lining myself up to be let down again!

[natashateale]

Hi
I'll start at the begining
My dad left my mum when i was 1 and he carried on seeing me till i was 4and then just stopped. I never heard any thing till i was 11 when i saw him a few times after writting to each other for a month or so. Then me and mum my my step dad moved but i left him a number and an address but didnt here any thing. When i had my daughter i let him know but i got a couple of txts then nothing. That was at 17. I am now 20 and recently we saw each other at a funeral and at the wake he came and spoke to me. (After everything i was convinced i wanted nothing to do with him) he gave me a speach about hes sorry and it was all him and doesnt expect me to want to keep in touch but he wants to. Anyway he gave me his address so if i wanted to write to him i could. But i dont know if i want to. Does he deserve it? Why after 16 what makes now any diff to when i was 11 or 17.
I was wondering if any of you have any advice please. Xx

 

[BabysMomma]

That's gona be a hard decision hun that only you can answer

There may have been things going on in his life that got in the way of keeping in touch, I dunno. What I would do is write down all of the things going around in my head that I want answers to and ask them in a letter to him.

I would also explain how his lack of contact made you feel and how much he has missed out on in you and your daughter's lives and let him know that this is his final chance. That if he doesn't make the effort to remain a part of your lives, then you'll have to let him go from your lives as he's hurting you each time he walks in and out of your life.

Obviously its up to you what you want to write or if you have any contact at all with him, the above is just what I'd do if in the same circumstances. I hope you're able to get it sorted with him. x

 

[Maria1977]

My situation with my own dad is similar. Really you have to do what your heart tells you. My dad appeared on my doorstep when my son was 2 months old and promised things for my son that haven't materialised. I said to my OH I don't care and that I don't want or need anything from him but I will not let him come and go from my son's life like he did mine.

I would love my dad to be a part of mine and my sons life, but for me there's too many issues there and I really want to only surround my son with positive ppl who won't let him down. Well as much as I can anyways.

xxxxx

 

[natashateale]

I am the same with my daughter. I said to my OH if i do get in touch with my dad hes not having anything to do with my daughter so that if he does let me down again its only me getting hurt and not my little girl.
There issues with my dad i dont think i could ever forgive him for but at the same time there is something inside that wants to know my dad but i dont think i can trust.

I think i will write things down just to clear my head, then mayb, i might send it to him. I dont know though.

Thank you ladies! Xx

 

[BabysMomma]

I think i will write things down just to clear my head, then mayb, i might send it to him. I dont know though.

Sometimes that can even be enough, as in just writing it down and not sending it. It can help clear things up in your mind and maybe give you answers to those questions you have.

Sending and hope you're not let down again if you decide to write to him. Bestest of luck hun. x