is it ok to let them cry sometimes?

Discussion in 'Baby & Toddler' started by laetitia85, Jan 4, 2008.

  1. laetitia85

    laetitia85 Well-Known Member

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    Kenzo is too used to being in people's arms and sleeping in my arms. I had never managed to let him cry because I felt really bad and ended up crying as well. until last night... i really wanted him to sleep so i let him cry for about 4 minutes then he fell asleep himself. (i was crying too!)

    have you ever done that?
     
  2. Squiglet

    Squiglet Well-Known Member

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    Yes... and sometimes it's necessary....

    I know other people disagree... but leaving a baby to cry for a while never did any harm. I left Tia once for over half an hour, before she finally fell asleep... she's 8 and doesn't have any issues. She's still just as clingy as she was but at least now there are no bed time issues.
     
  3. eightball

    eightball Well-Known Member

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    I do it every day! Normally for odd daytime naps when she's a little too tired to drift off without a fuss.

    I don't have a set time I wait before going back in, it depends on how strong I'm feeling. It's normally between 2-5 minutes. Then I just hold her for a minute and put her back down and try again At the very worst I have to do that twice before she gets herself to sleep.

    I recommend keeping yourself busy while they're crying, by washing up with the radio on or something, it helps the time go faster!
     
  4. budge

    budge Well-Known Member

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    no i never let any of mine cry. :oops:
    i can't cope with it. ties my stomach in knots. All mine were rocked/jigged/bottom patted/ or what ever else to keep them from crying. :lol:

    my neighbour always says ''i never hear your baby cry'' and i always say ''its coz i never let them'' :lol:
     
  5. newmum

    newmum Well-Known Member

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    #5 newmum, Jan 4, 2008
    Last edited: Nov 3, 2009
  6. mrs_tommo22

    mrs_tommo22 Well-Known Member

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    Yes I have done when she was tiny and couldnt settle herself and its all paid off cos she doesnt cry at all now when shes put to bed and when I leave the room.

    :cheer: :cheer: :cheer:

    Its made life easier and shes very happy and secure
     
  7. Redshoes

    Redshoes Well-Known Member

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    Isaac used to cry and scream and I could never leave him to it, which probably added to my getting quite low because he was a 'bad' sleeper too so I got terribly tired in the first few months. Once he got to 6months I started to try it, it hurts, but I think he's better equipped now to understand he's in his cot, he's tired, I'll be back to see him if he doesn't settle etc Because your LO settled himself, and you've done it once, I would keep going with it, as long as you're comfortable with it :hug:

    I think whatever YOU feel comfortable with, is what IS right :hug: Only you has to be there 24/7 and bring up your baby as best you can, and whatever feels best for you then its best. I am thinking I may try it sooner with this LO but we'll see, I would also recommend a dummy if he doesn't have one, again that's my personal opinion. I was so anti-dummy, but when Isaac started taking one at 5 months my life became so much more easier, and quieter :D

    Very best wishes :hug: :hug: :hug:


    Love that sweet reply :hug:
     
  8. newmum

    newmum Well-Known Member

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    #8 newmum, Jan 5, 2008
    Last edited: Nov 3, 2009
  9. leckershell

    leckershell Well-Known Member

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    We do it every night as he wakes when we put him down in the cot. We know he's tired because he's already fallen asleep prior to being put down. He usually cries for about 10 minutes before he falls asleep but the first time we did it it was closer to 25 minutes. So it does work. Just go into a room where you can't hear him, that's what I do cos I hate the crying too.
     
  10. NIE

    NIE Well-Known Member

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    I hate hearing a baby cry during the night, but through the day I let Adam have a wee cry.
     
  11. Tangerinedream

    Tangerinedream Well-Known Member

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    some nights Jake tries to fight tiredness and and ends up crying so we just put him down in his cot and leave him to cry. 9 times out of 10 he will be asleep in 5 minutes. I used to feel bad until I realised it was because he was just so tired.
     
