Looking for reassurance

Discussion in 'First Trimester' started by aussiemum, Jun 7, 2005.

  1. aussiemum

    aussiemum New Member

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    Hi,

    This is my first pregnancy and I am on the other side of the world from my family so I am hoping someone out there can help!

    I had the positive test at 5 weeks and my husband and I told people straight away cos we were so excited. But, some people said things like 'oh, I wouldn't have told anyone for another couple of weeks' so I guess that has helped to make me nervous.

    The thing is - sometimes/mostly I don't 'feel' pregnant.

    I have had a positive test at the clinic, I feel a bit off colour most of the time (especially if I get hungry), I often feel an urgent need to sleep, I know I am not supposed to be showing or anything and, sure, what do I know about 'feeling pregnant' anyway ...

    Last week I was quite bloated (drinking sooo much water) that I didn't fit my clothes properly - strangely that felt better than now when everything seems too normal.

    Even though I kinda know I am being silly, I would really appreciate it if someone could tell me that this is normal.

    Thanks
     
  2. Kerry

    Kerry Well-Known Member

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    Hi Honey!!

    What you are saying sounds wonderfully normal.

    Telling people straight away is fine if thats what you want - don't listen to what others say. At least then you have the support of everyone and if you are poorly or if (god forbid) you had any problems then people around you already know.

    Being pregnant and having a new baby is hard when everyone else has an opinion. The advice always give my ladies is to look at it as making a big cooking pot full of stew...........take all the recipes people give you but only put in the bits YOU like!!!

    Good luck for your prgnancy, you sound like you are doing well already.

    Chin up, lots of love
     
  3. Nikki2003

    Nikki2003 Well-Known Member

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    Yeah aussiemum listen to kerry......(kerry liked your advice on the stew and the thing about people and their ingredients).....because that is how it is sometimes; people always have to put their two cents into everyone elses business....they don't need to be telling you what to do especially if it's going to be nothing but negativity....they should be happy for you because there are a lot of people out there who can't have babies of their own...nobody needs to be put down and told what to do....especially when we're pregnant we already have soo much on our minds between making sure we're eating right (or at least trying to)...and all these doctor appointments and this and that so. But just don't listen to anyones negativity just worry about what you like and what pleases you and what makes you happy.....and I'm sure you will be fine and continue to enjoy your pregnancy.

    Good luck and don't take anybody's crap....if you have to just let whatever they say go in one ear and out the other!
     
  4. petchy

    petchy Well-Known Member

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    hi, i just wanted to let you know that i'm also far away from my family (they're in Norway, im in the UK) so i know how it feels. most of all i really would have liked my mum to be close by for support, especially as my bf's parents both passed away years ago.

    so my friends are my only local support network really, and that's why i told them straight away. if something happens then i'd rather they know so they can give me support. i also told my family straight away for the same reason, and because i was just too excited to keep it to myself!

    i have made up my mind to listen to my own body and common sense, what everybody else thinks is irrelevant as long as i am happy, bf is happy and baby is doing well! my only symptons so far are tender breasts, feeling bloated and i did have some cramps throughout last week (which is how i suspected i was pregnant)

    good luck with it all - hope you get the chance to visit your family, and that they can come over around the time of the birth to offer support and meet the new family member!

    PS: if you want to keep in touch when you're missing the family, PM me and i'll give you my e-mail address.
     
  5. Lisa J

    Lisa J Well-Known Member

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    hi aussie mum
    where abouts in surrey are you? how old are you? are you thinking of going back over there?
    xxxxx
     
  6. Lucy

    Lucy Well-Known Member

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    Hi aussiemum

    Congratulations on your pregnancy!

    Like the others have said above, everyone is always forthcoming with their own views and opinions - however it's important you and your husband do what you are both happy with and don't worry about what other people say (I know it's easier said than done though!).

    Where abouts in Surrey are you? We moved from the Guildford area last year.

    I'm also not having many symptoms at the moment (7wks) which is kind of worrying me but also I realise that everyone is different and I might get terrible morning sickness tomorrow! I do feel more tired, my breasts are more sensitive and I have some cramping on and off.

    Take care

    Lucy
     
  7. mdsremos

    mdsremos Well-Known Member

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    I am so glad I have found this thread. I found out on Sunday (after 2 pale tests...couldnt believe it, still dont really, and another more positive test on Monday) that I am pregnant after trying for only 1 month!! Really scared although everyones congratulatin us but feel really normal and keep looking at the test in the bin to see if it was actually was 2 big pink lines and that I'm not dreaming!!!

    Told close family and friends at work cos I could'nt help it really but apart from feeling bloated and a couple of light cramps/twinges everything seems the same. Still keep checking I've not had my period whenever I go to the loo or worry I might lose it....cant get brain in gear but your post and replies has helped a little!! Thanks
     
  8. sasswa

    sasswa Well-Known Member

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    AussieMum,

    Like you, I'm Aussie and I know EXACTLY how you feel. My husband and I were out in Oz seeing the family in April (we got married back home) - I hadn't seen everyone for nearly 2 years so you can imagine, it was soooo hard coming back. Also, I had 3 close friends that were pregnant.

    We conceived on honeymoon, we were trying but what a shock to happen sooo fast, and so whilst we're still talking to people about the wedding etc, my mind has completely forgotten the damn wedding and thinking of Number One inside.

    Like you, I had to tell my family and close friends in Oz immediately. Some days, I so wish they were with me. I'm expecting the first grandchild too so I imagine my mum is desperate to be out here.

    Anytime you want to talk, please don't hesitate (I may need you too!) - PM me and I'll give you my email address.

    Chin up honey,

    Sass
    x
     
  9. Urchin

    Urchin Well-Known Member

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    With my first pregnancy I had no idea I was pregnant until I was 17 weeks!
    I was a scuba instructor in Thailand at the time, with all my family back in the UK so I can totally uunderstamd the not feeling pregnant bit. I'm 15 weeks now and hardley feel pregnant this time too.

    Don't worry the feelings will come!
     
  10. emilia

    emilia Well-Known Member

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    Hi Aussiemum

    Congratulations on your pregnancy!
    What you're going through is so normal - enjoy it!!!! I'm pregnant for the 3rd time and this time I told everyone from the day I found out! It's such an exciting time - why spoil it by keeping it a secret until week 12? I still want to shout it out and you know what - even though everyone doesn't agree with me - I have had far more support than before. Most folk are fussing over me - I'm more relaxed & happy too!!!
    Good luck with this wonderful experience!!!!!!!!!
    Kind Regards
    Emilia
    ps - live in SA now after living in Edinburgh for 16 years. Struggling some days when I miss my old buddies - the sunshine makes up for it now! :lol:
     
  11. aussiemum

    aussiemum New Member

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    Hi there,
    I just want to say thanks so much to everyone for being so lovely and helpful. I guess I am feeling pretty much what most first timers must feel - is this real? did I dream it? is something wrong?

    Although I felt really blah today (a bit sick, a bit tired, just generally icky) I am a bit more confident now about things being okay. I was a bit wobbly this afternoon because I had a bit of spotting for the first time. My husband prayed that I would have peace and thankfully I do now (mostly).

    For those who asked, I am 28 and I live near Farnham in Surrey. My husband and I live and work with a Christian Mission organisation here, which is really great...but I still think I would like to be near my family :s

    In the mean time, it is nice to have a place like this to take my questions (and frazzled emotions) to.
     

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