Kicking out a 17yr old?

[MrsG81]

Hi,

I’d love some advise please if anyone can help? My husband has a 16 (17 this week) year old son from a previous marriage. He lives with his mum around 60 miles away from us.

Things were fine until around March this year when his mum split up with her partner. Although not married he had been in my step sons life for over 10 years so was very much a Step-dad figure to him. His mum had cheated on him and things started to get messy. My step son wanted to stay in touch with his step dad (I’ll say step dad for easiness) but his mum tried to stop him. His mum tried to push her new fella on my step-son who was not interested in meeting him and they had some massive rows. His mum called the police on him saying he was getting violent with her (he said he just pushed her and held her as she was trying to scratch him) and she would keep kicking him out of the house. She has turned her parents against him so they don’t see him anymore. I know my step son is no angel, we have had some massive rows with him in the past as he has an attitude that he can behave how he likes as in the past she never really disciplined him, preferring just to let him go on his computer for an easy life. I think they are both as bad as each other honestly as he calls her names and refuses to talk to her and she spends all her time with her new man and refuses to give him money for his train fare! (he has to be in some kind of education until he is 18 and he is doing a full time college course).

He was due to come to ours this past weekend but he phoned on Thursday saying he couldn’t come as it had all kicked off again. Apparently she had given him a letter saying that he needs to move out in four weeks and if he doesn’t she will just move out to live with her new boyfriend and leave him alone in the house and leave the bills for him to pay.

Now legally I really don’t know if she can do that. He can’t live with us as we have two younger children who already share a bedroom and he would have no chance of getting to college. He’s already told us that he wouldn’t want to anyway as our younger two stress him out when he is with them for long periods of time.

I’ve told him to get in touch with Shelter who have some information on their website about under 18’s who are potentially homeless and see what his options are. Does anyone know what else help he can get? My husband obviously pays maintenance to his ex wife for him, but if she kicks him out (or moves to be with her boyfriend and leaves him in the council house they currently live in) can he pay this directly to his son? It was an informal agreement not through CSA but it doesn’t make sense to pay it to her if she has absolutely no responsibility for him any more.

Also, she has told my step son that she doesn’t have any kind of responsibility for him as he is over 16 and would not need to pay him anything, but when I have looked online it states that parents have financial responsibility for their child up to 18 yrs old, especially if they are still in education. I know my husband would have been responsible for maintenance until he was 18 or even older depending on what college options he took.

Sorry for the massive post!! I’m trying to help my step son but have no idea where he stands legally and financially, if anyone has any information on this it would be much appreciated.

 

[redbear]

I think after his 18th birthday it would be up to your husband who he gives the money to, i mean most 18 year old would blow it on rubbish so mums have it to pay bills, buy food etc. But at 18 that all changes doesnt it. I would ask him to contact his local council for advice, he can take the letter with him, he will probably end up in shared accommodation though been single and young, but its better than been homeless! xx

 

[MrsG81]

Thanks hun. This is what I would be worried about if we gave him the money. But his mum has said she is not giving him a penny and is going to live with her boyfriend so he can pay all the house hold bills himself or find himself somewhere cheaper to live! He is still at college full time though so I don't know how she expects him to do this.

If she was financially responsible for him and had to pay him something then I am sure between what she would pay him and what my husband pays in maintenance that would cover rent and bills in shared accommodation but we can't afford to give him much more and he would need food, train fares to college etc.

It's such a mess and his mum just seems to want to move on with her boyfriend and wash her hands of him!

 

[redbear]

https://www.gov.uk/when-child-maintenance-payments-stop

Payments are until 18 if not in education or 20 if they are but there are excemptions and one of them is --

the parent receiving the payment stops being the main carer of the child.

Which she would if she moves out! So your oh can stop the payments all together and just set up a new payment to his son if he wants to.

 

[MrsG81]

Great, thanks for that!!

 

[redbear]

np, id call them and just check anyway but im sure it will be right, your OH should drop her a text letting her know lmao, her child benifit will stop too make sure he calls them and checks she has informed them in four weeks x

 

[MrsG81]

Haha, thank you I will make sure he does!

 

[BunnyN]

Maybe ask for a copy of the letter that says he has to move out? I would think that would be legal proof that she is no longer going to support him if you need it for stopping child support payments to her?

 

[MrsG81]

That's a good point thanks hun, I will make sure we get a copy.

They are having mediation at his college today so I am hoping it doesn't actually come to any of the above, fingers crossed!