Is motherhood an impossible dream for me?

[Elva]

First of all I just wish to say "hi" since I'm new here. Also, english is not my native language, so please bear with me. I've been reading through a lot of pregnancy forums lately, but this is the first time I've actually found a place where I fit in; as in waiting to try. As unfortunately, my boyfriend and I aren't even trying yet, despite me having had the baby-fever for a good year or two by now.

EDIT: Deleted the rest of my post, as it was being pointed out to me, that mentioning the "a-word" wasn't allowed in this section. My sincerest apologies; it was never my intent to hurt or offend anyone, and I wasn't aware.

To those of you who commented on my original post; thanks for your support.

 

[bookworm]

Wow what a story. I'm so sorry you've had such a hard time. I can't understand what an abortion must have been like for you but i know that it must have left scars and that must be difficult. I cant offer any advise either not knowing which country you're in or financially what might help, other than the fact that things can get better. Whether you have your babies in your arms or only in your heart, you're a mother and im sorry that you're finding it so hard. I wish you all the best and pray your situation eases and you find a way to make that family you long for x

 

[mistyblue]

Hi Elva - you sound like a sensible couple who want the best for your future family. I am not sure where you are, but in the UK there are lots of places you can seek financial support and advice. Perhaps somewhere local to you can ask for some advice?

This is a great forum for talking! It really helps to have people to talk to, but I wonder if you might find additional support from a close friend who you trust? I know what you mean when you say you feel like people have given up on you having children. I'm nearly 34 and my younger sisters have children. It's hard sometimes, but I have to believe my time will come eventually. So will yours x x

 

[CARNAT22]

Sorry to hear about your struggles.

We aren't meant to discuss the A word on here though.

There are lots of women who are struggling to conceive, or who have had losses, or who are in the early and precarious stages of pregnancy.

You may want to edit your post a little.

Sadly from what you say there seems to be a lot of barriers to you being able to properly TTC but I hope you get there in the end.

x

 

[cosmicgirl]

Was just about to write the same as carnat.
I agree that you should edit your post. I'm not ttc but I did find it upsetting to read about you deciding to abort your baby so I'm sure others will too.

 

[Elva]

Was just about to write the same as carnat.
I agree that you should edit your post. I'm not ttc but I did find it upsetting to read about you deciding to abort your baby so I'm sure others will too.

First of all, as mentioned in my edit in my original post, I never meant to hurt or upset anybody. I find it very upsetting as well. Probably more so than anyone else. And not being able to talk to anyone about it and always having to be judged for my descision makes it harder.

I guess I was wrong in thinking that I finally found a place/section of a forum where I fit in. I'm sure I could talk about it in a forum where the "a-word" is allowed, but to me it would seem equally inappropriate (if not more so) to go there and talk about how desperately Í long for a baby. And unfortunately it makes no sense for me to split my story into two, as the two are connected for me.

 

[TashaWink]

You are still only 30 I know plenty of people who have waited til they are 40 until they start their family. So try not to rule yourself out of a family. Even if you can't see the situation changing anytime soon.

You need to have a serious talk with your OH and really lay it all out. Explain your clocks ticking and that's why you've been asking about it and that's why you need to know. And would like to start making changes to accompany a family life.

 

[TashaWink]

Ps - welcome to the forum. I found it an excellent place to let everything go when I was boring everyone with baby talk.

 

[cosmicgirl]

Was just about to write the same as carnat.
I agree that you should edit your post. I'm not ttc but I did find it upsetting to read about you deciding to abort your baby so I'm sure others will too.

First of all, as mentioned in my edit in my original post, I never meant to hurt or upset anybody. I find it very upsetting as well. Probably more so than anyone else. And not being able to talk to anyone about it and always having to be judged for my descision makes it harder.

I guess I was wrong in thinking that I finally found a place/section of a forum where I fit in. I'm sure I could talk about it in a forum where the "a-word" is allowed, but to me it would seem equally inappropriate (if not more so) to go there and talk about how desperately Í long for a baby. And unfortunately it makes no sense for me to split my story into two, as the two are connected for me.

This is a very supportive place, we support ladies in all manner of problems - big and small.
Saying that, you have to realise that lots of us are ttc, have had losses and have babies. So when someone talks about abortion it is upsetting.
That's by the by, it is against forum rules anyway so that's why carnat and I suggested you edit you post also.

 

[bookworm]

whats with the shoes plug in the middle there!? lol!