Is it possible...

[*Star*]

to have a bit of PND?

I'm not too sure what's going on with me at the moment. There's been a few issues with me and mark. Mainly money worries. But I also feel like he is living the 'single life' still, as opposed to me living the 'family life'. he can still go out, doesn't worry about what money he spends etc.

Like, I went out shopping for a friends 50th on Sat. I bought 3 things, came to a total of not even £10, and all were little pressies for the boys for xmas. And two headbands for Millie. I didnt buy anything else cause i know money is tight generally and i just spent £60 on a coat (becuase i hadn;t bought one for years).

i come home and find he's spent 80 quid on another coat (he has about 5 now) and 25 quid on a baseball cap. also he was wearing some shoes that he said have been at his parents house but i am very suspicious about. i think he bought them as well.

we had a long talk last night. i dont know whats really up with me. especially towards oh. when he leans in to kiss me i turn my head so that he kisses my cheek and i dont kiss him. i always sit on the other sofa from him when were in the living room. i feel almost 'cold' towards him. i love him, but i just dont seem to have that emotion for him at the moment.

he is so into planning this wedding and things like that. but i just feel he has his priorities wrong. spending over 100 quid on things for him, and i spent 10 on things for the family. i feel like he wants to be a single person in a family environment.

its this coldness i feeling towards him atm. i dont get what it is. could it just be because of this difference in lifestyle at the moment? or could it be a touch of pnd? is that even possible? he says that im not really myself atm. he says that idont tell him how much i love him, or im not affectionate to him. i mean i am sometimes,but most of the time i feel pretty neutral towards him.

i dont know what it is. i mean, am i falling out of love with him? and he's just become someone thats there now?

i really dont know. i think im rambling now so i apologise. i just cant figure out why i amm feeling like this towards him. i do want to get married to him but every time he mentions the wedding or sorting things for it, i just dont want to talk about it and it makes me not want to talk to him.

i said to him last night that i almost resented him for not worrying abot money and being able to go out and just spend 100 without thinking about it. i wanted to go shopping on sat and spend 30 on the kids for presents and i didnt do that because i know i didnt have the money. he says he will cut out his personal training session at the gym which will save 80 a month, and that i can use that money to buy things for the kids, or take them places.

thank you if you got this far

 

[cheryl]

Hiya
Sorry I dont know very much about PND but just wanted to give a
I feel resentful of my OH at times too, its like our lives and priorities totally change overnight when we become mums and (some) men just don't get it. My OH doesnt get it that when i'm not working or spending time with Jack i'm breastfeeding or expressing or catching up with housework or doing the grocery shopping etc but he gets to spend time playing on the computer all night
Maybe men just take longer to get used to the new lifestyle? I hope this is it and it isnt that my OH is just a total lazy git!

I think its totally normal not to want to be thinking about planning a huge event like a wedding! Even the thought of trying to plan a wedding when youve got a newborn makes me feel knackered! And im sure that the way you are feeling towards your OH is normal at the moment, dont forget your hormones are probably still all over the place and its easy to feel resentful when it seems like your OH isnt making as much effort as you. He probably doesnt realise how youre feeling with the money stuff, maybe see if your talk with him helped and if it hasn't then try talking to him again and explaining how you feel? Sorry I cant be much help apart from just to say i think how you're feeling sounds normal and youre not alone with how you feel, but maybe it would be a good idea to chat to your health visitor if you feel really down?
Hope it gets better for you!
,

 

[sparky]

sounds like he's not giving you what you need just now. In my experiance men seem to be 100% committed whilst they are on paternity leave but as soon as they go back to work, they get their old life back...pretty much. So it seems normal for them. Also they dont really see just how much work is involved on a day to day basis.

I have had to speak to DH about this too, its not that he was being a prick it was simply because i wasnt asking for help that he didnt think i needed it.

Its probably the same re the money, as you are not picking him up on it and are being sensible yourself you expect him to do the same...men need to be told!

You sound as if you are starting to resent him, which is the most destructive emotion going! Try speaking to him and tell him what you need from him, you might have to keep plugging the point to him but they get there evenutally.

I make sure DH looks after the wee one on his own once in a while...and not just fun and feeding, but doing everything i do around the house etc, so he appreciates how much work it is.

 

[charlotteheys85]

i was just wondering this... i feel same xxxx