is it ok to let them cry sometimes?

[Emmylou]

I think it has to be your decision hun, have a chat with DH and discuss that you're not sure etc, maybe do a little research, I just wanted to give you my reasons behind why I didn't leave Libby, I'll find the text I used and let you know where it was from etc, as I was reading abook about it when I was deciding whether to leave her to cry or not......I definitely believe that they cannot be spoilt at Kenzo's age.

If you were asking this question in a year, then maybe you would need to leave him to cry sometimes, I still don't leave Libby to cry cry, only to whinge, as she is at an age where I know the difference between the different cries.....and she knows what happens....if she whinges, I can distract her out of it (without a cuddle) so I know she wasn't genuinely upset, just trying to get my attention

 

[Emmylou]

This is similar to the article I read hun:

Babies cry for many reasons, but the main reason is to tell you something. Your baby may be crying because she is uncomfortable; wet, cold, or too warm, hungry or thirsty, tired, or needs to burp. As a new parent, you will learn the differences between a tired, sleepy cry and a hungry, "feed-me" cry.

When your newborn cries, answer him. Go to him, pick him up and attempt to discover the reason for the crying. If he is clean, dry and fed, he may just want the comfort of your arms. Don't worry about spoiling a newborn. Babies under two months of age need to know that their needs will be met. This helps them feel that the world is a friendly place. For newborns, forget the idea of letting the baby "cry it out". Babies whose needs are met quickly and consistently cry less in the first year than babies whose needs are not met.

 

[Sammystar]

I've used my own form of CC on all three of mine, but never before three months of age.

I think the key is to follow your instincts. If it's upsetting you to hear him cry, there's a reason for that. Don't ignore your inner voice.

 

[Tina & Gabs]

This is similar to the article I read hun:

Babies cry for many reasons, but the main reason is to tell you something. Your baby may be crying because she is uncomfortable; wet, cold, or too warm, hungry or thirsty, tired, or needs to burp. As a new parent, you will learn the differences between a tired, sleepy cry and a hungry, "feed-me" cry.

When your newborn cries, answer him. Go to him, pick him up and attempt to discover the reason for the crying. If he is clean, dry and fed, he may just want the comfort of your arms. Don't worry about spoiling a newborn. Babies under two months of age need to know that their needs will be met. This helps them feel that the world is a friendly place. For newborns, forget the idea of letting the baby "cry it out". Babies whose needs are met quickly and consistently cry less in the first year than babies whose needs are not met.

I totally agree with this. I never ever left Gabs to cry and still don't (only leave her if she is whinging a bit). She is definitely not a clingy demanding baby and is in fact very independent and a great sleeper.
I am sure it helped her to develop a sense of security from attending to her whenever she cried.

Like others have said Kenzo is still very young and is still getting used to the world around him. Make the most of those little cuddles now as when they get a bit older those cuddles are fewer and farer between.

Good luck hun

 

[Krystal]

Follow your instincts and go see to your baby if he is crying

I think he's far too young to be using the CC method on. Like other girls have said he is too young to even understand what spoilt is. As he gets a little bigger and you start recognising each little cry you will know when he is just whingeing and doesn't need anything from you, once that happens then start doing it. Thats what I did with Jack anyway.

Your his mummy though, do it whatever way you feel comfortable with

 

[Redshoes]

I would also agree that he's still tiny so if it hasn't worked, its not going to, so go to him. Isaac was 6months old before I could consider any form of controlled crying, and I now never leave him more than 5mins, do what feels right for YOU not your OH he doesn't have the same emotional and physical attachment to Kenzo that you have

 

[laetitia85]

I would also agree that he's still tiny so if it hasn't worked, its not going to, so go to him. Isaac was 6months old before I could consider any form of controlled crying, and I now never leave him more than 5mins, do what feels right for YOU not your OH he doesn't have the same emotional and physical attachment to Kenzo that you have

congratulations redshoes! i just realised u were pregnant again!

by the way thanks everyone, there is obviously a difference of opinion, but i've realised my instinct tells me not to let him cry (well for now at least). i will introduce controlled crying much later. it worked once but it still broke my heart then the next time i tried it failed so it's probably not the right time!

 

[newmum]

.

 

[Lola's Mummy]

I don't let Lola I think she's still too young for CC and tbh i don't think i would be able to let her cry even if i tried.

 

[Redshoes]

Thankyou laetitia85

I think you'll find your LO will tell you when they need more of a 'routine' as they start to get somewhat grumpy when they are older and they are tired, they need their sleep like an adult does Then it is slightly easier to try to leave them to cry in their cot, because its also teaching them something positive which is that they can fall asleep alone and its OK.

After 6months of up and down ALL night everynight, or having an Isaac asleep on me, or having to go to bed at 7pm, I knew I had to try it and its been working well, except for when Isaac has teething issues, and he wants cuddles, which is fine Still, a lot of babies find their own routine so this issue may not even come up, I hope it doesn't and he finds that happy sleep routine for you

 

[KJ]

I think letting them cry for up to 10 mins or so is fine.

Ash goes down in his basket every night without so much as a peep now. WHen he was very little he would cry.

Hubbie would just hold me whilst we listened to him and timed how long it had been. He nearly always settled himself within 10 mins.

I met another lady today who absolutely marvelled at Asher sleeping in his basket. she said her baby is 11 months and will almost never go down by himself becasue she cuddled him to sleep when he was tiny. She wishes she'd never done it.

Don't get me wrong, sometimes I do let him fall asleep on me, but not as a rule. I love cuddles with him as well and am very affectionate (before someone calls me emotionless!).

K.xxx

 

[lauramumof2]

do you mean 10 mins without going in at all? I would only ever leave them for a timed 3 mins then go in but only to pat and reassure. It worked pretty well. I would only ever have to do it maybe 3 times then they would fall over. You can tell by the cry that they arent far off sleeping. I thankfully never needed to use controlled crying that much. Joe was a worse sleeper then tho but is a better sleeper now. Jess has always been a good sleeper but is a bit of a pest at night just now. I cant go for a pee without her wanting to know whats going on and I have to go in an kiss all her toys on the bed. Yes, I do it