Is it happeneing again?

[Tmum]

Aww I need a bit of help or just to write down how I'm feeling.
My lb was born almost 3 weeks ago.
I had a meltdown on Day 3 and some tears on Day 5 but apart from that I have been on top of the world and happier than ever...until yesterday! Yesterday and already today I have been very down! I don't know if I'm tired but my husband is really getting under my skin and I can't seem to be polite to anyone. I'm snapping at hubby and my oldest lb but immediately feel guilty when I see my son's face!
I had PND after having my first lb 5 years ago but didn't go to the dr until my son was almost a year! In that time I turned into a really horrible person! I was really hoping that it wouldn't happen again and everything started so positively but I'm feeling really crap today and the fear of having PND is really getting me down. I don't want to speak to hubby about it because he'll not even try to help it'll just be get back to the dr, my mum isn't too well atm and hasn't helped when I've said I was struggling on Days 3 or 5 so I don't want to go to her. I don't really want to mention to my MIL or bestfriend as she's my SIL so I'm feeling very lonely too and don't know if that's making it worse!
Is it baby blues or more ? Xx

 

[lisa1985]

So sorry to hear you are feeling like this. I haven't had my first baby yet so do not know anything about how it feels after birth, but could it be your hormones still settling with a mix of lack of sleep?
If you feel exactly the same as you did last time maybe it is best to get to the doctor sooner rather than later.
I have suffered with mild depression and bad anxiety for years and was on anti depressants for a while, but it did take me a long time to admit I was having any problems and I felt so relieved when I finally broke down to the doctor.
Big hugs for you xxx

 

[mum2b410]

I had pnd with my first (now almost 4) and didn't seek help til later on like u. With my second (just turned 1) I was well prepared for it to happen again but it got me hard and fast and I was a mess by about 5 weeks. I started meds at 6 weeks and got support from HV team and my family (I know they may b hard in your situation). I also had CBT. I am still on the anti-d's but I can honestly say I felt loads better by the time my second was 6 months. Getting help early really made a difference to me! I would say take yourself to the gp and discuss with them. They should do a couple of questionnaires with u to help determine if it is pnd or not. I really hope its not for you hun but whatever u do don't ignore how u feel xxxx

 

[JJ Mum]

Could it be tiredness kicking in tho, i know im getting about 2 -3 hours sleep at the mo in little bits between 3 am and 5:30 and that can really take its toll esp about now week 3 ( im the same sort of time since birth as you Griffin will be 16 days later today ).

Do run it by Your hv anyway as then they will be more aware and check in with you over next couple of weeks, and if any probs can catch it quickly so share your feelings now, and if it doesn 't turn out to be pnd this time then win/win xx

 

[Toni.C]

I've never experienced PND, maybe it's the combination of tiredness and hormones. I know my sister was the same when she Had her 2nd.

Do you have another HV appt booked soon? I'd perhaps talk to them or give the Drs a call. It's probably very normal to feel the way you do, but it's best you get yourself support sooner rather than later. And good for you for recognising it now so you can get help.

I hope you manage to get rest, and big hugs to you too x

 

[Tmum]

Thanks for the replies girls!
Made my appointment with the Dr and was lucky to get 1 tomorrow.
Had a wee cry this morning so finally told hubby how I was feeling!
He thinks I'm just tired.
I'm hoping it's just tiredness, hormones, I'm annoyed at hubby for never being here and always at football or wherever. I'm left with a 5 year old who has found this drinking attitude over the last week and a baby who likes mummy so much he feeds a lot lol!!!! I'm also annoyed that I've had to contact my mum first all the time or I'd never hear from her.
It was my birthday yesterday and hubby went and made gates, I had to call at my parents or if have heard from no one and I was left all day trying to handle the 5 year old with an attitude of a teenager and a baby that projectile vomited all over me and himself 30 mind before leaving for a swimming lesson! my house is closing in round me and I just feel so trapped, lonely and didappointed in the people round me.
I honestly felt the best I'd ever felt and now I'm feeling so shit I think the difference in the 2 is a blow in itself!
I just don't understand why I can't cope when everyone else can !

Sorry for the rant xx

 

[kumber]

Sorry you've been having it rough hun, the only thing I would think to suggest would be to ring the samaritans just as someone to talk to - just hearing another human voice can make such a difference. Sending you huge hugs, even if you do have PND it doesn't mean you're any less of a mum

 

[Tmum]

Hey Kumber, thank you!
I'm sitting in the waiting room at the drs as we speak.
Feel a lot more like myself today so kind of feel like I'm wasting their time but thought I'd still go just in case I feel like it again!
Was able to get some housework done today and that immediately made me feel better! Def the silly things that I let get on top of me!! Xx

 

[kumber]

Glad you're feeling better hun, the tiredness is so draining. Don't feel like you're wasting their time, your mental health is so important. Hope they can help chick.

 

[ShowingPromise]

Sounds to me like you are coping amazingly Tmum, I really don't know how you ladies with toddlers do it with a new baby! You are absolutely doing the right thing going to the docs, you may feel ok today but might not tomorrow or the next day, so if you can be prepared you'll be helping yourself to deal with it.
Such a shame your hubby isn't being supportive, I know mine is struggling with the change in sleep patterns but it's no excuse - perhaps yours needs another chat so he knows exactly how he is making you feel?

 

[mum2b410]

I hope the drs went well hun?

I know it seems like everyone else can cope and u cant- I felt that way a lot but u should try not to compare yourself to others! No 2 mums have the same baby or same circumstances or the same personal resources to deal with what comes up! You and your situation are unique and its not right to rate yourself against anyone else! Your children are loved, clothed and fed and you are coping just as well as anyone could expect given the lack of support from those around you!! I found that trying to think of at least one positive thing I'd achieved or that happened each day helped- like doing the housework like u said! Just keep talking to someone hun- here, Dr, HV, hubby, whoever. Don't bottle it up! *hugs*

 

[Tanya4beauty]

Oh my word I could've written your post! I've just posted almost the same thing! How did you get on at the drs? Xx

 

[Tmum]

Hey girls I'm just realising I never actually wb, so sorry!! Thanks for all of your replies!
Tanya4beauty, I got on fine. Dr thought it was down to exhaustion! With doing everything, all the feeds, day and night, trying to include my 5 year and worries about getting him back to school, worried about the house because I was constantly feeding and not able to get anything done and hubby being completely useless she said she thought I was coping well and that there are different challenges this time than when I had my son. She thought that because I am so conscious about having PND again that she thinks I'm basically looking for the signs and panicked when I just felt meh for the days that weekend! I'm back to see her on the 14th for my 6 week check but I think just coming out having that bit of reassurance that I'm not crumbling again has helped! I am still tired and pissed off that hubby is wick but I'm coping so much better than I could ever imagine!
Get yourself to the dr just to be sure and of you need a chat my inbox is always open xxx