Does any one else feel very anxious and constantly worried? My real anxieties come about from a protective feeling over my bump and my family. I feel anxious and paranoid that something is going to happen to my partner or me when I am in situations that make me feel vulnerable.
For example, last night was my partner's 40th birthday party (I am in a same sex relationship and our baby has been conceived by donor). I had organised a big party and was shattered from spending the day cooking the buffet for 50 people. I left early with our nephews as I was so tired and had expected her home at about midnight. To cut along story short, she did not get home until gone 5am. I spent the whole night worried about her. I could not make contact with her and had awful visions of her being in a ditch somewhere. I hate it when she is drunk as she looses all of her inhibitions and is very easily led and I think this is so much worse as I have spent the last 6 or so months sober, so see all of the dangers more clearly. I did not sleep a wink and just watched the hours going by getting more and more worried. I know in reality that much of this anxiety is totally irrational, but I just can't seem to shake it when I'm in it iykwim. When I finally knew that she was safe at about 4:20am, my worry turned to anger and I felt that she had been so selfish and thoughtless.
So today has been a real washout. I am absolutely shattered. I try to make her understand how I feel and I have not been able to stop crying all day. Her birthday (actually today) has been a disaster since this morning because of this. I don;t want my anxieties to restrict her and i hate feeling that she considers me controlling (she has not actually said this), but I have found it so difficult to keep my worries in check since I have been pregnant. Sometimes it feels like I am going crazy, I just feel so bloody vulnerable!
Does any one else feel irrational worried and protective like this, or is it really just me?
Sorry about the long post - just wanted to run it past other pregnant ladies, as I am sure that much of this is hormone/pregnancy related - Advice please!!!
For example, last night was my partner's 40th birthday party (I am in a same sex relationship and our baby has been conceived by donor). I had organised a big party and was shattered from spending the day cooking the buffet for 50 people. I left early with our nephews as I was so tired and had expected her home at about midnight. To cut along story short, she did not get home until gone 5am. I spent the whole night worried about her. I could not make contact with her and had awful visions of her being in a ditch somewhere. I hate it when she is drunk as she looses all of her inhibitions and is very easily led and I think this is so much worse as I have spent the last 6 or so months sober, so see all of the dangers more clearly. I did not sleep a wink and just watched the hours going by getting more and more worried. I know in reality that much of this anxiety is totally irrational, but I just can't seem to shake it when I'm in it iykwim. When I finally knew that she was safe at about 4:20am, my worry turned to anger and I felt that she had been so selfish and thoughtless.
So today has been a real washout. I am absolutely shattered. I try to make her understand how I feel and I have not been able to stop crying all day. Her birthday (actually today) has been a disaster since this morning because of this. I don;t want my anxieties to restrict her and i hate feeling that she considers me controlling (she has not actually said this), but I have found it so difficult to keep my worries in check since I have been pregnant. Sometimes it feels like I am going crazy, I just feel so bloody vulnerable!
Does any one else feel irrational worried and protective like this, or is it really just me?
Sorry about the long post - just wanted to run it past other pregnant ladies, as I am sure that much of this is hormone/pregnancy related - Advice please!!!
