd definitely ask for it!

tapatalking!!!

 

[babyem]

Hahaha! Love this thread!

My OH is convinced that it won't be that bad, as women often have more than one child whereas a man gets a kick to the balls and doesn't ask for another!

MEN!!

I got this too. My counter attack was that we get something lovely at the end of it they don't. If they got a blow job every time they got kicked in the balls they'd definitely ask for it!

tapatalking!!!

Hahaha! I keep telling him that we'll do a comparison test if he likes when it comes to it! I am going to use your comeback!! x

 

[Hope81]

Well I had him telling me different things ...
While I was too tired (happens very often...): I told you we should have got a ready made one (meaning to adopt one)
When i get up like 3 times per night too pee: you should really limit the amount of water you are drinking ( yes he actually is a doctor even ....)
In a discussion about newborn colics and inconsolable crying: well that's easy sweetie if we can't comfort her we just let her in the nursery while we go downstairs watching tv until she is over crying
About diaper provisions: we don't need to buy any before, just get a pack with you in the hospital and in our way back home we will stop at the supermarket to buy some more ( he does actually believe that I will be fit for supermarket sprints the day after I give birth)
About labour: so can't I just work until the pushing time is on and pop up just then???
About putting the puppy in a puppy hotel when the labour starts or around that time anyway: we don't need that I will just come home to let her in the garden to potty and put her back in its cage ( he actually thinks the labour will be done in sth like 3 h??? And yes he is a doctor.... )
Sterilizer: seriously are we going to grow a low immunity bean??? We dot need sterilizing we need good washing ( did I mention he is a doctor???)
I should probably go on and on for 1 more h....

 

[babyem]

 

[SunnySue]

LOL Tweetyfoo, I really dont know how you haven't done this man mortal damage lol! Very funny though
Please keep these coming they are really cheering me up!

 

[Frankie_Lou]

My OH has spent the weekend decorating the nursery. As hes an electrician I asked him to make one of the sockets into a double. So he comes in from his van with tools etc and says 'look at these new sockets and light switch', they look like and sockets and switches to me. He says 'but they're special ones with rounded corners like the baby needs' so i asked the apparently stupid question, 'why does the baby need special rounded corners?'. The answer 'incase it bangs its head on them'!!! Oh dear lord theres a baby proof house and then there's ridiculous!