  12. Flame

    Flame Well-Known Member

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    I wish i could do what some of you do. We cant put my boy down in the evening before we go to bed cause he wakes up the instant we put him in his cot and starts crying, we try and sooth him for a few minutes then end up picking him up and he goes straight back to sleep again, so then we put him in his cot again and he wakes up again. My oh usually ends up bringing him back downstairs to sleep on us :? Or if its really late i just stay in bed and he will settle eventually if we are up there with him.
     
  13. laetitia85

    laetitia85 Well-Known Member

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    last night i tried again, he cried for about 8 minutes but i couldn't handle it, i let him fall asleep in my arms and it ended up a bit like Flame - everytime we put him down he started crying so we had the worse night ever, stayed up all night with him. until about 5am-ish
     
  14. BabyLove

    BabyLove Well-Known Member

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    Last Night I Had The Worst Night So Far Lol. The Same As Flame & Laetitia.. Everytime I Put Her In Her Moses Basket She Cried So I Had To Keep Picking Her Up Which I Knew Would Make Things Worse. This Went On From 9pm Until 4am & Nothing Helped! Feeds,Nappy Changes,Dummy,Cuddles.. She Just Wouldnt Settle & I Ended Up Crying Myself Then Feeling Like The Worst Mum On Earth :( This Hasnt Happned Before & Shes Usually Unsettled For Just an Hour Or Two Without The Tears. I Tried Letting Her Cry For 10 Minutes But Felt The Worst Guilt Ever It Didnt Help Either.
     
  15. BabyLove

    BabyLove Well-Known Member

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    Agree.

    Im Still P*ssed Off That I Tried It Last Night. The Guilt Doesnt Ease. Never Again

    This Is Exactly What I Do.. Altho I Give a Dummy Now & Then Too :lol:
     
  16. neeko_1

    neeko_1 Well-Known Member

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    hey hun

    kenzo is only a couple of weeks old and he has been in the womb for a long time

    he is still very new and needs his mum... don't leave him he was you and need the comfort. his not older enough yet to know what going on.

    if he cries go to him, his number one now, nothing else matters


    :hug:
     
  17. trixipaws

    trixipaws Well-Known Member

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    idk if u hav read my posts about controlled crying but my boyf and i dont see eye to eye on this... i kno it is for the best but i find it too hard leaving her cry- but my boyf practically forces me to coz its in her best interest he says im a bad parent for not "helping" her by letting her learn not to cry for attention :(
     
  18. Emmylou

    Emmylou Well-Known Member

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    I never let Libby cry.....now I leave her when she is just whinging etc, but she is a lot older than Kenzo, when she was newborn, and probably for a fair few months after, I always went to her when she cried, she isn't clingy or anything now, I was of the opinion that she was crying for a reason, even if that reason was was that she just needed a cuddle.

    As a newborn their brain isn't developed enough for them to become spoilt, or to 'guilt' you into going to them, they cry because it is their only means of communication, I saw it as trust building, if she needed me, she could cry and trust in me that I (or DH of course) would be there.

    I left her to cry once, when she was about 3 weeks old, she blared for about 5 minutes, I then went to her as I was in such a state, and crying myself and I vowed never to leave her that upset again, and I didn't. I don't think its had a detrimental effect on her at all.
     
  19. laetitia85

    laetitia85 Well-Known Member

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    oh gosh i'm confused now... :cry:
    :think:
    i do feel bad for doing it... but i've been advised to, by other parents around me...

    emmylou you're making me think - if it's true that their brains are not developped enough to become spoilt at this age maybe i should stop

    i'm just SO CONFUSED! my husband thinks we should let him cry soemtimes. :|
     
  20. neeko_1

    neeko_1 Well-Known Member

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    thats's what my hubby said... but as i said his not even a months old, and he does have a clue whats going on. just let him be with you, when he is older enough to get ito a routine do it

    but now just give him kisses and mummy hugs xx
     

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