leaving work regrets

Discussion in 'Third Trimester' started by GBLiz, Jan 17, 2008.

  1. GBLiz

    GBLiz Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 14, 2007
    Messages:
    2,622
    Likes Received:
    0
    those of you that have read my posts over the last few months will know i was working stupidly long hours and having a lot of trouble getting antenatal care and stuff..

    the choice for me was to stop work now at 28 weeks, or at 34 weeks (due to the nature of the job theres no inbetween)

    well when we had our post-baby work plans in place, me and OH made the decision i would stop work now, and have a stress free couple of months before the baby's born and before we started our new business

    now the business plans have collapsed, im feeling really down and im regretting leaving now. I feel i should have stayed the next 6 weeks to get more money together for our now-uncertain future.

    im doing a few hours doing general dogsbody stuff but earning less than a third of my previous income...and with the extra time on my hands i'm feeling pretty miserable about everything.

    i guess if we'd known this was going to happen , we would have made a different decision..but we didnt know...so i shouldnt really be kicking myself about it....but I am. Before i was so happy and excited about everything . But now i feel so low i cant even give my OH a genuine smile, and im so anxious i cant even sit down and relax.

    on top of this ive been trying to do our tax returns today and i cant do it , its asking for stuff i cant provide and none of it makes sense.. so now im scared we're gonna go to prison on top of everything else...ok that bit's pregnancy hormones talking but everything has gone so pearshaped :cry:
     
  2. Blossom

    Blossom Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2005
    Messages:
    129
    Likes Received:
    0
    :hug: Tax returns are awful, I havent even started mine yet :shock:

    Last year I started it on 30th Jan :oops: I did it online and i calculates everything for you, so if you arent doing that, then give it a try. I felt much better filling in the online form than going through the paper one. Dont know why. Honestly, don't worry about your tax return, just give them a ring and they will talk you through every single step and explain every bit of it if you want them to.

    As for finishing work, I sort of understand where you are coming from. Im in the situtation where if i want i can work right up til 36 weeks, but i honestly want to give up today. I know i cant afford to, but I've been thinking that it's only a couple of months earniings....If need be i can go back to work a couple of months earlier ifkwim.

    At the end of the day you are going to be having x months off, whether you start your mat leave now or in two months (i know you dont have the choice). It's just a question of the money being earned later in the year, rather than now. Hard to explain, 9 months off is 9 months off. you either get the full 9 with baby, or get three months off pregnant and only 6 with the baby.

    If things are really tight, could you get a loan to tide you over the extra two months that you took?

    :hug: :hug: :hug:

    Good luck with the tax....
     
  3. GBLiz

    GBLiz Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 14, 2007
    Messages:
    2,622
    Likes Received:
    0
    im trying to do it online and i cant even get the logins to work :doh: even though ive got all the right passwords :? uffff still thats reassuring to hear its not so bad once you actually get online...

    in terms of the work sitatuon, its a bit different cos im not getting X months off ....ive left completely...cos we were due to be starting a new venture the month before the baby's due -i wasnt ever going to have any time off after the baby! its not money i will get now or later cos now that the venture has crashed and burned.

    BUT in reality it IS only money and my OH is earning enough that things shouldnt get too desparate.....so i should be just cutting my losses and not regretting ....but easier said than done i guess
     
  4. Blossom

    Blossom Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2005
    Messages:
    129
    Likes Received:
    0
    Are you getting the standard government £112 a week? If you've been working for 26 weeks (before you are 15 weeks off your due date) for your prev employer even as a temp or contractor, then you are at least entitled to 9 months at that rate...I know it's buggr all though.


    Keep trying with the online thing, and ring them if you cant get onto it. it really is easier.

    If you even slightly confused with any of it just ring them up. Last year was my first and i was a gibbering wreck and put it off til the very last minute. I rang them with any questions and they cant be helpful enough, really.

    Another thing, i had a problem actually submitting online. It wouldnt work for some reason, so i ended up having to physically print it off and rive down to our local tax office and post it.

