Is it wrong of me to pull out of friends baby shower?

[Gizzy Kelly]

I have a friends baby shower coming up and I am really dreading it. Most of my friends have fallen pregnant really easily and are now on their 2/3 child. Also my brother also announced recently that he is expecting his first baby with his partner in March. Don't get me wrong I am really happy for everyone that gets pregnant it is not about be being not happy for them, and I will support my brother and his partner with the baby as their aunty and friend for ever. In fact it is very exciting to have a new addtion to our family but i just cannot face going to the baby shower this weekend?? We have been trying for over 2 years and it is looking more and more likely that we are going to need treatment. There will be loads of my friends with babies and children and baby stuff and baby talk everywhere. Am I being selfish if i don't go and tell them I am busy???? I just don't know what to do. I am sure most of them know we have been trying but they dont know the extent of it.

Gizzy xxx

 

[LouiseB]

If they know that you are having difficulties then it might seem like you are being resentful, but if they don't know and they would just assume that you was actually busy then i don't see any harm in ducking out

You can still get a them a card and a present and wish them your best without having to upset yourself anymore than necessary.

 

[MrsW84]

Hi Gizzy

what an awful situation to be in!
i think i would try and go.....just grit your teeth and think you can treat yourself to something nice after it for being such a good friend!
i defo wouldnt say i was too busy...maybe agree but pull out later due to 'sickness' if you want?
its not selfish its totally understandable but maybe you could have a quiet word if shes a good friend?
xx

 

[Drummers_wife]

I agree with mrsW84 - I have my sister and best friend both pregnant and I am truely happy for them but it hurts- I grit my teeth and try an be as happy for them like I was when their both had their 1st- as I wasn't going through all this during their 1st pregnancies xx

If you really can't face it- buy card and gift and make a good excuse- not too busy cos that's just rude if she is a close friend x

 

[Kay Kay]

Hey gizzy I think you should deffo have a quiet word with your friend if you really don't think you can go. If she's a good friend she will understand. It does hurt though, you are happy but jealous all at once. I'm currently going through a paranoid phase, thinking a close friend in work is preggers and trying to suss out if she is drinking at the wkend etc! I sound like a mental patient but that's my state of mind at the mo! Selfishly ill just be really upset if she gets prg, I know its not pc but that's just how I feel. I think the fact we all feel like that shows you its quite normal. Chin up sweetie, it'll be our turn soon Xxx

 

[sarah1]

Hi Gizzy,

I deffo think its fine if you don't go! It might seem selfish to other people but I always just think that one day they will know what we have been going through and might feel differently...its up to you, but I hate the thought of you going and trying to pretend you are ok and dodging the horrible questions. If it was me (sometimes it is) I wouldn't go either. Do what you think is right, think about yourself - you are allowed! take care hun xxxxxxx

 

[Star33]

I know its really hard to be around people celebrating there pregnancys & births but you have to stay strong.

I would go! you need to go, to get over this feeling, its hard wanting to be bfp & not being able to acheive this but you cant let it drive you mad & effect situations where you are not able to sit in places where there is babys or listen to talk of babys or pull yourself away from friends/family who are pregnant.

It's easier said than done & i can totally relate to how you are feeling. But your time WILL come & you will get pregnant, stay positive & go & celebrate your friends baby shower let them see you are strong.

Your time will come hun, & you say it looks like your gonna need treatment such as ??
I know others who have never thought they would EVER get pregnant & they are, through treatment & i am on treatment fertility meds, i aint had a strong positive opk in donkeys years & i start these meds & bingo i got my darkest opk in aaages last month. Treatment brings you one step closer to your bfp, its not a bad thing its a good thing cause it can get your bfp quicker than naturally trying if that make sence.

You have that strength inside you to face these people pregnant, you just have to find it! you can do it hun.

Stay positive & remember you WILL get your bfp.

xxx

 

[Kerrieanne]

Hey, ttcing is really tough, an experience a lot of people don't fully understand. Your well within your right to stay away. Even if u do feel happy for them and you may want to be there for your friend, you need to put yourself first. Send a card and prezzie and if they know the full story they should understand.

I was ttcing for years and after a while tried to put all my bitterness to one side and smile and say all the right things. But when I got home I used to cry myself to sleep. Sometimes, attending baby showers and the like are just not worth the upset it can make you feel.

Do not for one minute feel bad for staying away and I Hope it all works out Hun xx

 

[Gizzy Kelly]

Girls, thanks for all your kind messages and advice. I actually went to the baby shower in the end. I figured that if I stop going to these things then I would find it harder and harder each time I decided not to go. Thanks again .. Love Gizzy xxxxx

 

[MrsW84]

ahh well done you!
that must have been so hard and taken all your braveness to do it
but think of it as a moral victory if nothing else!!!
xx

 

[MrsW84]

oooo also weirdly check ouit the time of ur post yest and my post today!!!
weird!

 

[Gizzy Kelly]

ha ha how funny!!! greats minds thinks alike.
Good luck this month xx

Gizzy xxxxx