in-laws..

[sarafet]

the last few months i've had major fall outs with my oh's father. he drinks most nights, fights with people, steals from shops, gambles constantly, is aggressive towards people when drunk, the list goes on.

him and oh's mother have a 10 year old daughter too who witnesses all of this. (this isn't my oh's biological father btw )

we haven't told anyone about the pg yet, but i was wondering what to do when they baby is born. i don't go over to their house anymore and i don't plan to. i feel bad bc i want my baby to know and be close to their family, but i wouldn't want that man near him/her

what would you guys do?


sarah xxx

 

[Becs]

I would do the same as you, just keep your distance and don't have much to do with them. Sorry to hear what a tricky situation you are in but you are right. Your babies wellfair comes first.

 

[sarafet]

thanks becs, i feel bad bc oh wants his family to see the lo and has said he would take him/her over to their house himself, which made me really upset.

his mums ok, she's just a bit of a walk-over in the way that she lets this go on in her house with a 10yr old watching it all.

 

[Bloom]

I would just make sure whenever little one is over with them that you or your oh are there to and you can keep an eye on the baby.

What about having them over to you every now and again or having the 10 year old over to your house to see the baby.

 

[sunnyday]

If it were me I'd arrange for them to see the baby on my terms - I'd always be there and then if anything did happen that wasn't appropriate, you have a good case for limiting or restricting them seeing baby in the future.

Visits at your house sound like a good idea initially.

 

[muppetmummy]

I'd put your foot down and explain how you feel to your OH.
Visits at your house on your terms sound the best solution. Hopefully your FIL will behave himself at yours.

In laws are a headache aren't they, I've got no patience with my MIL at the moment. Normally I let her criticisms go over my head, but at the moment with my hormones I just want to smack her one

 

[sarafet]

thank for your opinions everyone

i've thought about supervised visits at our house, the thing is, we're actully waiting to move into our new house, so we were both staying at my OH's parents house, that's when it all began.. he was drunk one night and hit OH's mum and i pushed him off (OH was asleep,) which led to him grabbing me and throwing me on the floor, then he told me to get out of his house..

i keep saying to OH that his dad will never be welcome in my house, and it makes me so angry to think of what he done to me, he isn't used to people standing up to him. i suppose i'll need to be the bigger person let him see his grandchild, no matter how much i don't want to.

what a rubbish situation.

 

[muppetmummy]

In that case I'd say don't let him anywhere near the baby. You can't guarantee he wouldn't hurt the baby when drunk

 

[bumpmakes3]

Wow - he sounds like a loon. I'd get out of there as soon as possible because it doesn't sound healthy or very nice for you or the baby. It must stress you out something dreadful.

Supervised visits at your place on your terms would be the way I'd go as well. If he's that much of a prat and in the pub all the time hopefully he won;t come

 

[sarafet]

don't worry i'm at my mums now

and he's not in the pub all the time, drinks buckfast in his house

 

[bumpmakes3]

Glad to hear you're at your Mum's Grandad-to-be sounds like a real winner.... I'd go with your head and stay well clear of him. I'd say all in-laws are a challenge but he just sounds scary. Hopefully you'll be able to see OH's Mum and sister on their own. Have another

 

[sarafet]

the last few months i've had major fall outs with my oh's father. he drinks most nights, fights with people, steals from shops, gambles constantly, is aggressive towards people when drunk, the list goes on.

him and oh's mother have a 10 year old daughter too who witnesses all of this. (this isn't my oh's biological father btw )

we haven't told anyone about the pg yet, but i was wondering what to do when they baby is born. i don't go over to their house anymore and i don't plan to. i feel bad bc i want my baby to know and be close to their family, but i wouldn't want that man near him/her

what would you guys do?


sarah xxx

 

[Becs]

I would do the same as you, just keep your distance and don't have much to do with them. Sorry to hear what a tricky situation you are in but you are right. Your babies wellfair comes first.

 

[sarafet]

thanks becs, i feel bad bc oh wants his family to see the lo and has said he would take him/her over to their house himself, which made me really upset.

his mums ok, she's just a bit of a walk-over in the way that she lets this go on in her house with a 10yr old watching it all.

 

[Bloom]

I would just make sure whenever little one is over with them that you or your oh are there to and you can keep an eye on the baby.

What about having them over to you every now and again or having the 10 year old over to your house to see the baby.

 

[sunnyday]

If it were me I'd arrange for them to see the baby on my terms - I'd always be there and then if anything did happen that wasn't appropriate, you have a good case for limiting or restricting them seeing baby in the future.

Visits at your house sound like a good idea initially.

 

[muppetmummy]

I'd put your foot down and explain how you feel to your OH.
Visits at your house on your terms sound the best solution. Hopefully your FIL will behave himself at yours.

In laws are a headache aren't they, I've got no patience with my MIL at the moment. Normally I let her criticisms go over my head, but at the moment with my hormones I just want to smack her one

 

[sarafet]

thank for your opinions everyone

i've thought about supervised visits at our house, the thing is, we're actully waiting to move into our new house, so we were both staying at my OH's parents house, that's when it all began.. he was drunk one night and hit OH's mum and i pushed him off (OH was asleep,) which led to him grabbing me and throwing me on the floor, then he told me to get out of his house..

i keep saying to OH that his dad will never be welcome in my house, and it makes me so angry to think of what he done to me, he isn't used to people standing up to him. i suppose i'll need to be the bigger person let him see his grandchild, no matter how much i don't want to.

what a rubbish situation.

 

[muppetmummy]

In that case I'd say don't let him anywhere near the baby. You can't guarantee he wouldn't hurt the baby when drunk

 

[bumpmakes3]

Wow - he sounds like a loon. I'd get out of there as soon as possible because it doesn't sound healthy or very nice for you or the baby. It must stress you out something dreadful.

Supervised visits at your place on your terms would be the way I'd go as well. If he's that much of a prat and in the pub all the time hopefully he won;t come