    They had a special box for people dropping off their tax returns and I wasn't the only one
     
  5. Blossom

    Blossom Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2005
    Messages:
    129
    Likes Received:
    0
    Just read your previous post about what heppened :shock:

    How awful :hug: What a panic you must be in.

    What have you decided to do?

    I've been trying to imagine myself in your situation and it would scare the hell out of me. If it were me, I'd resign myself to where I was right now. Get settled in the home you are in and plan to stay there for the next year. Don't worry about chasing a new business venture or anything, just sit back and accept that you will have to put everything else on hold and just concentrate on the baby. Even though it's not ideal, or what you wnated or expected, at least if you knew in your mind what you were doing for the next year, you could sit back and relax a bit. I dont know anything about your situation, but i do know that you would really feel better if you cancelled any plans and made a pact with yourselves just to stay where you are for a year (unless where you are is truly horrid).

    Is there any chance of your husband asing if he can work closer to where you actually live, just until the baby is born and he has finished his paternity leave? What does he do?

    Aww hun
    :hug: When the baby is born everything else will just go away. It's amazing how nothing else matters when you look in their little eyes for the first time. after i gave birth I honestly felt Id be happy living in a barn as long as i had my little one and husband with me. (feeling didnt last forever lol! :lol: )
     
  6. Sherlock

    Sherlock Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2007
    Messages:
    5,887
    Likes Received:
    0
    Sorry to hear things are up in the air atm

    Re your claiming SMA, if you've been employed then you should be able to claim for your maternity leave as Blossom said. Its only £112 a week but its still something and you should be entitled to it so long as you've paid tax and NI over here during the 'test' period (what they consider the window of time you need to have worked to be able to claim).

    Phone your local Jobcentre and they should be able to help or put you in touch with a helpline who'll post you the forms to fill in.

    I'm in the process of filling mine out atm as I quit my job totally just after Christmas. I'd been there 4 years. I plan to claim from the earliest available time I can until it runs out.
     
  7. GBLiz

    GBLiz Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 14, 2007
    Messages:
    2,622
    Likes Received:
    0
    thanks for the virtual hugs bloom :hug:

    its a bit more complicated than a normal work situation- we promote gyms with a heavy (high stress!) marketing campaign, and stay in one town for the duration of the 6 week promotion, before moving on. theres no 'staying in one place option! and no guarantee of being close to home. We requested it for this round and ended up 3 hours from 'home' as there were simply no promotions available in the area.

    So for the time being we are resigned to him staying in the job and me travelling with him - theres no way im staying at 'home' and seeing him only one day a week, i'd rather travel with him, with the baby, and the cat (who currently travels with us!) Thats what we will do now, until at least june. im used to moving all the time anyway i guess. Im not overly stressed about that....the bigger downside is about his long hours and missing out on a lot in the first months..but that just cant be helped now.......i think we're doing the best we can given decisions that we cant take back .....even though im not earning now i can put my energy into looking for new business opportunities...but resign myself to them not happening until the summer at least

    thanks for taking the time to write a reply though ..it helps to have someone listen . :hug:
     
  8. libs

    libs Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 13, 2007
    Messages:
    4,502
    Likes Received:
    0
    I never do mine till the last min - I work best under pressure - so it'll be done the monday before and I'll no doubt join the big queue posting it in the big box on the very last day :wink:

    you won't go to prison - the very worst they'll do if you're late is fine you £100. And they're actually quite nice if you ask for help :D
     
  9. Candygirl

    Candygirl Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 19, 2007
    Messages:
    350
    Likes Received:
    0
    Reading ur post has just made me panic
    I dont even know if I need to fill in a tax return? Help!!

    Hun, try not to worry - its not good for you or the baby. I know hoe you feel cos I cant really afford to take a lot of time off when baby is born cos of our financial situation but I just keep telling myself not to worry and stress about it now. Everything will come together - it always does, one way or another and you make the best of the situations u get into.

    :hug: :hug: have some of these and dont stress - it will all sort itself out!!
     
  10. muppetmummy

    muppetmummy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 18, 2007
    Messages:
    8,996
    Likes Received:
    0
    :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: I hope it all works out for you
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice